Top 10 Stats
Latest Posts Loading... Loading...
Loading...
Loading...
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
Loading...
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 

Results 1 to 6 of 6
  1. #1
    Joe221 is offline Aspiring PUA
    Points: 52, Level: 1
    Level completed: 4%, Points required for next Level: 48
    Overall activity: 2.7%
    Join Date
    Mar 2013
    Posts
    1
    Points
    52
    Level
    1
    Thanks
    0
    Thanked 0 Times in 0 Posts
    Rep Power
    0

    Unhappy How am I supposed to get in contact with my ex again? is it worth it?

    Hi all, in august of last year I lost my ex girlfriend.
    I guess the problems started with her family (and the problems there) From what I gathered, her family loved me. I used to help her parents, her little brother and sister adored me. and my ex was crazy about me until her dad moved out (as he would on a regular basis he would always come back, 'move out' and come back again. I'd heard about the news - according to her, this row was the worst one yet.

    Anyway, I offered to come round. I wanted to comfort her because she sounded upset and stressed about everything. I wanted to take that pain away for her and be there for her - I even said she could come round for a few nights just until the worst was over.
    Turns out her mum 'needed' her and I wasn't allowed round. Now, I questioned this.. Why would her mum say this? she loved having me round and I made her daughter happy.

    I went to see her one day but she asked me to leave, she pretty much shunned me and it hurt. Her excuses came thick and fast.. I have a headache, I feel sick ect. I pointed out that she didn't seem very interested anymore over the internet. she also seemed to be hiding a few things. I got this in reply:

    "dont start
    go on at me when ya see me.
    I dont need this and you know that
    show me that respect"

    Just a week before she said 'She'd never leave me' and 'she loves me so much' but on the night I went to get my laptop back, she shoved it in my hand and shut the door in my face. I could kind of see the signs but I was hoping for the best. She told her dad to break us up over text and I got the text later that night.
    It reduced me to tears, she didn't even explain that, but she confirmed it over the phone an hour later.

    I had palpitations for the first time that night and it scarred me, every day since I've had some sort of anxiety attack up to the point where it has become a disorder. I broke down the next day and phoned her up, she was spiteful when I told her I wanted to see her. breaking up like that after a year and two months was pathetic in my eyes and I just wanted to reconcile with her. She wouldn't have it.

    Since then she has tried to turn my friends against me, threatened to call the police over a message that was quite tame compared to the things I wanted to say and called me numerous times behind my back even when I tried to forgive her for what I'd done. I was totally convinced this was all my fault at the time.

    I know I deserve better but she triggered my panic attacks and I miss the sweet side of her before she became all bitter. I haven't seen her in months, I'd like to know if she's changed and if she still has feelings for me. I've developed agoraphobia and a massive depression as well as social anxiety, my friends abandoned me and I rarely see my family (besides my parents) I've considered drinking my problems away but I doubt that will help anything. I can't get a new girlfriend in this state and I can't even find ways to improve after trying therapy and regular doctor visits.

    Does anyone know what I can do? I just feel lost right now. Thanks.

  2. #2
    Learning The Ropes is offline PUA Forums Respected Contributor
    Points: 691, Level: 13
    Level completed: 82%, Points required for next Level: 9
    Overall activity: 5.6%
    Achievements:
    7 days registered500 Experience Points
    Join Date
    Oct 2012
    Posts
    102
    Points
    691
    Level
    13
    Thanks
    0
    Thanked 0 Times in 0 Posts
    Rep Power
    38

    Default Re: How am I supposed to get in contact with my ex again? is it worth it?

    Hey man,

    I wish there was something I could say to make you feel better but happiness has to come from you. All you need is time to grieve and move on.

    This girl is very very bad news bro - do not contact her again under any circumstances. If you think you feel bad now, imagine how it would feel if you gave her an ago boost and then she trampled all over you again. And she will.

    This is definitely not worth it so just take one day at a time and gradually you will feel better. Sure, you will relapse sometimes and feel like crap but over time things will improve.

    Just be glad this heartless, cruel headfark is no longer in your life.

    Be strong bro.

  3. #3
    canuckkk is offline PUA in Training
    Points: 174, Level: 3
    Level completed: 48%, Points required for next Level: 26
    Overall activity: 0%
    Achievements:
    7 days registered100 Experience Points
    Join Date
    Jan 2013
    Posts
    36
    Points
    174
    Level
    3
    Thanks
    0
    Thanked 0 Times in 0 Posts
    Rep Power
    12

    Default Re: How am I supposed to get in contact with my ex again? is it worth it?

    keep your head up man, we've all been been to some degree. Best thing you can do it grieve it out now, and be ready to grind it out hard when you're ready. You're going to have to realize that nice person you cared about is gone, and she wont be coming back. If you keep in contact you will find yourself dealing with a completely different person so opposite to that you've grown to love, trust me. If her feelings change LET HER be the one to show it, there it nothing worse than chasing after someone that doesn't want anything to do with your caring and compassion. Save it and provide it to someone who deserves it more. Here's something that might help you out!

    "If you consider the person you were prior to the relationship and the sort of person you are now and then envision the person you could become. If the person you could become exceeds who you were when you started dating this person then self improvement will allow you to get a better partner next time. I found that friends who improved whilst with their partners were able to instantly “upgrade” as soon as their relationships ended. Whether this was improving their physique, their general niceness or their financial well being they often had 2-3 other people who were straight away keen. These people got over their break ups instantaneously as a result"

    This is the type of thing that can define a great life experience. Its going to be hard, I know. But bounce back from this as best you can, BE the 1% and while you chase that self improvement, im sure you'll find a woman that will the same if not better for you my friend. Keep your head up! You might not rationalize this now, but in time you will

  4. #4
    Sparta is offline Aspiring PUA
    Points: 138, Level: 2
    Level completed: 76%, Points required for next Level: 12
    Overall activity: 3.8%
    Achievements:
    100 Experience Points
    Join Date
    Feb 2013
    Posts
    23
    Points
    138
    Level
    2
    Thanks
    0
    Thanked 0 Times in 0 Posts
    Rep Power
    11

    Default Re: How am I supposed to get in contact with my ex again? is it worth it?

    I agree. My ex has turned into a completely different person and recontacting her has only led to more pain because the person I knew died with the relationship. Its amazing how much they change but they do. Its not just me saying that, pretty much most people at work say she isn't the person they used to know. If you were to get her back it would have to and i mean have to come from her so pretty much the only thing you can do is go NC to retain any power or even dignity. Hurts like a b!tch

  5. #5
    flyer1's Avatar
    flyer1 is offline PUA Forums Respected Contributor
    Points: 1,149, Level: 19
    Level completed: 49%, Points required for next Level: 51
    Overall activity: 0%
    Achievements:
    7 days registered1000 Experience Points
    Join Date
    Sep 2012
    Posts
    113
    Points
    1,149
    Level
    19
    Thanks
    0
    Thanked 0 Times in 0 Posts
    Rep Power
    57

    Default Re: How am I supposed to get in contact with my ex again? is it worth it?

    Interesting post and I see you have gotten a lot of support in defense of your position with your ex. But I hate to say it you farked up from the beginning with your ex. Who were you trying to date your ex or her family? The only thing that separated you from being married to her was a piece of paper. She wanted an alpha man who would give her a fark every now and then not some surrogate daddy or husband in which you became and now you are a mess.

    In order to get her back you will have to reframe yourself and show her that you are strong, and your own man and not a crying post for her. This will take time because you are not close to achieving this. You will have to go no contact (NC) on this and depending on your progress with your inner game will determine how long it will be. During your time of no contact really work on your game, approach women to get practice in meeting women and what to say and how to act. With your ex you were to needy and clingy and this led to her being rude to you and your demise.

    The only other suggestion I can give you is to try and get over your phobias and other sicknesses that you developed over this woman. I know this is not what you want to hear but good luck to you man!

  6. #6
    rs5096's Avatar
    rs5096 is offline PUA Forums Respected Contributor
    Points: 6,060, Level: 53
    Level completed: 55%, Points required for next Level: 90
    Overall activity: 32.0%
    Achievements:
    Social7 days registered5000 Experience Points
    Join Date
    Feb 2012
    Posts
    219
    Points
    6,060
    Level
    53
    Thanks
    0
    Thanked 0 Times in 0 Posts
    Rep Power
    259

    Default Re: How am I supposed to get in contact with my ex again? is it worth it?

    Dude,

    Forget about her and work on you. I played game and was pretty damn good at it and 1 bad breakup cost me my confidence. I'm building myself up again - using a few products. The one which is really helping is DiCarlo's "The Attraction Code".

    rs5096


Similar Threads

  1. What are supposed to do after you got the girl's number?
    By DrDre007 in forum General Questions
    Replies: 5
    Last Thread: 04-22-2012, 11:58 AM
  2. Is Day Game Supposed to be this Hard?
    By Skithiryx in forum Online And Text Game
    Replies: 5
    Last Thread: 03-17-2012, 01:58 PM
  3. Replies: 0
    Last Thread: 01-25-2012, 11:57 PM
  4. Replies: 2
    Last Thread: 11-30-2011, 02:40 AM
  5. saboteurs: what am i supposed to do about them?
    By beenderew in forum General Questions
    Replies: 1
    Last Thread: 11-20-2011, 08:15 PM

Bookmarks

Posting Permissions

  • You may not post new threads
  • You may not post replies
  • You may not post attachments
  • You may not edit your posts
  •  
DMCA.com