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  1. #1
    batsy is offline PUA in Training
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    Default Sending "mistakes were made" text

    I've posted lot of threads about the same woman here. We've been finished for almost two months and NC by phone for 16 days now. I met her and her new exclusive boyfriend at the party last weekend. All was good, no drama. Well, I made out with her friend who jumped me in front of her. Not sure if that counts lol.

    I was reading my old threads and realized how many farking mistakes I made. I acted clingy, needy and outright childish at times. I can only blame myself how things turned out. I've been dating other girls since and I'm not pursuing her. She knows I've been dating.

    Now, I was thinking about sending a text something like:

    "I was thinking lately and realized that a lot of things were handled poorly. Many mistakes were made but I learnt from them. Wish you all the best!"

    Is this beta? Is there anything to gain or should I just stick with the NC?

    edit: Forgot to mention that we share an extended social circle and I'm going to be seeing her occasionally which is quite the reason for this post.

  2. #2
    canuckkk is offline PUA in Training
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    Default Re: Sending "mistakes were made" text

    bringing up thoughts and emotions in regards to the past may not be the best thing if you are looking to further patch up your relationship with your ex. I also thought the same thing for down the road. If you have intentions in getting her back or something similar then its not a good idea to send that imo. The most you may hypothetically get out of that text is her agreeing with you and anything else would be surprising, if not her just brushing that text off as it really wouldn't change anything. If you're dating and being the good person you are then that alone shows to your ex you've learned from your mistakes and moved on. If she is with another man and has no issue with you I say continue on NC and if there is something left to say, let your ex be the one to contact you is how I feel.

    Im in the same social group as my ex, and really I looked at it this way: No one cares that my ex and I had a nasty breakup, and she jumped on a new guys back so quickly. It doesnt effect my group, and nor should it effect yours. Your groups friendship towards you and you're ex should remain the same from your peers. That said, whether you guys talk or not shouldn't change your group dynamics. I assume the worst is behind you and your ex is civil towards you so really becoming more friendly to your ex doesnt effect anyone but yourself honestly.

  3. #3
    Learning The Ropes is offline PUA Forums Respected Contributor
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    Default Re: Sending "mistakes were made" text

    Excellent advice from Canuck. I'm sure you both made mistakes but those are in your past now. And so is your ex.

    Keep NC and if you do bump into her, be polite but do not engage with her.

    You're doing good.

  4. #4
    batsy is offline PUA in Training
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    Default Re: Sending "mistakes were made" text

    Good stuff thanks. Decided not to send her anything. As you said, nothing really to gain there.

  5. #5
    Sparta is offline Aspiring PUA
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    Default Re: Sending "mistakes were made" text

    Im thinking similar things with regards to friendship with my ex. Although I work with her im just going to continue NC. Being friends with her is only cushioning her emotions if anything and playing on yours. By texting her you are showing emotion and giving her power.

    I tried a similar approach in asking to put this behind us but she only took adantage by messing with my emotions. The past is the past and you have to ask yourself, do you really need her and even want her to be nothing more than a friend?


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