Top 10 Stats
Latest Posts Loading... Loading...
Loading...
Loading...
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
Loading...
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 

Results 1 to 8 of 8
Like Tree1Likes
  • 1 Post By jdcrow2032

Thread: EX Says She Loves Me But Needs A Break

  1. #1
    AlexUK is offline Aspiring PUA
    Points: 55, Level: 1
    Level completed: 10%, Points required for next Level: 45
    Overall activity: 2.5%
    Join Date
    Mar 2013
    Posts
    2
    Points
    55
    Level
    1
    Thanks
    0
    Thanked 0 Times in 0 Posts
    Rep Power
    0

    Default EX Says She Loves Me But Needs A Break

    Hi Pua forum members..

    I've pretty much been a lurker here but I am in a bit of a situation and wanted advice.

    So I started dating a girl I met online about 5 months ago and everything was really good up until Saturday when out of the blue she ended it. We hadn't had any arguments/warning signs up to that point, so it came as a shock, and has hit me pretty hard..

    We met up 1-2 times a week from the start of the 5 month relationship which wasn't ideal, but we always kept in touch and spoke by text pretty much all day.. good morning/good night, and all throughout the day, so everything was really strong.

    Her reasons for ending it were "I am not sure if I am going to get into uni and I am not sure where my life is going.. I'll only up up hurting you. I am not "crazy in love" I sometimes think I love you, then I don't, I'm confused".

    The really weird thing is she always insists she loved me since day 1 and was the person who said it first, and the most, and even said it in person 1 week before the breakup.. and up until that Saturday she would text me and initiate conversation non stop, but at the moment she has school most days and assignments when she isn't in school/the stress of potentially not getting into uni and having to retake her whole year. I don't know if this is causing her to be like this or what it is. We didn't speak till Sunday night afterwards and she said "I need a break to see how I really feel, at the moment I love and miss you". So I asked, "do you want to not speak for a few days for a break?" and she said "No, i missed us not talking today, I miss you".

    Now since then most of my friends have just said leave her well alone, make her miss you, etc..which I am pretty bad at doing. We don't speak much now, but I usually message her good morning/ask her how her days been, and have asked her if shes done thinking, but my timing has been poor since shes studying so much at the moment and I never know when a good time is.

    What do you guys advise doing? Every time I talk to her she seems to change her mind. The other night I said "Perhaps its best if we don't talk for a few weeks so we can have a real break", and she instantly texted back, "what, no, i want to talk, lets try again please", then the next morning she says shes thinking n stuff.. then another time "let's try again" then another time, "i dont think i can be in a relationship right now"

    I'm pretty poor with self control and usually get the urge to message her (it's so hard when you've been speaking daily for 5 months and were so close to someone, and being in the situation where you don't know which way it's going to go is worse I think than knowing its over). I'm pretty much messing up here due to that part, is there any solution apart from just blanking her now and praying she starts to initiate conversation/misses me? There was absolutely no build up to the breakup and it came out of the blue..up until the night before everything was friendly/happy/normal chats, no signs of anything.

    Is there any actual way to do this without the blanking? acting friendly? talking a little? what would you advise to do. In most cases I'd just give up, if it had a build up and we genuinely weren't getting on, but it's so strange as it came out of the blue over lunch..I couldn't have predicted it, and the fact she has changed her mind, said she loves me, misses me, then doesn't/doesn't know.. makes me think it's worth trying again/attempting to get her back. I fear if I message her to much though I'll come across desperate and end up pushing her away, making her think I'm a crazy obsessive person. It's hard.

    What do you think my chances are? Day 1: I think it's better we're apart, I'm sorry. Day 2: I need space to see my feelings, at the moment I love and miss u" Day 3: We can try again, I don't want to not talk. Day 4: 30 minute text conversation, from I can't be in a relationship to "I need time to think". Her mind changes daily pretty much and it's driving me insane not knowing.

    thanks

  2. #2
    jdcrow2032 is offline Aspiring PUA
    Points: 152, Level: 3
    Level completed: 4%, Points required for next Level: 48
    Overall activity: 0%
    Achievements:
    100 Experience Points31 days registered
    Join Date
    Dec 2012
    Location
    Arlington, TX
    Posts
    26
    Points
    152
    Level
    3
    Thanks
    0
    Thanked 0 Times in 0 Posts
    Rep Power
    9

    Default Re: EX Says She Loves Me But Needs A Break

    Go No Contact immediately! I know you don't want to hear this, but she is playing the field right now. She will lie to you and keep you on the backburner for as long as possible... Talking to her will make this worse as she thinks she can just turn around and have you anytime. Let her know you will not put up with this... Do not tell her you are on to her, do not ask her if she is playing the field... Just go no contact, and ignore her text messages... When she finally calls you (she will) Be polite, but tell her that you are in the middle of something and can't talk right now, tell her to give you a call next week. After that, if she does not call (she will) you can call her up and make a coffee plan. Make sure you have enough time for your head to be straight. Do not think about her right now, you don't have time for someone who doesn't know what she wants... So, instead of trying to be there for her, let her know what she lost by taking it completely away. Good luck!

    Also, it is a bad idea to tell her you are going no contact, you want the effects of NC to make her wonder why you stopped talking to her... and what you are up too. I know this is hard, but trust me... If you get the urge to call or text come back to the boards and ask what your next move is. Always consult before taking the next step as your inner game needs to be re calibrated.

    Don't text her ANYTHING right now. Just go NC!

  3. #3
    MrFurious99 is offline Aspiring PUA
    Points: 55, Level: 1
    Level completed: 10%, Points required for next Level: 45
    Overall activity: 8.2%
    Join Date
    Mar 2013
    Posts
    4
    Points
    55
    Level
    1
    Thanks
    0
    Thanked 0 Times in 0 Posts
    Rep Power
    0

    Default Re: EX Says She Loves Me But Needs A Break

    This is sort of the issue that I am going through as well. I have a question about NC however. My on-a-break wife texted me asking me to give her my SSN so she could do her taxes and stuff, so I responded to that. Should have not responded and waited until she called? Which I'm assuming she would have had to.

  4. #4
    jdcrow2032 is offline Aspiring PUA
    Points: 152, Level: 3
    Level completed: 4%, Points required for next Level: 48
    Overall activity: 0%
    Achievements:
    100 Experience Points31 days registered
    Join Date
    Dec 2012
    Location
    Arlington, TX
    Posts
    26
    Points
    152
    Level
    3
    Thanks
    0
    Thanked 0 Times in 0 Posts
    Rep Power
    9

    Default Re: EX Says She Loves Me But Needs A Break

    I have experienced the "I need something" text on occasion... An ex once texted me that she left her car title at my place. I did respond to this, asked her where it was and I would mail it. As long as you responded with just your SSN and that was it I would say you are fine. (keep in mind she is trying to see if you are on her team, make no mistake.) Then back to NC. If she asks for anything at your house, mail it to her with no response and no letter. This will give her signals that she does not know what to do with, and will ultimately lead to a phone call.

  5. #5
    MrFurious99 is offline Aspiring PUA
    Points: 55, Level: 1
    Level completed: 10%, Points required for next Level: 45
    Overall activity: 8.2%
    Join Date
    Mar 2013
    Posts
    4
    Points
    55
    Level
    1
    Thanks
    0
    Thanked 0 Times in 0 Posts
    Rep Power
    0

    Default Re: EX Says She Loves Me But Needs A Break

    I should have left it with just that one text back with the SSN, my mistake was most likely texting back and saying give me yours as well, followed by a "thanks". I thought I was just being polite but hindsight being what it is I was probably coming off as meek in her eyes.

    Either way, that was the last I've said to her.. so back to NC I guess.

  6. #6
    jdcrow2032 is offline Aspiring PUA
    Points: 152, Level: 3
    Level completed: 4%, Points required for next Level: 48
    Overall activity: 0%
    Achievements:
    100 Experience Points31 days registered
    Join Date
    Dec 2012
    Location
    Arlington, TX
    Posts
    26
    Points
    152
    Level
    3
    Thanks
    0
    Thanked 0 Times in 0 Posts
    Rep Power
    9

    Default Re: EX Says She Loves Me But Needs A Break

    I wouldn't worry too much about it, just go nc.

  7. #7
    flyer1's Avatar
    flyer1 is offline PUA Forums Respected Contributor
    Points: 1,149, Level: 19
    Level completed: 49%, Points required for next Level: 51
    Overall activity: 0%
    Achievements:
    7 days registered1000 Experience Points
    Join Date
    Sep 2012
    Posts
    113
    Points
    1,149
    Level
    19
    Thanks
    0
    Thanked 0 Times in 0 Posts
    Rep Power
    57

    Default Re: EX Says She Loves Me But Needs A Break

    If she is lying to you and playing the field then so should you! And from the tone of your letter that what it seems. Now is the time to get your inner game together and going out to see what works and what doesn't. Stop sitting around thinking about her and trying to get her back because what you are doing now is trying to think of ways to get her to respond and think of only you which makes you seem desperate and needy.

    In order to work on your game talk and hang out with other women and get out there and start enjoying life and give up the one-itis for now. In doing this she will see that you have a life and will be more attracted to you because of your confidence and exciting life. Good luck man!

  8. #8
    MrFurious99 is offline Aspiring PUA
    Points: 55, Level: 1
    Level completed: 10%, Points required for next Level: 45
    Overall activity: 8.2%
    Join Date
    Mar 2013
    Posts
    4
    Points
    55
    Level
    1
    Thanks
    0
    Thanked 0 Times in 0 Posts
    Rep Power
    0

    Default Re: EX Says She Loves Me But Needs A Break

    I'm curious what you would recommend in my situation where my ex is a very long distance away currently. Once NC ends, how should I proceed? I could plan a trip to go out to see her, but that just seems kind of counter productive if I'm trying to get back my power, only to head to her. The flip side of that is I know she doesnt make enough cash to ever save up enough to do the reverse.


Similar Threads

  1. When It's obvious she loves sex
    By Teddyjames in forum Online And Text Game
    Replies: 1
    Last Thread: 03-21-2013, 11:40 PM
  2. Girl says its over but still loves me - How to act?
    By resistence in forum How To Get Your Ex Back
    Replies: 6
    Last Thread: 03-16-2013, 09:24 AM
  3. She Still Loves Me, But Won't Forgive Me
    By hill_bomber in forum How To Get Your Ex Back
    Replies: 0
    Last Thread: 01-01-2013, 06:52 PM
  4. Girlfriends still loves me but wont get back with me
    By darkchild101 in forum How To Get Your Ex Back
    Replies: 2
    Last Thread: 11-07-2011, 03:23 AM
  5. The Ex that Loves you
    By Fisher in forum How To Get Your Ex Back
    Replies: 3
    Last Thread: 10-31-2011, 01:59 PM

Bookmarks

Posting Permissions

  • You may not post new threads
  • You may not post replies
  • You may not post attachments
  • You may not edit your posts
  •  
DMCA.com