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  1. #1
    mrboombastic is offline Aspiring PUA
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    Default Broke up on good terms but requested NC...good idea?

    I was friends with my ex for about 6 months before we started dating. We dated for only a month or so before she told me that she wasnt over her ex-fiance. She said although she tried and wanted to make it work with me she couldnt give me her heart. Been split with the ex fiance for 12 months, and she sais she wasnt happy in this relationship but hasn't fully moved on yet. She gave me the LJBF speech and i said i understand if your hearts not in it but i cant continue to hang out with you. We never had a single argument and parted on really good terms.
    Problem is i said once i walk away i dont want any contact from you.
    She said:not even to say hi? and i said no.

    SO its been almost 3 weeks NC, do i continue NC or do i give her a chance for future contact by first instigating it?

    I dont want her back with a clouded mind and in half heartedly, but she told me i was the person she had the most connection with in all her previous relationships (more then the ex) and we were best friends. (so much in common)

    I didnt really put up a fight to keep her once i heard about feelings for the ex so i didnt really get too emotional or angry so its very easy for me to reopen contact and i know thats what she wanted but as "friends" but i think she wanted me to be there as a safety net.

    New member and first post so any advice would be great!
    THanks

  2. #2
    Winmau is offline PUA in Training
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    Default Re: Broke up on good terms but requested NC...good idea?

    I think youve handled this very well and a right in assuming she will use you as a safety net. This is particularly clear as she doesnt want to let go so by remaining friends it eases the pain. Whether to cut contact is a tough one. I cut contact with my ex and she sounded and seemed really pleased to hear from me, turns out she was hurting, even though she cheated and left me. What ended up however is that she used me as a safety net, regained power and then turned nasty. I personally would therefore hold out with NC and wait until she contacts you, also giving you the power position. NC is hard though.

  3. #3
    mrboombastic is offline Aspiring PUA
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    Default Re: Broke up on good terms but requested NC...good idea?

    as a rule the breakup-er should initiate contact but i made it so clear that she couldnt contact me,so even if she wanted to she probably wouldn't.

  4. #4
    mrboombastic is offline Aspiring PUA
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    Default Re: Broke up on good terms but requested NC...good idea?

    Update: a friend of mine said he saw her with the ex-fiance. This isn't a suprise as she said she would probably go back to him.

    Ive realised now that if they fail a second time round and she tries to come back to me it would be BETA to take her back?

    So isn't the ex fiance being BETA by taking her back at the drop of a hat whenever she is ready to return??


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