Top 10 Stats
Latest Posts Loading... Loading...
Loading...
Loading...
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
Loading...
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 

Results 1 to 7 of 7
  1. #1
    JustStartingOut is offline PUA in Training
    Points: 125, Level: 2
    Level completed: 50%, Points required for next Level: 25
    Overall activity: 68.2%
    Achievements:
    7 days registered100 Experience Points
    Join Date
    Apr 2013
    Posts
    45
    Points
    125
    Level
    2
    Thanks
    0
    Thanked 0 Times in 0 Posts
    Rep Power
    11

    Unhappy Need help with my ex situation, she showed interest but flaked

    Well my problem is, my ex and I are both just about 19. We dated for just over a year and things were great up until the last maybe 2 months. We ended up arguing quite a bit in the last 2 months of our relationship and I have to admit I became needy, controlling and dependent on her. I stopped spending a lot of time with my friends and it just created problems with her and I.

    We broke up after taking about a week break to let her figure out what she wanted. Before the break she said she wasn't sure she could love me the way I deserved and she wasn't sure what she wanted. I am pretty sure she lost interest because she ended up cheating on me during the break with a guy she was interested in and I found out after we split. I of course made a couple mistakes before I found out she cheated and a little afterwards, I promised change, a begged, cried, basically everything you aren't supposed to do. After that I just stopped talking to her completely, she stopped messaging me, we deleted each other off of all our social networks etc.

    For about 3-4 weeks we did not communicate until one day she admitted being depressed, lonely, sad and that she made a huge mistake and missed me so bad and that she'd always loved me and that she saw I was doing fine without her and seemed to have moved on. She messaged me and asked for us to meet up so she could give me a couple of my sweaters back. The day we met up we ended up hooking up and things just seemed great, then for the next 4-5 days that's what we continued to do, text everyday, hook up. She would text me like we were dating, calling me, telling me she loved me and missed me and I reciprocated this which I feel like I shouldn't have so easily. We both didn't want to move quickly but it was quite clear we were moving too fast and she admitted to that, as did I which I think scared her. She said was 99% sure that this was what she wanted she just needed a few days to figure it out for sure. She told me not to get my hopes up though because she didn't know what she wanted and that she didn't want to hurt me again, she also told me that guy she cheated on me with was just her friend and that they didn't talk anymore.

    I asked her about it two days later because she had followed him on a social network and she said that she honestly was just friends with him and she hadn't seen him since the incident. She made it clear she was just friends with him.

    After that the conversation went downhill fast, she told me she really didn't want me to get my hopes up because right now she had no clue what she wanted. She told me that she didn't want to hurt me again and that was her biggest fear. She said she needed to trust herself before she could be with me and that she needed to know what she wanted before jumping into anything. She said she loves me and always will and the reason she got so close to me was because she loved me and she couldn't help it. Then she said what she needed at the moment was to just be friends so she didn't have to feel committed to anyone because she couldn't commit right now because that wouldn't let her grow as a person and as a individual and it wouldn't help her see what she really wants. Then she said that we could see each other as friends or just let whatever happens happen and we could decide in a few months if we would like to try again and if we did, we could. She told me she wasn't shutting me down she just said that was all she could offer me right now.

    I messaged her saying that I agree we should just be friends and that I understand that she doesn't know what she wants and we could see what would happen in a few months. She asked me why the change of hear and if I had "met someone else or something". I just said "What? Why would you ask me that? I have just been thinking a bit.". I told her I still wanted to get back together but I felt like she was just leading me on until she found someone she'd rather be with and she persisted on telling me that wasn't the case she just didn't know what she wanted right now.

    I told her friends for now and then that we could try in a few months if we wanted too like we had previously agreed too. She said in a few months she isn't even sure if she'd want to try because she doesn't know what she wants.

    So I told her I didn't know what I wanted anymore but I used too and that the next few times we hang out maybe I'll be able to figure out what I want from that. She said that, that would work and then I said "hopefully for you too". Then I told her I had to go and left the conversation.

    I feel I failed a Sh1t Test by asking her about that guy that she had followed on a social network. I know I shouldn't want her back after she cheated on me, but she claims it was a huge mistake. She knows she has me wrapped around her fingertips though but I made it clear that I wouldn't wait for her in one of our more recent conversations because she told me not to hesitate at other girls if someone that I thought could make me happier came along. I said if my hearts in it, I'd go for it. She just said okay.

    I have no idea how to handle this now, just go no contact? What if she messages me? Reply? Ignore? A phone call do I ignore those? What if she wants to hang out? Would getting a bunch of girls and getting them to show interest in me work in my favor? I have been talking to a lot of girls to help keep my mind busy.

    Any help would be great guys.

    I edited this post from my first thread, the other was way too long.

  2. #2
    Adviltnt is offline Aspiring PUA
    Points: 51, Level: 1
    Level completed: 2%, Points required for next Level: 49
    Overall activity: 2.5%
    Join Date
    Apr 2013
    Posts
    1
    Points
    51
    Level
    1
    Thanks
    0
    Thanked 0 Times in 0 Posts
    Rep Power
    0

    Default Re: Need help with my ex situation, she showed interest but flaked

    I'm kind of in the same situation. My ex dumped me 2 months ago. I asked for coffee meet and she agreed. By the end of meeting, she doesn't mind me dating other girls so I guess she moved on. The thing is she still thinks I haven't moved on. It sucks cause she thinks she can have any guy she wants. For your situation, I'd wait until she initiate the call. You'llbe in a better position if she's the first person to contact.

  3. #3
    JustStartingOut is offline PUA in Training
    Points: 125, Level: 2
    Level completed: 50%, Points required for next Level: 25
    Overall activity: 68.2%
    Achievements:
    7 days registered100 Experience Points
    Join Date
    Apr 2013
    Posts
    45
    Points
    125
    Level
    2
    Thanks
    0
    Thanked 0 Times in 0 Posts
    Rep Power
    11

    Default Re: Need help with my ex situation, she showed interest but flaked

    Yeah I don't plan to message her or call her man. The thing is, she's doing these weird subliminal messages to like make it seem like I'm the one doing all this negative stuff. I wonder if it's because when I told her I didn't know what I wanted anymore, really messed with her. That or it's someone else. But she's acting like she's waiting on something/someone, or even saying stuff like I'm walking out on her.. It's quite confusing. I mean.. I didn't really do anything but it makes me want to message her and talk to her. It could just be her way of getting me to reach out and react to all of those things though, because we havent talked for a few days.

  4. #4
    Winmau is offline PUA in Training
    Points: 346, Level: 6
    Level completed: 92%, Points required for next Level: 4
    Overall activity: 49.0%
    Achievements:
    7 days registered250 Experience Points
    Join Date
    Jan 2013
    Location
    Kansas City
    Posts
    41
    Points
    346
    Level
    6
    Thanks
    0
    Thanked 0 Times in 0 Posts
    Rep Power
    19

    Default Re: Need help with my ex situation, she showed interest but flaked

    Best thing to do is simply (I say simply lol) ignore her. Ignore her Facebook, Twitter etc, move on and wait for her to come begging. Its real hard to ignore her FB but it only messes with your head when you see this stuff.

    Like I said earlier, i believe any attempt to get them back or letting them know your interested gives them all power. Me and a friend split from our girls, went NC and both were reinitiators in contact. Mine just wanted to be friends however his was just like yours. What was for sure is that we both handed them the power and they both turned into ugly situations. My belief is it has to come from her.

  5. #5
    JustStartingOut is offline PUA in Training
    Points: 125, Level: 2
    Level completed: 50%, Points required for next Level: 25
    Overall activity: 68.2%
    Achievements:
    7 days registered100 Experience Points
    Join Date
    Apr 2013
    Posts
    45
    Points
    125
    Level
    2
    Thanks
    0
    Thanked 0 Times in 0 Posts
    Rep Power
    11

    Default Re: Need help with my ex situation, she showed interest but flaked

    Yeah I noticed that the guy she cheated on me with is liking a lot of her statuses and pictures, and she liked a few of his statuses, so I've come to the consensus she and him might have started up, resulting in the flake? I think I'll just cut contact completely. So you didn't even reply to a single message? Or did you give back one word, I'm busy kind of replies?

  6. #6
    Winmau is offline PUA in Training
    Points: 346, Level: 6
    Level completed: 92%, Points required for next Level: 4
    Overall activity: 49.0%
    Achievements:
    7 days registered250 Experience Points
    Join Date
    Jan 2013
    Location
    Kansas City
    Posts
    41
    Points
    346
    Level
    6
    Thanks
    0
    Thanked 0 Times in 0 Posts
    Rep Power
    19

    Default Re: Need help with my ex situation, she showed interest but flaked

    Its not that I didnt reply, its that I was putting in all the effort in making contact. Although it turned out she was hurting as much as i was, i think i should have held NC longer because although I kept my composure and acted like a friend and like I wasnt bothered, she constantly talked about this new guy and rubbed it in my face. She became extremely hurtful and was like aawwww when I got a bit upset. (Taking a power trip) Then whenever I was like ....hang on........you cheated on me and your now rubbing it in my face, why TF am i apologizing??? Its all your fault! --- She would turn into a bitch and throw it back in my face.

    Basically dont go sucking up because the power goes to their head and they get some sort of satisfaction out of destroying you, it validates their reason to cheat as you are emotionally insecure and so not a worthy mate. Act cool, she will test you with this bullsh1t however but remain composed, its normal and what they do.

    I think if i held out NC for longer, the pain and fear of loss would have ate away at her, she may have reinitiated contact and I could have regained the power position. Either way I screwed up. Hindsight hey.

  7. #7
    JustStartingOut is offline PUA in Training
    Points: 125, Level: 2
    Level completed: 50%, Points required for next Level: 25
    Overall activity: 68.2%
    Achievements:
    7 days registered100 Experience Points
    Join Date
    Apr 2013
    Posts
    45
    Points
    125
    Level
    2
    Thanks
    0
    Thanked 0 Times in 0 Posts
    Rep Power
    11

    Default Re: Need help with my ex situation, she showed interest but flaked

    Well man I totally get that and that's exactly what I did. I totally played it cool, I messaged her the other day cause she had gotten badly injured and she was quite happy to hear from me and we actually set up a date. She seemed really happy and excited for it. I tried not to show too much interest but I'd occasionally flirt a bit followed by a few negs which she responded quite well too. She ended up calling me and at the end she told me she loved me so I said it back. Basically she said she'd talk to me soon, so I don't want to come off as the same AFC I was before close to the end of the relationship and during the break up at the beginning because I have changed quite a bit from that I feel. I feel stronger, more manly in a way? All about small improvements I feel. It seems like she was being honest with me about things but I'm skeptic still. I'm trying not to engage too much. I'm unsure how to act when we do meet. I would like to game her and eventually repeat the process until she knows what she wants in other words maybe show her this is what she wants. Mind you, I told her I did not know what I wanted either. Could be interesting, just not sure how to approach the date.


Similar Threads

  1. Girl I know Showed up in my matches on OKC
    By houstoncrowe in forum Online And Text Game
    Replies: 3
    Last Thread: 01-17-2013, 07:09 PM
  2. If a girl shows some interest in me, should I show my interest in her, too?
    By jingfunny in forum Approaching, Running Sets & Building Attraction
    Replies: 2
    Last Thread: 11-19-2012, 09:12 PM
  3. Weird Situation, showed IOIs but has boyfriend
    By TheManSohan in forum General Questions
    Replies: 2
    Last Thread: 08-13-2012, 07:10 PM
  4. It was going well until ex-boyfriend showed up
    By setan in forum Online And Text Game
    Replies: 3
    Last Thread: 11-08-2011, 08:25 AM
  5. Did I get flaked on or what?
    By Keith2 in forum Online And Text Game
    Replies: 3
    Last Thread: 07-08-2010, 08:30 AM

Bookmarks

Posting Permissions

  • You may not post new threads
  • You may not post replies
  • You may not post attachments
  • You may not edit your posts
  •  
DMCA.com