Okay I know how it sounds but don't get me wrong. I'm not an a**hole so i don't want to sound like one.
The thing is we haven't contacted each other in 1 year!
-IMPORTANT- Long Distance Relationship
Just 3 months ago she mailed me asking how i am and i replied way too late ,and she told me she was in my country,and wanted to meet me but since i replied too slow she missed her chance. Not only did i break her heart and hopes with the break up ( she broke up with me but i admit it was mostly my fault) but i did it again. Now then I added her 1 month later, and she said she had hopes and it would have been perfect but she thought I didn't care so she gave up on love with me but not on me .I tried showing her that i care, but i overdid it ...and i was very beta and clingy. Things started nice...she was comfortable with me once again , we flirted , we chatted and even went as far as perverted chats, and she even invited me over her place this summer but told me not to get my hopes up. Just a week ago she told me she likes another guy and I was composed at the beginning ,but I lost it when she said she almost slept with him(she couldn't get hot and ran away) and she loves him.First she only likes him then she loves him but maybe it has something to do with my jealousy... so she's going to accept his marriage proposal after she finishes college in few years(they know each other for 6 months -_-). I got very jealous , but I didn't use any harsh words for her but i did for her new man (bad move) and we got in a kind of an argument again. I kinda pushed her away from me even more.
I am not going to get the story very long but really she has clearly moved on. She showed interest in me even if she only misses me as a friend or something like that. I apologized and told her I'm happy for her and then something happened. She said she wants me to be happy because she cares about me too much, and I'm way too important for her. After I told her I respect her decision to get married she said she actually finds it annoying and why is there a need to get married? But she won't tell him that. She said she was happy but to me it looks like she is very lonely. She spends her time in lots of studying and she says most of the time she's alone. Does it make sense? To be apart from someone you love so much? And I'm sure she spent more time with me in the past month than she spent with him.
But boy do i know how to push her hot buttons. I know I can make her scream just by touching her but she doesn't want to meet me because it seems like cheating. It doesn't make sense right? I mean we're only meeting unless she expects something else to happen?
Now the truth about me. I am a pathetic weakling of a man and i let her take power over me. I showed her that she can have me without even moving her finger and she probably lost all interest and respect for me.
I took 1 month of no contact now with her ( I just said I'm going somewhere and i don't know when i'm coming back). She clearly had me in her palms and it is my fault i admit. In this 1 month i was supposed to beat the sh*t out of my emotions and make them ask me before coming out by themselves again. The problem is I think of her all the time even when I'm out with friends and stuff like that.
Please note that we were in a long distance relationship and she and her man are NOT. He can clearly offer her the physical and emotional part of the real thing while I can only chat and make her hot from it. I don't want her to think she can have both my fun company and her man though. I'm not gonna drag her and force her to love me. I'm gonna make her CHANGE her mind about me and see me in a positive and new light that would make me a potential partner again.The thought of her coming back has to come from her not me.
Oh boy and did she give me the nice guy blowoff. ''You're too nice for me'' , ''I don't love you'' , ''We can never be together'' , ''Maybe in some other universe we are together'' and the classic ''I don't deserve you'' which is usually the other way around or she has problems with her self esteem and thinks i'll run away from her for another girl which isn't the case. Sorry darling but couples with worse situations than that have been coming together from YEARS of break up
If she really loves that man then that's fine with me but If i can make her happier I'm gonna try my best to bring her back so I came here for an advice to how I should move. Thanks in advance and please don't think of me like an as*hole who wants to steal another guys girlfriend. I'm going to get my girl back.
PS: Sorry for my grammar really.