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  1. #1
    xcalibar is offline PUA in Training
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    Default Ex just appeared outside my door drunk - 1 day since breakup

    Hey guys/ girls,

    I would like an opinon on this, my ex who broke up with me the morning before just appeared drunk saying that she missed me. When i asked her again what she is doing here she said again cuz she missed me. Anyway we ended up having sex, but before that she said " I am sorry i came, it wont happen again". Anyway even though i felt like sex and so we did it. It was clearly a booty call."

    I want to get back with her so this is really hard, im just going to push her out in the morning and tell her its nice that we can be friends, but not to just come over, she doesnt live with me anymore... at least those are my thoughts on it.

    I want her back, but i think she trying to use me to relieve her feelings.

    Thanks!

  2. #2
    xcalibar is offline PUA in Training
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    Default Re: Ex just appeared outside my door drunk - 1 day since breakup

    So, I took a different route then I originally intended.. I was on my laptop when she woke up and she sat next to me i was watching a video, she was then standing in front of me like waiting for me to say something but i didnt so she went to the bathroom and i went to iron.. she told me she was going to leave.. I said its a beautiful day outside.. she said it weird that i said that.. and i said it is... whilst I was ironing in a jolly mood to get my clothes ready for lunch.

    She then asked where her shoes were and walked away, i said i think you walked in with them in your hands.. she came running back asking what i had said.

    Was she expecting some different from me, did i play it well?

  3. #3
    HardRock is offline PUA Forums Respected Contributor
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    Default Re: Ex just appeared outside my door drunk - 1 day since breakup

    Dude she likes you.i wonder why she broke up with you and what ensued in your opinion .you may update this thread .

    i think the guy she had her mind on is either not attractive to her anymore, or she realized she wants you.either way you need to transition properly.

  4. #4
    xcalibar is offline PUA in Training
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    Default Re: Ex just appeared outside my door drunk - 1 day since breakup

    Thanks for the reply,

    So what do you suggest I do. I did as I said before and haven't contacted her since this morning, and she hasn't contacted me. Which I'm not surprised about. She was quite convinced about breaking up in the first place. I asked her if she is sure and she said yes.

  5. #5
    HardRock is offline PUA Forums Respected Contributor
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    Default Re: Ex just appeared outside my door drunk - 1 day since breakup

    you may do this call her and ask her why she really came.say something came up so you really want to be sure of something.you may memorize and practice to get into character if you will.

    whatever happens you may update.this is the first trigger.

  6. #6
    xcalibar is offline PUA in Training
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    Default Re: Ex just appeared outside my door drunk - 1 day since breakup

    I havent contacted her yet, Im waiting till Wednesday. I am scared it might be too soon and would push her away. i.e. empower her. I'm not sure what you mean by "say something came up so you really want to be sure of something."

  7. #7
    Learning The Ropes is offline PUA Forums Respected Contributor
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    Default Re: Ex just appeared outside my door drunk - 1 day since breakup

    Hey Xcalibur,

    Good name btw!

    A break-up doesn't happen overnight - normally it's a process whereby you disentangle from your ex over a period of time. This is just a temporary set-back or reprieve, depending on your point of view.

    Let me elaborate on that - if you want her back it's a reprieve but if you want to move on it's a setback.

    First the good news - if you want her back you are doing all the right things. You made her come to you and you are letting her know that you are not her puppet on a string. Keep this up no matter what - the emotions will kick in at some point but you need to fight them! Do not contact her! Make her come to you. If she doesn't, it's her loss and you get to retain your dignity and self-respect.

    Now the not-so-good news. Clearly there are reasons why she wanted to break-up and you need to try and get a handle on what these are. After 1 day, chances are these issues are still there. If her reasons involve another guy, her wanting a bit of space or her not knowing what she wants, do not walk away. Run! Because she will do this again if you let her.

    If she is really worth the effort then by all means, keep doing what you are doing and make her work to get you back. However, once she knows you are interested again, chances are she will pull this sh** again.

    So, by all means, be her FWB but protect yourself emotionally and make sure this is on your terms - not hers.

    Good man, well done and good luck.

  8. #8
    HardRock is offline PUA Forums Respected Contributor
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    Default Re: Ex just appeared outside my door drunk - 1 day since breakup

    First of all you need to start thinking of yourself this is a wake up call.you may start opening your options.
    there are a few reasons women may break up one is being too needy or coming off too strong most of the time.not saying you are guilty of any but yeah.
    you seem too invested in this girl.look she opened her option and she is now realizing she likes you.
    now she seems to be testing you to find whether you like her or not and the way you come across as is important.

    say something came up so you really want to be sure of something.
    time frame for this has kinda passed but theres still one thing you may do.
    this was to put the frame on her making her come out to say or agree to get back verbally if done well.especially if delivered in a neutral tone.

    It puts the focus back on you guys.she said she kinda missed you then so try inviting her over.no matter what you say don't be affected, imply she hurt you or anything.

  9. #9
    xcalibar is offline PUA in Training
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    Default Re: Ex just appeared outside my door drunk - 1 day since breakup

    I recently used the no contact technique and it worked, we got off last Friday, she said she really missed me and she also said this was a bad idea. We broke up because we were arguing a lot for no real reasons and she wanted to travel and find herself. And she went off to a party etc. I then got drunk that night and looked for her and found her. She was around her ex.. although they were just in a common group.

    Anyway i flipped out, asked to speak to her, and told her whats going on. She said nothing is going on, and we talked and she said she doesn't want anything and that is why she had said it was a bad idea...

    Anyway she was crying and saying i was the perfect boyfriend and it will be months before she gets over me. She was kissing me as well...

    I told her I have to move on, I said I cannot keep on being strung along like this and I want to move on. She said she doesn't want to know she cannot imagine me with someone else and she said I did nothing wrong in the relationship. She said that she needs to be single to figure things out for herself and live life and be lost and have to find her own way without her relying on her bf to guide her.

    This all happened when i put her on the spot. It was quite messed up and their were a lot of people around.Friend of hers, I was completely drunk and it was definatley uncalled for. I told her that we cannot be friends and she agreed. I then told her that if she ever is in trouble, wherever she is I will come for her no matter what. Remember I was drunk so emotions were high.

    Anyway I was thinking of apologizing for the way I acted.She had already told me that one thing she was annoyed at me about was that i made her cry in public a couple of times. i.e. we had an argument and she cried. She has been really angry since this happened. Not at me but with people.

    Do you guys think there is any hope left we were meant to meet tomorrow but obviously it cancelled we were meeting for wine something she wanted to do....

    Should I apologize for the way I jumped on her when she was out?

  10. #10
    HardRock is offline PUA Forums Respected Contributor
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    Default Re: Ex just appeared outside my door drunk - 1 day since breakup

    Should I apologize for the way I jumped on her when she was out?
    Nope, thats a bit dlv

    you really called her out and at some points she was attracted but then things went a bit off then high then kind of plateaued.

    I told her that we cannot be friends and she agreed.

    yep things went downhill at this point.i also noticed she gave you some reasons for her decisions don't buy that focus more on attraction.PEACE


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