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  1. #1
    crescentmoon2612 is offline Aspiring PUA
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    Default How do i move forward with my ex from here?

    Hey everyone I need some advice on how to move forward with my ex. I'll try and describe where Im at without being to lengthy first.
    Me and my ex were together for 3 and 1/2 years. I broke up with her last october. I know for a fact me and my ex were in love with each other theres no doubt in my mind. We had an amazing relationship but I had an extremely dysfunctional and complicated home life. At somepoint last summer things became so distraught in my life that I developed a mental disorder that reversed my personality type from extroverted to introverted. When I broke up with her I was in a very very bad place and I lost my will to live. I told her I needed time to work on my life and get it together and madness ensued. She fell apart and me already being in a terrible place it was very difficult not to bounce back and forth with her messing my life up more.

    Fast forward about 7 months and here I am still in love with this woman with my life put back together. I've managed to get in shape, excercise regularly, eat better, quit smoking, and move out of my terrible household. I've apologised to anyone whom I had falling outs with and mended a dozen broken friendships. I've done everything in my power to be the best me possible. Im trying everything in my power to get her back because honestly shes my soul mate and I cant imagine a future without her.

    So heres where I'm at right now. Me and my ex have been friends again for a solid month now after about a month of absolutely no contact. I see her about once a week to hang out and its been great so far. She tells me how proud she is of me and ive managed to make her blush a few times. She says that she wants to "see" the new me in action more before anything happens but I have a few questions that are plaguing me.


    1)She texts me everyday for the most part and its ussually very abrupt without talking about anything deep. When we hang out though we tend to have sex. Is this good or bad? Im not sure because I want her to have a good time but I dont need to have sex with her. Should I make it more mysterious by not having/avoiding sex? Should I have sex to keep it good? I dont want to be a friend with benefits forever especially when shes honestly my best friend.

    2)Second question, If we are texting each other and she freaks out about something I say what is the apropriate response in example this is something that happened recently. She was upset because she didnt put in the effort to read one of my texts in which i invited her to play a board game that i knew she would love. So I responded to her "no worries lazy butt" which is something that i have called her in the past. I didnt mean it in an insulting way it was just kind of a cute nickname that she normally wouldnt get upset over. She replied back saying "i dont need this night" and I responded back saying "that wasnt an insult..." and left it there.

    3)What is the apropriate response for when she gets upset at something like that? Should I just let her be upset and wait till she texts me next?
    Should I apologize? Should I not apologize? Should I Try to make up for it?

    4)What is the best response when she is clearly jealous of something I'm doing or someone I'm hanging out with? Lets say Im tagged in a picture with another girl friend of mine and she texts me clearly jealous what is the best reaction? Do I downplay it? Do I compliment her? Do I let her know we are just friends?

    5)Final question, How should I react when she says she misses me? In addition how should I react when she specifies something she misses about me for instance the other night she texted me "I miss when you used to take care of me when I was sick". I replied to her "i miss making you tea, you always said it was the best". Did I handle that right? Should i downplay what I miss? Should I not say anything I miss? Should I reassure her somehow? Whats the best way to respond?

    Thanks again for all the help everybody any advice you can give would be awesome.

  2. #2
    Learning The Ropes is offline PUA Forums Respected Contributor
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    Default Re: How do i move forward with my ex from here?

    Hey man.

    First of all, well done for getting to where you are now. You have obviously had some challenges to work through and it's great to hear you are doing so well.

    It's funny because you are posting on here despite having done what a lot of guys are trying to achieve i.e. get your ex back.

    I think you are doing great but try to stop over-analysing everything and worrying about little things like her taking a text the wrong way. This girl knows you really well and you know her really well and you clearly like each other a lot. Don't change who you are for anybody - if she misinterprets a text that is her problem - not yours.

    Take things slow. Treat this like a new start. Don't start (or expect) anything deep right now. You dumped her after 3.5 years so I would think she will be cagey about getting hurt again. She is contacting you because she likes you. So funny, be positive and have a bit of a laugh and some fun. If anything more serious is going to develop - she will let you know.

    Be yourself and if you get the feeling she is losing interest for whatever reason, do not chase under any circumstances. Letting her initiate contact is fine - you are not chasing her then - but the flipside to this is that she is controlling the communication most of the time. So be unpredictable - text her occasionally as well but don't over-think it if she doesn't respond. Just wait it out and be disciplined.

    You have nothing to worry about here bro - just relax and let things take their natural course, whatever that may be.

    Good luck.

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