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  1. #11
    HardRock is offline PUA Forums Respected Contributor
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    Default Re: farked up..is this salvagable or give up

    'Flash phone call' her and talk breifly in this dynamic.
    Simply state you thought of her earlier so you called, and that say you got to go do something.then may update here.

  2. #12
    raine is offline PUA in Training
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    Default Re: fucked up..is this salvagable or give up

    i no longer have her phone number so this is not possible, FB is the only method of contact at this point.

  3. #13
    HardRock is offline PUA Forums Respected Contributor
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    Default Re: farked up..is this salvagable or give up

    Use this:hey, met girl same smile even mannerisms..wnt believe what happened today
    here keep convo brief.you could even shoot for voice call if you perceive IOIs..

  4. #14
    aff219 is offline PUA in Training
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    Default Re: farked up..is this salvagable or give up

    just my advice here, im no expert on getting an ex back but I think I have some advice for you that can help.

    First off, details that I need to know to better cater to your issue:

    -how long were yall together
    -how long was the breakup
    -on a scale of 1-10 (10 being the highest), how angry do you think she was at her peak?
    -on a scale of 1-10 (10 being the highest), how angry do you think she is now?
    -on a scale of 1-10, how close were you two? Share every single piece of detail about yourself with one another or was there any distance?

    current suggestions for you:
    -first off, you need to truly understand and accept this piece of fact: She is 18 and you are 19. Both of you are still children and "who you are" is still being developed in the both of you. Because of that, more than likely you two will NOT be together forever. It could happen, but probably wont. Truly understanding that will help you in the event that you don't get her back.

    with that said, heres a few things I'd suggest:
    Try to get a good gauge over how angry she is at you now. If its below a 4 on a scale of 1-10, then you need to go no contact until you think shes calmed down (You can attempt a contact when you think she may have calmed down to gauge reaction) No one is really going to have an exact timeframe to do things because we don't know her personality. My ex went to 100% hate and was steamrolling me during every contact, I had to back off for about 3 months before the anger vanished and I could control anything.

    If you think she is no longer angry right now, figure out the last time you two talked, you want to wait at -least- 2 weeks, preferably 3, from the time you last spoke before making contact. This is to build up a little bit of missing you in her, and help her "forget the bad stuff". Trust me, it works, I don't really know how but my ex's anger just up and vanished one day, she had to contact me and tell me how much she still cares etc (Though it didnt lead to getting her back yet, its a great step in the right direction)

    the actual contact: Since you don't have her phone number you should contact her through whatever means of communication you two normally shared (besides phone) when together. If she talked to you via FB for example, send her a message when shes online.

    She added you back to these various things, as you said that means shes thinknig about you and some part of her is missing you. Use that to your advantage.

    The first thing I would do is give a simple hi when I see her online. Tell her something made you think of her (previous poster said to say you met a girl that reminded you of her, that sounds like a good one honestly) and you wanted to just say hello, but felt you needed to clear the air about something: "I didn't do what ____ said, I never cheated on you." You can obviously change it a bit if you like, but the point is to be short and to the point, then just quickly change the subject. You dont want to dwell on any of the bad stuff, and after you clear that bit you don't want to mention anything about you two's relationship unless -she- brings it up.

    Change the topic by asking her how shes been, exchange words for 10-15 minutes, just be casual, no lovey lovey, no beg, no plead, no i miss you, just have a routine conversation and be upbeat.

    After 10-15 minutes, gracefully bow out, say it was good talking to you and im glad we can be civil with each other, etc etc.

    From there, go no contact for a week or two again. Be online in various forums, post various things on fb and instigram and whatever else shes watching with you, and for example with fb always be online, that little green dot will drive her mad wanting to talk to you, and more than likely she'll reach out for more.

  5. #15
    raine is offline PUA in Training
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    Default Re: farked up..is this salvagable or give up

    8 months together
    8 months breakup NC period ( while she had a rebound boyfriend that she just dumped because he was needy and super clingy)

    at her peak, 6
    right now probably 0 ( i just posted a picture and she liked it and it was similar to something she posted the other day, after that she said " great minds think alike " on her fb

    8-9 on the closeness, we were pretty close.

    i understand that we most likely won't be together forever, but for the time being i'd like to work with what i got.

    thank you for all the advice i'll let you know how it turns out!

  6. #16
    aff219 is offline PUA in Training
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    Default Re: farked up..is this salvagable or give up

    everything sounds like its going very well then. if shes liking your comments and winking at you and being nice and shes single, especially after 8 months of being apart, shes obviously thinking positively about you and wanting to interact.

    she resparked a flame for you inside herself, you just need to slowly fan it. don't scare her off but build up interaction, get her comfortible to talk with you, laugh and joke and play around (DO NOT FLIRT AT FIRST), look cool, confident, dominant, and make sure to display anything she didn't like about you has changed (and change it for real)

    make sure to clear up that little tidbit of a lie that the guy said but only when the time is right. if shes already establishing interaction with you you don't need to bring it up, wait until things are comfortible and yall start to reminisce and talk about how things went. until then just play smooth game

    sounds to me like a prime opportunity my friend

  7. #17
    raine is offline PUA in Training
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    Default Re: farked up..is this salvagable or give up

    Quote Originally Posted by aff219 View Post
    everything sounds like its going very well then. if shes liking your comments and winking at you and being nice and shes single, especially after 8 months of being apart, shes obviously thinking positively about you and wanting to interact.

    she resparked a flame for you inside herself, you just need to slowly fan it. don't scare her off but build up interaction, get her comfortible to talk with you, laugh and joke and play around (DO NOT FLIRT AT FIRST), look cool, confident, dominant, and make sure to display anything she didn't like about you has changed (and change it for real)

    make sure to clear up that little tidbit of a lie that the guy said but only when the time is right. if shes already establishing interaction with you you don't need to bring it up, wait until things are comfortible and yall start to reminisce and talk about how things went. until then just play smooth game

    sounds to me like a prime opportunity my friend
    well she didn't wink AT me per se...she posted her own status that said that, it wasn't on mine...close enough though, and yeah i'm gonna give it my best shot !

  8. #18
    HardRock is offline PUA Forums Respected Contributor
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    Default Re: farked up..is this salvagable or give up

    Girl likes you...either ways avoid overgaming too much etc..

  9. #19
    raine is offline PUA in Training
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    Default Re: farked up..is this salvagable or give up

    UPDATE

    I didn't even need to contact my ex, as she added me on snapchat last night and this morning she snap chatted me a picture of herself saying " heyyy"

    we snapped back and fourth for a while including pictures of my car while i was working on it and she comes back with " damn i miss that car.."

    not sure if thats a good sign or not but i guess its something

    anyways i decided not to invest myself too much so i stopped after about 30 minutes.

    things are going pretty good so far...i'll probably ask for her new number sometime soon. As always any more advice is appreciated.

  10. #20
    HardRock is offline PUA Forums Respected Contributor
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    Default Re: farked up..is this salvagable or give up

    Dude first of all stop snap chatting pics and move things ahead.ask her out.interest initially is nothing if not honed properly in this dyn.in a nutshell invite her over to check something you did with car or other.


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