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  1. #1
    MikeW is offline Aspiring PUA
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    Default 3,5 years of LTR has ended - What should I do to get HER back?

    Hey guys.

    Found this forum/thread through surfing on Google. I'm not sure how active this board is anymore, but I'll give you my story (it's actually not ended, so I need some advice/help).

    Before I go on, I want to thank every single guy/girl on this forum because I have read it a lot in the past few days.

    So lets start:

    I was just dumped after 3,5 years of serious dating. We had extremely bad issues after 2 years of being together. We both slipped and cheated. She cried, I cried - sh1t happens.. She was cold to me several months (6?), but then things started to cool down and I was really happy. She really loved me, she didn't party anymore we were together all the time etc.

    However, at somepoint I somehow let myself down (didnt work much, couldn't give any gifts, just hangount). In short I was ignoring her. I forgot all those tiny "little" things that make my girl go crazy about me and I didn't put much effort in our relationship for the past 6 months. I always thought that we will be together forever - how immature

    Suddenly she started to ignore me too and I knew that I have ****ed this up. I quickly tried to get her back by saying stupid things and begging (I believe many of us have done this) and she broke up with me and said she needs some time.

    She is now dating with another guy (who was her friend at some point) who is doing everything she wants etc and I believe she is quite happy right now. BUT she didn't admit that there is anything serious with this guy. I know that they guy wants to get in relationship with my ex and already changed his FB statuses and stuff, but my GF haven't done a single thing. So I think she is still has some doubts about this whole thing and she might need some extra time to get things clear.

    However, I'm extremely depressed and don't know what to do next. I have ignored her 7 days now without calling/txting/messaging...

    After she brokeup I asked "Whats up?", "Is is the REAL end?" and she wasn't 100% sure that we will be back together or not (need time, space bla bla) so I begged few days and finally answered "Alright, this is what you want, this is what you get. I'm not willing to wait for you or wait until your rebound relationships is ending etc.."

    As I stated above, 7 days have past and I haven't done a single call/message. I believe this is the first time in the past 3,5 years I haven't been in contact with her for so long time (crazy uh?).

    She blocked me at first on the FB because I was crying all over the place. After few days she unblocked me. On the 5th day she asked me how to use a certain coupon which I gave her few weeks back. - I didn't answer.

    I believe she still misses me a bit, but I'm not 100% sure that she will contact me again.

    I think she is slightly slipping away and there's nothing I can do besides NC.

    However, ONE thing I have learned during this relationship is that she is EXTREMELY jealous for me seeing other girls. She went always nuts about it. So, I DONT KNOW IF SHE STILL CARES ABOUT ME seeing other girls, but I thought I would give a shot. She even goes nuts when her ex-ex meets new gf. She goes depressed & sad eventhough I know she doesn't have any feelings for the ex-ex which was WAY too long ago.

    See, I know one girl for a long time (we are just friends, we don't "love" eachother and wont do that in future either). I thought that maybe I will use her to show my girlfriend that I'm trying to move on?

    I bet she goes nuts about it - I'll try to show her that randomly so she couldn't understand that it's made on purpose. I'm not using FB to put some random pictures of me kissing girls or some crazy statuses, I'll just walk past her work with my girl"friend" and make sure she sees it.

    I think this is my last chance, and I'll probably do it on the 10th day of NC. I have got nothing to loose. If she doesn't care well OK, I understand and I can FINALLY start moving on... but before that I just have to hope it works.

    Maybe it's early, maybe I should wait. I don't know, but I know I want her back & can't stop thinking about her.

    I'm struggling but I'm following your methods (ignoring).

    Just some random facts that may help you to help ME:

    • I'm 21, she is 19
    • We will both start seeing eachother in university next month
    • We always talked about our life and how we grow older etc, it's was our first love.
    • She is dating another guy who is obsessed with her, but I'm not 100% sure that she has managed to move on such quickly.
    • I'm depressed and farked up. I'm partying hard, seeing new girls and trying to move on, but my heart stops my brain and I keep thinking about her all the time.

    So what are your suggestions/recommendations?


  2. #2
    Rod27 is offline PUA in Training
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    Start with light friendly contact. Then see how she reacts. If she doesn't.....don't sweat it because you will see her in person on campus and will have more chances.

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