I am really stuck right now and farking no idea what to do.
Let me explain my situation. Its quite long but i am glad if you can read and make a comment.
I had a girlfriend from February of 2012, we started to date and things were really well. And we both change cities and moved to one and we started to live together from August of 2012. And my behaviors started to change, because of some stupid financial and family problems.
From January of 2013, i started to act weird to her, i didnt share anything, i just made her to stay away from me. 3 months later, i realised that i am doing something wrong, i told her that i am gonna change myself, and i tried for it. But like 1 month later, she had a kiss issue with her ex (like April of 2013) and after that time, i started to hate her, i said her to stay away from me and acted like a bitch.
She tried so hard to get me back, like 3 months she kept sending me sms and other stuffs but my reaction was always same. Till the end of July.
I saw her in a club with a guy (like 20 days ago from now) and when i saw her, she just came near me and tried to explain the situation, like she met with this guy on that day, and she is hanging out with him just to forget me. And i said her to fark off and left. And later she sent me an SMS which says "i just did it to forget you".
After that time, i saw her in somewhere else, she came near me and tried to talk, she said that she wants to be friend with me but i said "I dont want to stay as a friend and i dont want to talk with you anymore.) And just left that place.
But after two days from that day (like 5th of August 2013) i saw her again and we had a small conversation about past which i said her mistakes and she said mines. I waited her till her shifts ends and we walked together and she came to my place. (Btw i forgot to tell you that from the end of July till 5th of August she saw me with different 2 girls when i was making out with them).
In my place nothing happened, we just talked and we slept seperately. And then the next day i sent her a message on Facebook that i can not do this because i still love her and cant stand to stay away from her, and i dont want to be her friend or etc. Please lets dont see each other again. She responded smilar way and we agreed, i deleted her on facebook and deleted all of her contacts from my phone and anywhere else. But there is only one thing that i am sure of is i still love her so badly and i want to be with her.
Thats why i thought like 1 week and decided to do something. Yesterday night i called her at night (she was coming from her hometown) and told her that i want to meet with her and talk with her. First she said that we can talk tomorrow but i said no, right now and at the end she accepted. She said OK but she was at her new boyfriends home, she had a luggage because she was coming from home and i knew that. When i got there, i told her to get her lugguage and take it from there and come with it but she refused it.
Anyway, at the end i said ok dont take and we came to my place. I opened up myself to her, told her that how i love her and promised her that i changed, i was wrong whole the time and i want her back. She listened me till the end, but at the end she said she also want this but she wont do this. She said we should be with other people, i should find someone else and she also should find someone else. And whole that time, her boyfriend was calling her and asks her if everything is OK or not. That made me crazy, i started to say how i love her but she decided to go. I didnt want her to go, i tried to stop her, said her that i love her, but she wanted. And after that i started to act very pathetic, i cried, begged her not to go, felt down on my knees and begged her, but she just left. (We had the same situtation like 2 months ago, but on that time, she begged me not to go, she cried but i refused it)
Later i called her and said sorry about yesterday, i acted weird and we can move on separately. On that night she called me again, she said she wants to come to my place, i said ok and she came. We didnt talk about what happened, and i went to sleep. She came near me and we had sex. It was really good and in the morning, we had sex again. We were like how were were in the past. And she went to her job, i went mine.
i didnt call her like 2 days, neither she does. And after 2 days i went to the club where she is working with some friends and i saw her, and started to tell what is going on ? What are we now ? And she acted negatively like we will never be together, we just had sex and that's it. I am doing this just because she has a bf and so on. I said ok and left that place, just after 20 mint. she called me and told me that she finished her job and want to come with me to my place. I said ok, she came and we just slept together, nothing happened. And next day she left.
And yesterday, she called me again and told me that she wants to come to my place, but i said no i am not at home and i am in another city.
We are still friends on facebook and i didnt delete her. But right now, i am stuck, i think right now i am in the stage "Death's Door" but i dont know what to do.
Please help me, i am so hopeless, helpless..
Tell me what do to and how to do. I am ready to do anything which is necessary.
Thanks to all for reading that stupid and desperate situation.