Top 10 Stats
Latest Posts Loading... Loading...
Loading...
Loading...
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
Loading...
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 

Page 1 of 2 12 LastLast
Results 1 to 10 of 16
  1. #1
    jdcrow2032 is offline Aspiring PUA
    Points: 152, Level: 3
    Level completed: 4%, Points required for next Level: 48
    Overall activity: 0%
    Achievements:
    100 Experience Points31 days registered
    Join Date
    Dec 2012
    Location
    Arlington, TX
    Posts
    26
    Points
    152
    Level
    3
    Thanks
    0
    Thanked 0 Times in 0 Posts
    Rep Power
    9

    Default thinking about contacting ex.

    First off, I am not sure if I am going to contact my ex, yet. Backstory: 2 year relationship ended. I broke up with her because of trust issues. This was followed by on and off no contact/ contact for about seven months and me being beta a few times (regretfully). When contact would happen it would usually end up in a fight due to me not having my shit together, I know eight months is a long time, sue me.

    She strung me along and started seeing a new guy all the while she was telling me that she wanted to work things out with me. Anyway I have been in no contact with her for 2 months. Last we talked we had decided to just be friends and I wished her well with her new boyfriend and all that jazz. There was a fight involving her picking up her sh1t from my house, she said she wanted it... I gave her a window of opportunity, she didn't pick it up so I threw it out. She got mad... Not my problem.

    Question is, I am not sure I want to lose this person from my life as stupid as it sounds, and after a while of being able to collect myself I find that it might be okay to contact her in a few months... Problem being, she moved in with her new boyfriend and from what I can tell they seem happy. Not sure if I want her back or not, not sure if I just want to be friends. But, how is the best way to go about contacting her in the future? I figure I should give her at least three months of living with her boyfriend before she is comfortable talking to me and whatever. Any thoughts?

  2. #2
    falecomnetto is offline Aspiring PUA
    Points: 118, Level: 2
    Level completed: 36%, Points required for next Level: 32
    Overall activity: 33.3%
    Achievements:
    100 Experience Points
    Join Date
    Aug 2013
    Posts
    13
    Points
    118
    Level
    2
    Thanks
    0
    Thanked 0 Times in 0 Posts
    Rep Power
    10

    Default Re: thinking about contacting ex.

    The best advice I've ever read. And I'm giving it to you.

    GET YOUR SHIT TOGETHER.

    Go out, f**k other women, work out, get a new job. Do something with your life. Something for you. That will change you. This will take at least 2 to 3 months.

    Then, and only then, reengage contact with her. If she sees you the same way she left you, there is no hope. But if you come across as a New You, that may spark some feelings on her...
    You know it is impossible to befriend, she knows it. Everybody knows it. So don't try to illude yourself, you fall into the "friendzone" you are not going to be her friend, nor her lover, just another orbiter, that she likes to keep around her!

    Good Luck!

  3. #3
    jdcrow2032 is offline Aspiring PUA
    Points: 152, Level: 3
    Level completed: 4%, Points required for next Level: 48
    Overall activity: 0%
    Achievements:
    100 Experience Points31 days registered
    Join Date
    Dec 2012
    Location
    Arlington, TX
    Posts
    26
    Points
    152
    Level
    3
    Thanks
    0
    Thanked 0 Times in 0 Posts
    Rep Power
    9

    Default Re: thinking about contacting ex.

    I never thought about it like that. The orbiter thing... Thats very true. I really wanted to know when the best time (now that she has moved in with a boyfriend) would be to contact. This all could very well be hopeless and I think at this point I wouldn't be to disappointed to find out if that were the case. By the time I am ready to contact, who knows?

  4. #4
    falecomnetto is offline Aspiring PUA
    Points: 118, Level: 2
    Level completed: 36%, Points required for next Level: 32
    Overall activity: 33.3%
    Achievements:
    100 Experience Points
    Join Date
    Aug 2013
    Posts
    13
    Points
    118
    Level
    2
    Thanks
    0
    Thanked 0 Times in 0 Posts
    Rep Power
    10

    Default Re: thinking about contacting ex.

    As I said.

    Two or Three Months. Do some sh*t with your life.

    Just one change is enough. in fact if there are lots of changes, it would be difficult for her to understand. So stick with ONE BIG CHANGE.

    F**K other women, to refresh your sex vibe.

    Then Break No Contact.

  5. #5
    jdcrow2032 is offline Aspiring PUA
    Points: 152, Level: 3
    Level completed: 4%, Points required for next Level: 48
    Overall activity: 0%
    Achievements:
    100 Experience Points31 days registered
    Join Date
    Dec 2012
    Location
    Arlington, TX
    Posts
    26
    Points
    152
    Level
    3
    Thanks
    0
    Thanked 0 Times in 0 Posts
    Rep Power
    9

    Default Re: thinking about contacting ex.

    Right, see I have been doing that. This may be a stupid question and I promise it is my last. Would a new hobby be a considered a change? I have worked on my personality (anger and outlook on relationships)... but I have a new talent as well. I started spinning poi. If you are not sure what that is, it is that hawaiin thing where they spin fire and stuff. This is a really dumb question and I feel stupid for asking it. lol

  6. #6
    HardRock is offline PUA Forums Respected Contributor
    Points: 11,383, Level: 70
    Level completed: 34%, Points required for next Level: 267
    Overall activity: 60.0%
    Achievements:
    7 days registered10000 Experience PointsSocial
    Join Date
    Mar 2013
    Posts
    1,000
    Points
    11,383
    Level
    70
    Thanks
    0
    Thanked 0 Times in 0 Posts
    Rep Power
    518

    Default Re: thinking about contacting ex.

    it depends on what you think you did or what you saw in the relationship that caused the break.if you broke up then no contact might not be needed.

  7. #7
    falecomnetto is offline Aspiring PUA
    Points: 118, Level: 2
    Level completed: 36%, Points required for next Level: 32
    Overall activity: 33.3%
    Achievements:
    100 Experience Points
    Join Date
    Aug 2013
    Posts
    13
    Points
    118
    Level
    2
    Thanks
    0
    Thanked 0 Times in 0 Posts
    Rep Power
    10

    Default Re: thinking about contacting ex.

    Quote Originally Posted by HardRock View Post
    it depends on what you think you did or what you saw in the relationship that caused the break.if you broke up then no contact might not be needed.
    I don't agree.

    You will never see the grass growing if you keep staring at it. She'll never notice any major changes on him, if he is always there. The Tao of Steve man. BE GONE. Specially in this case, where there is another dude.

    You've got to get angry man. To get pumped up. Go out, hit the gym, keep posting pics of you having fun with other women on facebook, live your life without her. If you chased her so much, she'll notice that you've stoped.

    About the Hobbie, I do believe that a hobby is a change, but think it with and tell me if I'm wrong. Do you think that spinning fire like a samoan Jester will make her fell more attracted to you? If it is not even the slightest congruent to her reallity (i.e. She's a hipster of some kind) I strongly believe that is not going to be attractive at all. In fact, I think it goes the opposite direction. You will look like a fool. A fire spinning fool.

    Think it more this way. What is her reality? What are her Life Goals? What do you know that is appealing to her?

    In my case, my ex is daughter of two artists, and they were always too careless about the real life. So she wants to be responsible, independent, to prove them wrong. I followed this lead.

    I have a band, which she kind likes, 'cause after all she grew up in this world, but when I was with her it became my priority, and she saw her parents in me, which drove her away.

    I still have the band, but it is on second plan, she knew it, and she was blooming happy about it. Now I'm focused on my carreer, on growing up.

    If you want to have a hobby that is fine. But have one that make you look like a man, not a kid that like's to play with fire! Seriously, I don't even know how you considered this and Idea. While you are playing with fire, the other guy is liveing with her, paying the bills, and doind the F**king dishes, in a very manly and attractive way.

    Seriously, she has another one. You've got to go and grow. And Please, when you show up, in 3 to 6 months, act like an adult, and stop the f**king fights. It will only show that you are a baby brat.

    Read this wisely. Read it over. Come back in 6 months and tell how is it going.

    C'ya!

  8. #8
    HardRock is offline PUA Forums Respected Contributor
    Points: 11,383, Level: 70
    Level completed: 34%, Points required for next Level: 267
    Overall activity: 60.0%
    Achievements:
    7 days registered10000 Experience PointsSocial
    Join Date
    Mar 2013
    Posts
    1,000
    Points
    11,383
    Level
    70
    Thanks
    0
    Thanked 0 Times in 0 Posts
    Rep Power
    518

    Default Re: thinking about contacting ex.

    Personally i think no contact has been exploited already.there are some dynamics that dont need that.am thinking does he want to get in. or just be friends..a way to contact her.you may provide a clear query of what you really want.this could be salvageable.i got my one itis back when i reached out to her.no workout necessary.etc.

  9. #9
    jdcrow2032 is offline Aspiring PUA
    Points: 152, Level: 3
    Level completed: 4%, Points required for next Level: 48
    Overall activity: 0%
    Achievements:
    100 Experience Points31 days registered
    Join Date
    Dec 2012
    Location
    Arlington, TX
    Posts
    26
    Points
    152
    Level
    3
    Thanks
    0
    Thanked 0 Times in 0 Posts
    Rep Power
    9

    Default Re: thinking about contacting ex.

    In a perfect world, would like to steal her back from the guy she moved in with. At the same time, the longer I go no contact the more that feeling shrinks. I do miss her, tough. The question I am trying to ask is how long should I wait since she just moved in with her new boyfriend. I do not want to contact her while she is still in a honeymoon stage with him. I am not sure if I explained all of this correctly or not.

  10. #10
    falecomnetto is offline Aspiring PUA
    Points: 118, Level: 2
    Level completed: 36%, Points required for next Level: 32
    Overall activity: 33.3%
    Achievements:
    100 Experience Points
    Join Date
    Aug 2013
    Posts
    13
    Points
    118
    Level
    2
    Thanks
    0
    Thanked 0 Times in 0 Posts
    Rep Power
    10

    Default Re: thinking about contacting ex.

    Yeah, NC is a double edge technique, but I'm not saying the classic NC people who don't know shit advise, like, leave her if its meant to be she'll be back...

    I'm just saying to back off for a little while, I know how much it Hurts. If you guys haven't figure this out yet, I'm also trying to get back with my ex.

    It's hard as f**k, and it takes some time. I do know you want to be with her, and be happy all over again. It's normal.

    What i'm saying, and seriously, I will not say it again, is, GIVE HER SOME F**KING SPACE. She may be with another dude? Yes. But trust me., It's REBOUND. She'sw trying to fill the void inside her. She may be a coldless bit*h for ditching you. But believe me. She's is not Ok as well. She do miss you, and she is using this dude to fill this gap.

    She asked for space. Give her. The number one thing that is not atractive is the ex that is always hanging around.

    This guy may fill some physical space, but he is not you. I understand the process in your mind telling yourself that you lost, and all this negative bullcrap. This is what is sabotaging you.

    Go do your sh*t. Some decent sh*t. Please, don't go with this spining fire sh*t, unless it is your life passion.

    The wound is still raw, for you and her. You have to recompose. She as well. For when you reinitiate contact with her, you both can have a good time, and enjoy each other's company without pressure. Do you really think she'll take you back if you are a little pussy that can't move on with your life 'cause you lost your toy. C'mon man. Stop thinking emotionally. Use your reason, and leave the emotional stuff for her. The Woman... Which is your role at this time being

    I miss mine, I can barely sleep, and I think about her 24/7. But for her, I'm having a great time, I'm doing some excinting new stuff, I'm happy. I'm living my life.

    And this is what you have to do. As I said earlier, you cannot see the grass growing if you keep staring at it!

    In my case, I stood 2 months in NC. I guess it is a reasonable time for the wound heal on you both, for you to do some usefull stuff with your life, i.e. stop being a beta and specially for you to leverage the feelings she still hold for you.

    I'm not saying a year, 'cause I don't know if that conveys anything positive, and it just let her feeling become a memory.

    I'm saying TWO F**KING MONTHS. Get your Sh*t together man. Being a pussy WILL NOT bring her back.


Page 1 of 2 12 LastLast

Similar Threads

  1. Contacting a Girl You Haven't Spoken To Recently?
    By Slybootsucci in forum General Questions
    Replies: 9
    Last Thread: 08-02-2013, 04:54 PM
  2. What is my ex thinking?
    By randomhero411 in forum How To Get Your Ex Back
    Replies: 11
    Last Thread: 11-12-2012, 06:18 PM
  3. Need some urgent advice about ex contacting me
    By GoatMcGoaterson in forum How To Get Your Ex Back
    Replies: 3
    Last Thread: 09-07-2012, 04:31 PM
  4. Thinking about an ex
    By Slip-In in forum How To Get Your Ex Back
    Replies: 6
    Last Thread: 10-26-2011, 01:51 AM
  5. Need some advice regarding contacting my ex girlfriend
    By danguy in forum General Questions
    Replies: 0
    Last Thread: 07-21-2011, 03:30 PM

Bookmarks

Posting Permissions

  • You may not post new threads
  • You may not post replies
  • You may not post attachments
  • You may not edit your posts
  •  
DMCA.com