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  • 1 Post By Learning The Ropes

Thread: She sent me this... Help?

  1. #1
    testin is offline Aspiring PUA
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    Default She sent me this... Help?

    Didn't see this one coming... Went out on a day 2 and heavy Kino + k-closed during date and she even kissed me a good night.. She seemed interested all night but two days later I text her and ask her if she is busy tomorrow night and she sends me this:

    "Listen your a really nice guy and any girl would be lucky to have you but i don't think we would work out"

    I reply saying basically that its fair, i was just trying to be nice because you've been hurt before so i probably came off as boring and wasnt really myself... i also said how i respected that she was straight up with me... then she sends this:

    "Not to sound like a cliche, but honestly its me. I thought i was ready to move on & i realized it that night that im not. your the first guy i've been on a date with or even talked to since i've been single. Your not boring at all lol, you have everything going for you i really wish i was at that place but im just not. Thank you for understanding. I think your such a nice guy, not the typical douche bag so i needed to be upfront and not lead you on"

    Not sure how she sees me as a nice guy because I laid my game proper, heavy eye contact, kino'd, kissed her during the date and showed a lot of confidence...

    Anyway after that long text she sent, I acted like it wasn't a big deal and said "Oh ok, no hard feelings. It was nice meting you"

    She seems genuine and actually emotionally out of it, I knew she had a bad breakup with her ex and she isn't over him... So for now I am going to man up and move on... But I still want to keep the door open incase she gets her sh1t together, do I just break contact and hit her up in the future or do I stay friendly or what? I don't see this girl outside my usual routine...

    ALSO: the date was first dinner then was suppose to be us two meeting up with her friend and her "bf", apparently the guy bailed on her and her friend third wheeled all night... I knew I was farked because this girl would just get jealous, so i tried to get the friend to like me and i think i failed... I made out with the girl while we were dancing (this was at a lounge/club) and it was basically in front of her friend, i think it was a bad move... she also tried making things awkward between us, then at the end of the night probably said things about me after I dropped my date and her friend off...

    Basically I'm asking, is my chances with her over for sure? How can I keep the door open? I thought she genuinely liked me but I really don't know now. Is she just being nice or is she being genuine and actually can't get over her ex?? I mean I crept on her twitter couple weeks back and she did post something about her having a dream of her ex and how she is still not over him... Mind you this was couple days after our first date in which she tweeted "ahh just went out on a date, kinda like this guy!"

    I decided not to creep on her otherwise i'd get crazy about her so i haven't checked her twitter or anything since.

  2. #2
    Learning The Ropes is offline PUA Forums Respected Contributor
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    Default Re: She sent me this... Help?

    Hey man.

    Whether this is a Sh1t Test or she is genuinely not over her ex doesn't matter because your only option is to go NC.

    Walk away with your self-respect intact and she will realise that she is not dealing with a little boy. And you are doing the right thing by not following her on any social media websites - that will just hold you back.

    Now I bet that she will be back in touch but be careful that she isn't using you as some sort of ego boost while trying to get her ex back or get over him. You are way too good for that bro.

    Peace.

  3. #3
    testin is offline Aspiring PUA
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    Default Re: She sent me this... Help?

    Quote Originally Posted by Learning The Ropes View Post
    Hey man.

    Whether this is a Sh1t Test or she is genuinely not over her ex doesn't matter because your only option is to go NC.

    Walk away with your self-respect intact and she will realise that she is not dealing with a little boy. And you are doing the right thing by not following her on any social media websites - that will just hold you back.

    Now I bet that she will be back in touch but be careful that she isn't using you as some sort of ego boost while trying to get her ex back or get over him. You are way too good for that bro.

    Peace.
    Thanks man, that helps... Assuming I still like her in a couple months and she doesn't get in touch with me, should I still pursue even after the 'rejection'?

  4. #4
    Learning The Ropes is offline PUA Forums Respected Contributor
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    Default Re: She sent me this... Help?

    Hey man.

    Maintaining NC will do two things 1) it will give her space - if she isn't over her ex it will save you from getting hurt and/or used to feed her ego 2) it will show her you are a real man and she will respect the way you handled things. So, for now, it is your only option.

    My experience is that they always come back in some way. Sometimes though they just put the feelers out to see if you are still available, get their ego boost and disappear. Others start fights and some are more up-front and suggest trying again.

    Ok, so lets say you maintain NC for a few months and you haven't heard from her (highly unlikely!) but still like her. As things have been left amicably, there is nothing wrong with texting/calling her in a few months just to say hello and hope she is doing well. The suggestions on here about saying you were somewhere or saw someone that reminded you about her is a good way to do this. But between then and now you need to rebuild your confidence.

    I am looking forward already to your next post when she gets back in touch...

    Good luck bro.

  5. #5
    testin is offline Aspiring PUA
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    Default Re: She sent me this... Help?

    So it's been just over two months and I still haven't heard a word from her... She posted a pic on instagram the other day and damn she looked amazing as usual... I am definitely not over her, and I also noticed new guys liking her pics and shit... I don't know if she has dated anyone since me or not but I feel like this girl is slipping away... If she had any bit of interest I'm sure she would have contacted me by now... Did my last text to her....

    "Oh ok, no hard feelings... Nice meeting you"

    ...come off as rude since she opened up and sent me a long text and I kinda just ended the convo and basically said goodbye?

    I got over 5 girls right now that are very willing to go out with me but I feel all fucked up and stuck on the last two girls I dated... Not really interested in anyone else and it's kinda killing me... I was doing perfectly fine till I saw her post a pic and I got curious and snooped around...

    I would love to get another shot with this girl... is staying NC really the best option? I know NC works if it was a long term dating thing but it was only two dates... Really need some advice or a kick in the ass right now I feel so needy/pathetic.. smh

  6. #6
    Hotel Yorba is offline PUA Forums Respected Contributor
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    Default Re: She sent me this... Help?

    Well done on staying NC for two months. That being said you can contact her with something very lighthearted and friendly. Shoot her a text or whatever with something like "Hey I just saw a girl who could seriously be your identical twin!" Or one of my personal favorites is inviting her to a party or big social event. Even if there isn't really a party it breaks the no contact and also shows you're social and like to have fun. In the conversation you want to imply you've been having a great time and that she's been missing out on the awesomenss that is you. Be sure to load up your Instagram or whatever social site you're friends with her on with lots of pics of you and your friends. A little jealousy goes a long long way and it makes you look more appealing.

  7. #7
    testin is offline Aspiring PUA
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    Default Re: She sent me this... Help?

    Just an update...

    She still hasn't contact me, and I haven't bothered either. So it's been over 3 months of NC... I have other options, and one of those girls blows this one out the water...
    I saw her twitter recently and she mentioned being on a bad date so i know she is dating again... she also daily posts things about how she sees all her friends in cute relationships and doesnt know whats wrong with her... also some tweets, possibly about the ex... so this girl definitely got some low self esteem and seems a little desperate...
    She has liked a couple of my photos on instagram recently when she went months without liking anything... just want your guys opinion on what i should do?
    i dont think she will initiate but seems like she is close to doing so if ever... i hate to be the one to initiate because im the one that got "rejected" but it did end on a good note...

    i know she still has shit to deal with but dating multiple women will only help me be in the more "i dont give a fuck" mode so itll help me with all the girls, especially the one im really interested in... thoughts?


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