Hi , sry for so-so english in advance
I am seeking some advice for a tricky situation I find myself into with my GF of 2 + years.
Here is the discution that I started on another discussion started on another forum . I only got answer from 1 guy who made me do a mistake by not going No contact with her right away. Now she has all the power and would need help from what is to come.
Hi PUA community , Sry for the english in advance it is not my first language.
I urgently need help with my girlfriend of 2 + years.
First off let me tell you a little bit of background info .
3.5 years ago I crashed really bad with cfs (chronic fatigue syndrome): unable to work physically in my business, major health issues etc .. Not a good place to be in.
I met this girl who I use to know from when I was young we were neigbours. We fell in love ...
Let me tell you that i naturally do alot of the PUA stuff because it works ; teasing being alpha etc.
She fell madly in love with me everything was going well except I was not recovering my health has fast has I should. I had many stressor with my business and familly so my health was pretty much up and down. I guess i took her for granted and started doing the opposite of what I did when we start dating. I became more needy ... I was complaining all the time etc.. At some point I was not even sure I would like to date her after I recover and had a talk with her about how when I heal I would not know what I would want from life and that I had unresolved issues with past relationship. She got really hurt and cried begged me not to leave her or throw her away.
I made a big mistake.
Ever since then things when up and down and she eventually told me that she felt really hurt by the fact that I was not sure if we would stay together and that she might not be able to stay with me . After that talk we got together again and everything was going better then ever. I was even thinking about proposing to her. Last weekend we got into a series of small arguments (over very minor and stupid stuff) and she left home to go to some familly member. She wrote me a big letter saying that she did not know what she wanted from life and felt that she could never satisfy me ... she felt burned out and confuse. Last night we met and talked about it and she asked for a break she started to cry telling me that she believes I should be alone to get my health back together and that we could be together after, that she needed time to think and clear her mind. I did not react really well telling her that I will have a hard time trusting her again with all this up and down ( 1 week before she was saying that she loved me and that we would always be together) . I was pretty harsh and tried not to be to emotional telling her she was having way too much up and down and that It will be hard for me to respect that.
Anyways now she is gone to her aunt, she left the appartement and told me I could keep all the furniture + the appartement since she owes me a bit of money...
I am pretty broken and I want her back but I am a bit confuse about the next step of action. The option of going out with friends and trying to pick up women is out of the equation since my health still does not allow me that + It is her I want. So I am left with 2 options.
Option A: Being independent, no text message or email and wait until she contact me then hopefully win her back
Option B: Actively trying to get her back : sending her a nice letter or something along those line. It worked in the past for me since I am the romantic and sensitive type of guy.
I am also wondering how I should act with her next time I see her should I open my hearth and tell her how I feel without being too beta or should I be more distant and keep a cool detatch attitude ??
I would greatly appreciate any imput from you guys . Thanks in advance !
The question is what do I do next ... I was planning on going no contact . She already said she wanted to talk on next friday ... I said to her i needed time to think so unsure about that specific date...
Anyways I am thinking next time we met it should be in my own terms so when she contact me I will put off the date to a later day maybe even another week ?!
I am a bit unsure about what to do with my facebook profile . I think that if I change relationship status to ''blank'' or '' its complicated ''it should give me back some power but at the expense of maybe appearing weak and validating further her decision to leave. What to you guys think ?
+ when we do actually meet (in a neutral place ) I will play it cool and tell her that its not okay to go in and out of love like that if she bring up talk of breaking up or start accusing me bringing the past etc I will probably leave.
- If it goes well and she wants to kiss or cuddle I might do it a bit but will stop and tell her I am feeling weird and need some more time to think this trough.
What do you guys think .
Any further advices ?
Does this sound like a good plan ?
When going NC should i totally ignore her or write small answer like I am busy we will talk another day. Maybe even answering the next day telling her i was not home and did not have my cell. I also do not want to be too rude by totally ignoring attempt to contact me .
Let me know what you guys all think
THx soo much in advance