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Thread: An old flame...

  1. #11
    jtorres2_1 is offline PUA in Training
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    Default Re: An old flame...

    Well this has always been a big debate inside PUA. What i really think the correct answer is, look inside yourself and see who you are and how you game/work best.

    For me scripted (guided) Indirect Game is best, my mind tends to wander, i highly enjoy complicated things and i know i have a high chance of remaining blank if i don't have anything prepared, i do let go though when i'm building comfort or when i know things are going smooth.

    I suggested just learning the cube because nobody i know, no matter how charming he is, can hold a conversation for a large amount of time without any silence coming up, and its even worse if something unexpected happens. Having a gambit or two ensures you always have an ace up your sleeve for those cases, there's also the fact that always doing what feels natural might mean you never learn from your mistakes.

    I thought about that a bit actually, how the old feelings and just remembering things about each other might start to come back, so you basically confirmed that for me. I think that's an okay thing though, we had a pretty good relationship, and for the most part there was a huge spark between us the entire time we were together.
    That's great, but still do keep it in mind man, know that we only remember the good parts, but every relationship has both good and bad and sometimes downright ugly, there's a good chance of all those coming back. Like my example with my ex above, i remembered the good and later on the infuriating, it took me on a roller coaster ride to the past, and of course it affected me.

    I am still wondering a couple things though.. If for whatever reason she starts acting awkward or distant, should I still push forward with Kino etc? Or back it off a bit?
    Ahh, you touch a subject at the very heart of PUA, this little gem is what distinguishes you from all the average dudes, if not for this it would just be throwing out lines and any monkey could do it.

    You always have to be analyzing the situation and micro calibrating , for the sake of simplicity and not to get too technical you should just roll off if she gets distant and try it again later, maybe more subtle this time, rinse and repeat. If you do want to get technical though PM me and we'll get into details.

    The other thing is we haven't communicated since Saturday, I'm having trouble deciding when I should contact her.. We haven't talked about a time or a specific night yet, so my plan is to start the convo small and lead up to talking about meeting up this weekend.
    Call her, as in now. Be fun but quick and incise. Tell her you're picking her up on friday/saturday/sunday at X time and tell her to dress sharp. If she says she can't do it that day then suggest another, if she can't do it either and she doesn't suggest anything real she just flaked on you, so say "allright, another time" hang up and move on.

    After that its just a matter of keeping her a little interested until the date itself, sending her a text once every two days with something funny, don't make it a conversation, just one or two replies and then say you're way to busy for her. If you want ideas for these kinds of small texts PM me, that's pretty much it.

    Lots of luck and do update

  2. #12
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    twentynine is offline PUA Forums Respected Contributor
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    Default Re: An old flame...

    Jt, much appreciated advice as always.

    I should mention that we have NOT exchanged numbers yet, we've been messaging over facebook for a long time now.. The last time we talked, after we agreed to meet up, I left my number and said "text me, just getting home". She hasn't texted me yet, she is still using fb to communicate.

    Anyways, I texted her today at noon, just making quick small talk aout the last thing we talked about. Short and sweet. She replied with a longer message than mine. I then replied and ended it with "I'm free this Saturday, let me know if you wanna get together" No reply yet, she might be in bed. If she agrees to Saturday I will tell her what time and to dress sharp etc. I PM'd you and I'll keep u posted bro.

    I definitely think I am overthinking things.. I do good in the heat of the moment. I'm good with people and good at observing social situations. Deep down I'm sure it will go very smoothly, but I think I'm letting my mind wander and worrying a bit too much. As far as Kino etc, I'm thinking after some good conversation and a couple drinks it will be easy to get her to sit on my side of the table.. And I'll let it flow from there. Timing has always been one of my strong points.

    Direct: Thanks for the words of advice I really appreciate it. I will keep in mind what you said about Kino, I agree with you. What meteora said definitely hits home and I think you guys are absolutely right.

    Big thanks guys, means a lot.

  3. #13
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    Default Re: An old flame...

    This has gotten a little more complicated than I would have liked, or expected for that matter...

    She's flaked on me once, well not really flaked but I told her "I'm free Saturday and we should have drinks" and she replied saying she has something already planned for that night, a birthday party she has to attend. She won't initiate conversation at all so she's making it a challenge to not come off as needy. I think she's playing me to an extent.

    I have my staff xmas party coming up at the end of the month. I'm thinking of asking her to be my 'date'.. It's a pretty big event. I work for a big company.. It's semi-formal with free dinner and drinks etc. I can't decide if it's a good idea or a bad one to ask her to come!

    Need your opinions guys asap! Thanks!!

  4. #14
    jtorres2_1 is offline PUA in Training
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    Default Re: An old flame...

    I say no go, she did flake or soft reject you that last time, as i said, if she didn't add another alternative day for a date she's just brushing you off.

    I say pick another girl for this day, an Indicator Of Disinterest followed by insistence is just a weak combo.

    You might need to recalibrate with an IOD of your own and start over here.

  5. #15
    jackerson is offline PUA in Training
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    Default Re: An old flame...

    Wait 1 week or so, and then go ahead and do something you really want (watch a sports game, drink , etc) and "ask" if she wanna Join u.


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