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  1. #1
    jamesg1701 is offline Aspiring PUA
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    Default Did I end up looking like an AFC with this break up?

    So I've been dating this girl for the past six months, was going fine, however, she's a fair bit younger than me (I'm 28 she's just turning 20) so in the back of my mind I always knew it wasn't really ever going to go anywhere.

    Moreover, I'm not really big into relationships, regardless I thought I'd give this a try considering she's very attractive (part time model-student) and seemed really in to me at first.

    Over the course of the relationship I grew increasingly fond of her and I began to fall in love.

    Things were seemingly going well until our last few dates/meet ups, she seemed increasingly distant and for the first time became completely disinterested in sex.
    Now as mentioned, the age gap is substantial and I felt like we were at different stages in our lives, despite this I was in love and was willing to give the relationship a go. However, the fact that she was, from my perspective, pushing me away, made me think that she getting ready to dump me. As a result, my insecurities, along with my PUA mentality, compelled me to 'pre-empt' any dumping by her by telling her that we needed a break.

    So I did and she agrees, saying that "I've been meaning to tell you the same thing, a break would be good."

    I regretted it the moment it came out of my mouth but I go along with it to keep up appearances.

    A few days later by chance I see her in the street with her friend and she asks me assertively "Why haven't you been in touch". I assume she wants to rekindle the relationship so I text her the next day and ask her out for a coffee by text, she replies " I thought we were on a break, it's best for both of us"

    I then text: "Whatever makes you happy, if you're happy I'm happy" Trying to come off slightly aloof.

    She texts back: "I am neutral, neither happy or unhappy" and then " I am trying to be delicate about this, I don't want to upset you"

    To which I respond " Don't be silly, you didn't upset me, I just want you to be ok"

    She responds: In that case if you're not upset I can be more frank, it's just not working for me anymore I don't think we should be together or even friends"

    Now at this point I am consigned to loosing her, with mixed feelings. I kind of want her to know how I really feel about her, perhaps so she would "reveal" her true feelings for once (if she ever had them to begin with), so I say:

    "Yes, I've been feeling the the same way for some time, hence why I said we should go on a break, but at some point I fell in love with you so it was hard. Anyway, good luck with whatever you do"

    Her final text was " Yeh, you too. Let me know how things go for you x

    Now I kind of feel like she turned the tables on me and actually dumped me! I tried to save face with the last text but the "I love you" (which is genuine) killed it.

    Importantly, do you think she said she wanted to end it and not even be friends because she was actually upset/pissed off or was she being honest?

    Any advice would be much appreciated.

  2. #2
    HardRock is offline PUA Forums Respected Contributor
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    Default Re: Did I end up looking like an AFC with this break up?

    You may want her back.things could be flipped easily

  3. #3
    jamesg1701 is offline Aspiring PUA
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    Default Re: Did I end up looking like an AFC with this break up?

    How? She said so herself, she said she doesn't even want to be friends.

  4. #4
    HardRock is offline PUA Forums Respected Contributor
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    Default Re: Did I end up looking like an AFC with this break up?

    Phone her and run game.be sure to build attraction.may present content here.

  5. #5
    jamesg1701 is offline Aspiring PUA
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    Default Re: Did I end up looking like an AFC with this break up?

    Quote Originally Posted by HardRock View Post
    Phone her and run game.be sure to build attraction.may present content here.
    It's been a few days and I've decided I don't want her back, we never really had much in common and I could see the cracks developing.

    What I really want to know, going by what I wrote in the OT, is if you think she really meant what she said about not wanting to be even be friends and that she also felt like it wasn't working, or was it a defence mechanism - a power play on her behalf?

  6. #6
    HardRock is offline PUA Forums Respected Contributor
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    Default Re: Did I end up looking like an AFC with this break up?

    It wasn't ... per say.tried to keep a straight face.it hurt.made a few mistakes with her.dont go telling her that.may salvage if you will..

  7. #7
    jamesg1701 is offline Aspiring PUA
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    Default Re: Did I end up looking like an AFC with this break up?

    Quote Originally Posted by HardRock View Post
    It wasn't ... per say.tried to keep a straight face.it hurt.made a few mistakes with her.dont go telling her that.may salvage if you will..

    Not sure if I follow (don't mean to be rude), don't go telling her what?

  8. #8
    HardRock is offline PUA Forums Respected Contributor
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    Default Re: Did I end up looking like an AFC with this break up?

    Hmm..
    Dont go AFC on her.which i know you will not.sometimes emotions can escalate fast.bet you must be over her completely


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