I met this amazing girl and moved in with her on the third date (uh, yeah).
She'd read "The Game" and knew about PUA and hated it. Hated it! So did I!
I thought, "Great, finally, I don't have to do all that stuff to get girls with this girl. She's different. I can just be me."
(Wrong, but we'll get to that.)
She said she likes the guy to "make all the moves", so I did. And we ended up in a *relationship* pretty quick.
Then I noticed some of the unnatural things I'd done at her behest -- like suggest we change our "relationship" status on Facebook to being together -- I noticed these moves got a sour reaction from her. Stuff like, "Um, usually the *girl* does that."
There were a few other cues. This nerdy girl who I *thought* wasn't like all the other girls was beginning to react just like them. She was losing interest as I began to show MORE interest because she ASKED me to.
Even though we connected at first, I was still kind of aloof in the beginning. It drove her nuts. She got upset, so I made the mistake of listening to her and began to act like a "relationshipy", soft, sensitive guy "concerned" about the relationship.
Man, she didn't care at all about that stuff. But I thought she wanted that! When I was more aloof and she was more UNSURE about how I FELT about her, she was a lot more... INTERESTED! She seemed anxious and worried, but at least INTERESTED.
On the flip side, I began to complain about her aloofness, detachment and seeming disinterest in me and everything about us. I blew up once, just got mad.
I finally moved out (she basically asked me to leave). It was kind of a sour break-up.
I cared a HELL of a lot more than she did.
While I haven't been needy, per se, I still talk to her and contact her online. Sometimes I just want to talk. Other times I get mad, I ream her for some of the things I'm talking about above, about how she presented herself one way but turned out totally different. I've gotten angry. I've been harsh. I've kinda raked her over the coals.
I've also said part of me loves her. That my "heart belongs to" her and a bunch of other mushy stuff. It's been a pendulum swing between me being sweet and me being pissed off.
Now I know I've all but lost her.
I know I have to *stop* writing her *completely*. Totally. And wait for her to respond, and then *ignore* her.
If I had done things differently and just *not* listened to her, and just maintained my original attitude -- which was showing interest, but still being aloof, and a little skeptical, things would have probably turned out differently.
Instead, I went into relationship mode WAY too quick, because I thought that's what she wanted. I thought, "Here's this kinda nerdy girl who's read The Game and is totally beyond all that stuff, I guess I don't have to play those games."
Nah. I still kinda needed to. No woman is really immune to being a woman.
It's sad "games" had to be a part of what we had, but they were. And I feel she's kinda to blame, or not aware of it. She asked me to change, I did, and she lost interest. It's so stereotypical, I thought she was beyond that, but I don't think she is.