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  1. #1
    The Real Jerk is offline Aspiring PUA
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    Default Need help getting my girlfriend back after she asked to take a 'break'

    Hey, guys

    I need some help. I'm going to outline my situation first.

    I'm dating a girl who is a public figure. We've been dating for about 4 months now. We initially met for drinks twice, then dinner. She only realised I liked her once we had dinner. We kissed the 4th time we went out. She kissed me.

    It was all great in the beginning. I started off alpha, but slipped into beta mode, like a real wuss. I think because she's a public figure, I put her on a pedestal and bent over backwards for her.

    So on Wednesday and messaged her why she kept avoiding eye contact when we danced on Saturday, and why she called her friend while were on a romantic outing. She said we need to talk. She's been putting it off and she's not sure whether we can fix this or not.

    Basically, her interest level was low. She wasn't feeling as much in love as I was. I was crushed. She suggested we give it a week break so that she could see how she will feel. I realised that I was beta, and told her this. I also told her that I'd change. For me. Not her. She also said we'd probably be in each other's lives a lot, because we were so similar. I told her I wasn't sure how soon we could be friends if it didn't work out.

    We spoke and she said a couple things that gave me hope. She said that she really really loves me, and we have a good thing going. I told her I want a future with her, and she smiled broadly and said that would be nice.

    On Friday, I thought I was being alpha, and sent her a text saying that she should let me know if she makes up her mind before the week is up, so that we don't waste each other's time. She said she isn't making a decision. She's gotta see how she feels and I must focus on my life and myself.

    I really love her. She's the one. What do I do to keep her?

  2. #2
    JT2012 is offline PUA in Training
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    Default Re: Need help getting my girlfriend back after she asked to take a 'break'

    So you didn't include how long you two have been in the relationship so I am unsure if this relationship is in the puppy phase or if it is seasoned of a few years. I will do my best to write what I would do if I was in your position and had a couple months of this relationship under my belt. The first thing I would do is no contact. To me, even though you thought asking her when she was going to make up her mind was Alpha, I feel it was sort of Beta. Don't ask questions like that, it makes it seem you are scared of the outcome. I would go solid no contact. If she hits you up with a decision than THAT is when you know how she really feels. Don't try to draw the answer out of her. Being a public figure, i'm not sure what that means as far as how public. I mean, she could just make YouTube videos and be called a public figure or she could be a congress woman. We don't know. Reguardless I would say that she is used to the attention of people and guys trying to seek attention and even approval from her. Stand out from the rest. Don't give her what others can give her so easily. I'm not saying once you guys break no contact to ignore here completely. But take her off that stool. She is your equal. Not your superior.

    But if she wants a week long break. Give it to her. Give her distance to MISS YOU.

  3. #3
    The Real Jerk is offline Aspiring PUA
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    Default Re: Need help getting my girlfriend back after she asked to take a 'break'

    Thanks, man.

    We've been dating for 4 months. She's in the local media.

  4. #4
    JT2012 is offline PUA in Training
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    Default Re: Need help getting my girlfriend back after she asked to take a 'break'

    Quote Originally Posted by The Real Jerk View Post
    Thanks, man.

    We've been dating for 4 months. She's in the local media.
    Sounds like you are still in the puppy phase. This early in a relationship, it's mainly fueled by passion and raw emotion. Nothing is very logical at this phase when why you are head over heals for her. I do suggest working on your and trying to see the relationship from a logical frame of mind. Thinking with emotion only will get you hurt. Trust me, I've been there. I've learned to kind of down out my emotions when something happens and think about it logically. Not only has it helped me stay sane, but you would not believe how many fights or arguments it stops. Majority of those are started because of emotional responses. Work on you. Work on thinking logically and by thinking logically, you will super charger your frame control.


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