So roughly 6 months ago (lost count, I try not to think about it and move on) my ex of 10 months and I broke up on really bad terms. I dumped her over a fight about my jealousy and when I talked to her saying sorry she said she just wanted to be friends. Long story short, she got with her ex (who shes with now) a week later and I cursed her out and went to her house grabbed my shit and left. She blocked me after that but unblocked me after which I blocked her for 2 months and then tried to re-initiate contact by asking her about her little cousin, which I got no reply and was blocked.
Now here we are all this time later and she decided to unblock me today (I noticed a bunch of pictures of her were in my tagged photos). This rose flags in my head because I remember as we entered the last downhill month of our relationship she went and unblocked this ex (which I instigated a fight, good old insecure me of back then). I can't help but think that it's because deep down she misses me, because I've spent the last couple months when I thought of her thinking how farked up it is that we were each others everything and that I'm nothing to her but she still plagues my mind. I think shes trying to check up on me because she misses me so I have all this motivation to go out and post pics of all the hot girls I'm around now because I know shes looking but she doesn't know I know so it will seem like I'm of high value to her again. However, the rational side of me is thinking that she just happened to do it while unblocking others.
I want to believe her and this dude are dying down and that shes looking back my way, but I'm so confused in my mind. I told myself I wouldn't give her a chance, but yet I feel like maybe I should forgive her if we start talking again and try again. This comes from me thinking about all the struggles we went through and how we spent so much of our time together where we were best friends and lovers. I honestly could be myself more with her than my long time friends and she wouldn't judge me. I did happen to glance over her profile but didn't go down her timeline because it was all shit with her and him so I went to her pics and she deleted every single pic of me and her kissing and hugging, so that there shattered my heart. I'm hoping that was a result of her boyfriends jealousy and not her own action because I was the one who deleted pics of her and her ex before me.
I know I'm rambling but I need some serious external opinions. When we were together she honestly never did me much wrong until the very end. We did fight a lot, but I did instigate them over stupid jealousy shit. I've put my hands on her (once a LONG time ago, but I still threatened her later on), which I extremely regret and is part of the reason I want her back, is to prove I'm not that guy when she remembers me. I just think she lost attraction for me because I became AFC. She would even text the exact words "I want a man who isn't insecure and jealous and has the confidence to trust me". I don't know why my gut keeps telling me if we get back together it will work because I know better now that I can't be insecure. I think that the connection will come back. I want to hear your guyses thoughts, be as blunt as possible. If I take her back, would you guys say I lose my man card or keep it because I took back what I've wanted for so long? This event just brought back a shit ton of feelings that I haven't felt in a while.