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  • 2 Post By ronthepen

Thread: Ive been breaking down over my ex after 5 months..I feel LOST & HOPELESS

  1. #1
    TimbWolves87 is offline Aspiring PUA
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    Default Ive been breaking down over my ex after 5 months..I feel LOST & HOPELESS

    So I was in a relationship for two years with this one girl.

    The situation was unique from the start, she was out here in IL, from Wis, for the sole purpose of attending a program for those that are pre-med. So when I met her, I knew that eventually she would be moving for med school, where ever that might be.

    We had our problems though as we dated, she would talk down to me, and almost talk to me like a parent would. That caused a lot of fights through out the relationship. So we had a rocky road while dating..

    Now after she finished her pre-med program, she then decided to move back home to her parents, which is 2 hrs and some change away from where I am in Chicago. Now in October we officially were broken up, and by the end of December she had moved back home permanently.


    Now since the break up and the move back, we'v maintained contact a lot, talking almost everyday, and she has come out to stay with me for weekends, once in Jan and once 2 weekends..


    We hooked up the January weekend and then this past visit we got into a fight because she didnt want to.



    Now heres where we can talk about how I lost it a couple days ago.. I was talking about if she wants me to come up for her Bday, and she said she doesnt want me to come, because if I start drinking and see her talking/flirting with guys, she knows there will be drama.. She then told me that this last weekend she met a friend of a friend at a basball game and shes been texting him here and there..

    Thats what devastated me, she actually moved on.. When me and her hung out two weekends ago I was messing with her and told her I had a Gf (I dont) and she look devastated herself, so I was thinking she still had some of the feelings for me..

    I told her how I actually feel a few nights ago, and she said she gets the same feelings as I do when we are actually face to face together, but dont think we are right for each other for the reason that we fought so much in the past...




    I just feel horrible.. She's going to be leaving for 4 years for med school, and that will be very soon, I say possibly as soon as July... I've been meeting and hooked up with a few different women, but I dont feel the same connection with them, that I do with her..

    I was actually pulling a drake and got teary eyed thinking about everything these past few days..

    I really love her


    Another thing is I set myself up for this in a way... When I first met her I knew her goal was med school, which meant that she would eventually be leaving, and Id only have three options 1.) Go and follow her 2.) Long distance 3.) let it go..



    Its sucks though, I dont really have any people Im truly close with, and when I was with her for those two years.. all most ALL of my time and activities were spent WITH HER..

    So now that she is gone, back home 2hrs away and by summer will most likely be even FURTHER away.. I find myself getting very anxious and depressed.. I have nothing to do, sure the bar/club on the weekend, but my weekdays are spend inside.

  2. #2
    ronthepen is offline PUA in Training
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    Default Re: Ive been breaking down over my ex after 5 months..I feel LOST & HOPELES

    You're not asking questions in your post, but I'll chime in to try to help you with your perspective of the situation. Others might be of more aid.

    You knew from the start that this story would end up with a separation. You played the jealousy card and she did it to you too.
    You say you really love her.
    You say you feel lost and helpless.

    Here are some facts that could help you.
    1) Reality is not like in the movies. Life hurts. It's part of the play of life because if it would never be negative, you'd never know when it's positive by contrast. So enjoy your suffering - it's because of this that you will later appreciate the good days more.

    2) You talk about school so I guess you are still young. Well I have news for you: Life is long. Very long. Surprises awaits at every corner. Maybe this girl will come back to you in ten years and you'll still be in a position to start a family. Or you'll be with someone even better for you... which should not be difficult to find since you two use to fight all the time.

    3) You really love her. I have no doubts about it. But if she doesn't love you the same way then you're left with no relationship. Accept this. And if you really love her, it shouldn't be a problem to let her go, to let her grow and see in a few years from now if things can start over with the two of you.

    4) You're not lost. You think you lost your love, but the truth is that this love came from you all along and you still have this love. And you... you cannot lose yourself - you are and will always be... you. What you've lost is the mental construction of yourself. Your conditioning did not meet the requirements to survive in this reality. So take this opportunity to work on yourself and find the real you, the one that existed before you met her, the one who will spend his life running into both bad and beautiful phenomenal experiences but that will always be.

    Am I being too philosophical? If this is what you think, then I'll just say what every other pua would say. Fark 10 girls and the problem will be solved.

    Good luck.

  3. #3
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    Default Re: Ive been breaking down over my ex after 5 months..I feel LOST & HOPELES

    Great input by Ronthepen. Appreciate the closeness and investment you feel to her and realize it's healthy to expand your horizon too. If there aren't bars around for weekdays, there's always dating (Tinder or online if can't do cold approach), or get a hobby to become more well rounded. Keep your head up!!
    The Official Tinder Playbook--> http://conquerdatingapps.co m <--Stop swiping, start hooking up


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