I'd like to start off by stating that I'm not that new to the pickup community and have known the common techniques and beliefs for about 7 years now since high school. Well me and my LTR of 3.5-4 years just ended things with me. It started in college when she was an innocent freshman and I was an orientation leader lol, throughout college I must say I had a great amount of value. I was in a top fraternity, living in a fraternity house, had many friends and was pretty popular on campus with students and professors. I also was very ambitious, very caring towards others and had decent shot with most women.
Well my ex and I were quickly attracted to each other being a year older and having some value, we ended up hooking up for about 6 months and then eventually started dating for 3.5 years after that.
Throughout college I held my value, but we became extremely close, and slightly codependent. She was my best friend however I still gave her, her space and if anything would be constantly chasing me.
I'm not going to get into further details but we were talking about marriage one day, living together, and being together forever (yes I am an idiot to say that at 21/22) Welp fast forward to today, my ex is now one month into Medical school about an hour from me. I am now working as a police officer, but for the past several months I've been filled with negativity, doubt, less drive and was not the same person in college. She was also overwhelmed with medical school, I gave her her space and what not and we were still very lovey towards each other, and I helped support her when she failed her first exam. She even stated I dont know what I would do without you, I just want to be with you.
Well last week after drinks and lunch she sits me down and is confused about her and us and medical school, I freak out, we fuck, and shes still confused so I said it was over and walked out. She chased me and said she wanted to work things out and could never leave me. This continues for a couple days and we actually completely work things out and its great. Then I saw a text from her af friend regarding a boy shes friends with again (he said he liked her but she didn't reciprocate but found him attractive) and freaked out and stormed out, acted needy and texted and called her all day while she was in a full day of classes. Needless to say she said she wanted a break, I said that was fine, I did NC while she continued to bombard me with texts and small talk and she eventually broke up with me on the phone, and tried to get back together with me after 5 minutes. I told her we needed to discuss this like adults and she agreed, and I basically haven't heard back from her in 4 days.
Basically I know shes confused, I know she still loves me and I have less value now, and the fact I stressed out her completely psyched her out. I'm following the get your ex back protocol, but realize it might be a lost cause.
The benefit is that I get to enjoy my life by myself and focus on myself. I still want to accomplish a lot in life, but the past several days have sucked.
I am just looking for words of encouragement, and where to get back to pick up basically. What material should I be reading, and what inner game products and material will help me focus. I really need to work on myself before even attempting to talk to my ex again (even though I might now because I laid a beautiful blonde that was more attractive then her ). But basically this is my first serious breakup, and need guidance. I have gotten guidance from my male and girl friends and family but need some input from some lady killas to help me get my life rolling again. Especially regarding inner game. Thanks guys any input would help.