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  1. #1
    teck2021 is offline Aspiring PUA
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    Default Friend Zoned by my Ex!

    I went to see my ex after a year of no contact. We reconnected via text and she seemed happy to see me. I took her out for dinner and we caught up about the past year we've been apart. I avoided any talk about the past or how I've changed since then as I felt it would've brought in negative emotions. So I put it in anecdotal form and she mentioned that she could definitely see a positive change in me.

    (We broke up because I felt I needed to move back home to better my life. I was right, but now I want her back in my life.)

    Things were going well until we got back to her house and I tried to kiss her. She refused and said that she just wants to be friends because it would be crazy to keep trying to do the same thing and expect a different result. Ouch. I tried to convince her that things are different now and that we should just move forward instead of backward. She wasn't having it. We hugged for a while before I grabbed my things to leave. We hugged again before I walked out the door. I tried to kiss her again. She didn't have it. While we were embracing each other, I asked if she really wanted me to leave because it didn't feel like she did. She said yes and I walked out the door. Before I left, I turned and apologize for my behavior in our past relationship. She did the same and I left feeling like an idiot.

    We still have contact and she still wants me to come for band practice (we play music together). I went real AFC on this one and wonder if there's still any chance for us.

    Her wanting me in her life still could mean that she wants to see how things go or it could mean that she's truly over it and ready to move on with us just being friends.

    Not sure where to go from here.

  2. #2
    John Alex Clark is offline Aspiring PUA
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    Default Re: Friend Zoned by my Ex!

    It would appear that she simply doesn't see you as a prospective romantic partner anymore.

    I believe you still have a chance with her even if you have been friendzoned. Work on improving your image to become more attractive especially for her. Try to figure out what her ideal guy might be and do your best to become that guy -- that is, if you believe that she is worth the effort. You were obviously moving too fast for her when you first re-initiated contact, so take it slow and don't rush her the next time you get to see her. Don't even make any implication of having any sexual and/or romantic interest in her. Just be yourself, but try to show off your attractive traits to her subtly without telling her or letting her know what you are doing. You'll probably need to see her a few times for this to work, but while you are showing off your positive traits to her, you should also be closely examining her in secret and gauging her reactions -- trying to find out whether she still has some interest left in you. With any luck, she might even just change her mind on her own after she sees the new you.

  3. #3
    lovedoc is offline Banned
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    Default Re: Friend Zoned by my Ex!

    Sometimes girls get scared they will end up at the same place again if the relationship was to get back together. It is really positive that she can see the changes in you. Don't pressure her or ask her again about getting back ( for the time being) since she has said she doesn't want to go back to the place.

    Being in the friendzone and spending time with her is not a bad thing. She needs to see how much you have changed, and you may find that by taking a step back and, just being you, showing her what a great catch you are and how you have moved on with life, she may find this more attractive and miss what you had and want you back. Her making that initial step is very important, she needs to feel incontrol and that it is her decision.

    Become more attractive to her....show her what a great guy you are and what she is missing......don't pressure her

  4. #4
    teck2021 is offline Aspiring PUA
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    Default Re: Friend Zoned by my Ex!

    Thank you all for your replies. I got a lot of insight from you guys!


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