I went to see my ex after a year of no contact. We reconnected via text and she seemed happy to see me. I took her out for dinner and we caught up about the past year we've been apart. I avoided any talk about the past or how I've changed since then as I felt it would've brought in negative emotions. So I put it in anecdotal form and she mentioned that she could definitely see a positive change in me.
(We broke up because I felt I needed to move back home to better my life. I was right, but now I want her back in my life.)
Things were going well until we got back to her house and I tried to kiss her. She refused and said that she just wants to be friends because it would be crazy to keep trying to do the same thing and expect a different result. Ouch. I tried to convince her that things are different now and that we should just move forward instead of backward. She wasn't having it. We hugged for a while before I grabbed my things to leave. We hugged again before I walked out the door. I tried to kiss her again. She didn't have it. While we were embracing each other, I asked if she really wanted me to leave because it didn't feel like she did. She said yes and I walked out the door. Before I left, I turned and apologize for my behavior in our past relationship. She did the same and I left feeling like an idiot.
We still have contact and she still wants me to come for band practice (we play music together). I went real AFC on this one and wonder if there's still any chance for us.
Her wanting me in her life still could mean that she wants to see how things go or it could mean that she's truly over it and ready to move on with us just being friends.
Not sure where to go from here.