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  1. #11
    ConnorMaxwell72 is offline PUA in Training
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    Default Re: Dated 7 months, broke up about 2 months ago, ex initiated contact

    To be honest, I'm not really too sure what your over all goals are here. I can't tell if you're seriously trying to get your ex back or if you're just looking for an F close.

    I get the feeling you've been out there "learning the moves" to get your ex back, without even really understand what about you made your ex want to leave. Equally so, you're not really paying much attention behind the psychological meaning as to why she acts/does certain things, and just throwing move out there for some result. And you have been getting results. But if you don't address the key issues of your last relationship all you're going to do is relive you old relationship - including how it ended. (And it gets exponentially harder to get your ex back every time you break up). This is a huge topic to talk about and I won't get into it here.

    Some things I caught as I read your posts, and I'm going to try to arrange this the best I can (a little scatter brained right now).

    First, I think there's an inner game needs a little work. The reason why I say this is not because of dedicated you might have thought you seemed, but really how needy you were to get our attention on the forums. Comments like "Looks like I'll just keep talking to myself then." and "looks like no one cares" scream neediness and insecurity, like you're desperate for our attention on the matter. It really shouldn't matter whether we answer you or not. My point? This kind of attitude are character issues that spill over into whatever relationship you had.

    Second, it seems like you've over looked why exactly she's acting the way she is, and have taken an approach of "her action - how to respond" to get what you want (which is no real fault of your own, that's just now men are hard wired - practical, tactical thinkers). You really need to sit back and evaluate not only what she said, but why she really said that. For example, her pulling away and being unsure really is an indication of not only not being "alpha" but also not feeling attracted to you anymore. I can help you analyze this further if you want as I'm trying to keep this short.

    I really think you're just throwing moves out there, and granted you are having some luck and the responses you want. The point of no contact is so you have a solid block of time to sort through your sh!t, improve yourself, and most importantly, letting her feel the gravity of her decision not to be with you. 2 weeks is not enough time, really anything short of a month isn't enough. She hasn't struggle through living a life without you, and in fact, when you started that 2 weeks of no contact you actually gave into her impulses. You were still being that AFC because she had second thoughts and you were right there for her again as if nothing was wrong. She was vulnerable, and you went right there for her and fell for it. Even though you were sort of non-committal in you responses, you still pushed to hang out too soon and still engaged in actually having a presence in her life. She really didn't learn anything from it, and in fact, I'd be worried that you'll get friend zoned or a FWB (which is why I'm not really sure what your motives are). Eventually, she's going to figure out that she can get all the attention, affection, and commitment of a relationship without actually having to commit or be in a relationship with you. Just wait until the next guy comes along, you'll go through this all again because you haven't build a strong foundation. You're trying to relive the old relationship.

    Which is my other point - if you try to have a relationship with her, you have to let the old relationship completely die. This is so that you can let all the old transgressions of the old relationship go away and not creep up again. Otherwise, you just relive the old relationship all over again. 2 weeks is not enough time to let that die. And if you decide to date her, you have to start all over again. There's no such thing as picking up the pieces.

    Lastly, I respectfully disagree with PhantomPUA above. Texting should certainly NOT be only used for planning logistics and dates, etc. Texting is actually a really powerful tool if you know how to use it. It allows you to create an entire world that is completely unique to only you and her, totally private, and using it correctly allows you to establish an irresistible connection and bonding between you two. In fact, I would NEVER just talk about "business" with her through text, and leave it solely to flirt, sext, whatever that's fun. Create a world that is just for you and her.

    Trying to keep this short, let me know if you want any further advice.

  2. #12
    Viekas7 is offline Aspiring PUA
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    Default Re: Dated 7 months, broke up about 2 months ago, ex initiated contact

    Thanks for the input and thoughts!

    Me saying looks like I'm talking to myself was just playing around. Finnish way of makikg jokes I guess. I was a total dluchebag and insecure when things started to go downhill. I did do some thinking and got my shit together. The best way for me is to go out and workout etc.

    I wanted to show her that I wasn't an AFC and stressed out all the time and I knew she had second thoughts the first time we met after the break up. I made it up to her that I was an idiot. We talked about what went wrong and what she thought. I said I had done some thinking and wanted to tell her about the stressfull stuff I had and I didn't want that affecting our relationship, which it obviously did..

    We both agreed that the old relationship is dead and she wanted to start dating and take things slow. We'll make some dinner tonight and watch a movie. Then she has her finals coming up next week and we'll get together after that.

    Hopefully u get what I mean. I really need to keep my shit together now and keep reading the pua stuff.

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