- How we started: She refused me first but after around 2-3 months she come back and say she missed me and feels secured thinking about me
- Nearly 2 year relationship. Both are first love.
- We have minor arguments over text (Frequency: on average twice a month)
- Face to face argument: Overall no more than 7 times I think
- Real big argument: Overall no more than 3 times (And every time at the end I make sure I made her happy)
Problem that leads to a "cool-down period":
- Lack of common hobbies (But we have, it is just that whenever we're together our focus is on each other and we failed to accomplish anything together but gave in to intimacy)
- Contrasting Personality (Me being a thinker, she hates thinking)
- Me being negative and sensitive
- Me being a Mr.No No No guy
Problem that leads to the final decision of breakup:
- Loss of "feeling"
(Day -5) she is under immense pressure and so busy with everything: School, family, work etc
(Day 0) Last Checkpoint: She invited me to her home and we had an intimate time
(Day 7) I smell a little different attitude from her (Very little, I was starting to become clingy so maybe I was toooooo sensitive), so I ask her what happened, she refuse to say.
(Day 8-9) Difference Escalates, on day 10 she finds out that I'm afraid she's with another guy.
(Day 10) With me keep asking and caring about her she tells me everything(The problems that leads to the cool down period) and she requested a 1 month cool-down period.I addressed all those problems and assure I can change, she says she doesn't want me to change for her, I said I change because I need to, she's only the one who's pointing them out.
(Day 11-12) I still send 1-2 msgs each day to her, just some warm reminders. She appears to be responding positively.
(Day 13) I REGRET EVER ASKING HER OUT FOR A LUNCH. She struggled for a while and said we should be friends instead(Via text...sigh). NEEDINESS TO THE MAX I plead (Through text), not working, and when my mother sees me so desperate for the first time in my (once) awesome life she called my ex (SUPER REGRET I SHOULD HAVE STOPPED HER) and said something(very moderate, no offense at all) and then I picked up the phone and pleaded. She cried a bit and said she'll consider. Afterwards her friend called me and said I'm done. She was so angry about me letting my mother and her mother know this. NC-Initiated.
(Day 28) I MESSED UP and asked her out. We had a little conversation. I addressed and explained the problems again(Which is a stupid idea I only know now, and yes, woman thinks these are simply excuses and make them more determined.). And then I hugged her and tell her I'm okay and I understand her painful decision. She cried and said she felt guilty blah blah blah. But she said during those 15 days of NC she felt the feeling was lost. She suggested we'd be friends, I said "up to you". But the rest of the day I can feel we were behaving like a couple naturally, just no kisses or hugs( I could even massage her legs). I gave her two letters and said I love you the last time.
(Day 29) We texted, she said the letters made her cried.
(Day 29-33 or sth) We texted like we normally did.
(Day 34?) I invited her for a dinner. She accepted with no refusal. And she agreed to go for a walk after the dinner. I tried to massage her leg again, this time I feel slight refusal so I gave up. Instead I gently rub her head. She curled her body and keep playing with her hair. I bet thats a sign of refusal too? So at last I gave her a gift and she accepted it.
(Day 35) First time after re-contact she texted me first. She asked me whether her new icon looks good or not. And then one of my retarded friend came out of no where and told her everything I told this idiot: Signs I think that shows my ex is still loving me etc.(But still my ex, despite the dinner, still feels secured and familiar around me,just don't have that "feeling", "for the moment".)
BOOM NEEDINESS TO THE MAX AND SHE NEVER EVER INITIATED CONTACT WITH ME AGAIN.
(Day 38) She posted on instagram about having the worst October ever. I texted her to take everything easy and she says she can't, but refused to see me or talk over the phone. (When my friend ask her though she says she's recovering great) 2nd NC re-initiated.
So basically, I have been in complete NC for 8 days now.
Through instagram she seems to be living a normal and happy life, but I don't know I have a feeling she's convincing herself she's happy without me. Perhaps I'm still quite sensitive but I don't believe she can forget about our happy 2 years so quickly, she did enjoy it even more than I do.
Right now my questions are:
1) Is it possible that I can get her back?
2) Is NC the right decision now? (Given that I'm a lot less needy right now) If not what approach should I take instead?
3) If you guys need more information?