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  1. #1
    SevereRoo is offline Aspiring PUA
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    Default 2 Weeks of NC - Ran Into Ex Last Night

    Backstory: She dumped me 20 days ago, and it lasted for 6 weeks. It wasnt on my terms but my instincts felt that something was wrong, so I guess deep down I knew it was coming. I havent had many relationships so looking back, I made some naive mistakes.

    E.g. early on, she said plainly 'dont run away from me' as it was a dealbreaker for her. Also, she once said that getting to know people deep down drew them closer to her.

    I stupidly took that at face value and overly-committed and over-shared. Dropped the l-bomb first, you name it. We fought a lot over small things that she instigated. Again I naively thought that because we were boyfriend/girlfriend that we could just maturely talk about it, and that once we saw each others' perspective we'd be better for it. But this usually only turned into bigger fights with no resolution. I

    Eventually things came to a head when she said she thought of her LTR ex of 2 years constantly, both with and without me. He started messaging again 2 weeks into the relationship. I didnt establish boundaries about it.

    So yeah, while we were AWESOME on dates - very very deep attraction - we kinda lost that connection the next day over text. We'd spend the weekend at her place because 'she didnt like to go out' (she also dropped landmines of me 'trying to change her' by asking to go out lol). I kept trying to make it work, she didnt, and kept pushing me away by acting shittier and shittier -- either subconsciously or consciously.

    Realistically it was a shitty relationship but I felt such an immense attraction to her. Probs suffering from some one-itis.

    -----------

    So I ran into her very very briefly. We were both attending a thing, and she saw me and I saw her. The only interaction we had was a very brief 'hey how are you' as we passed on the stairs. We didnt even stop.

    She may or may not have seen me slip around the corner with another girl.
    I also made out with + got a number of another girl that night so I have something in play. But I want this ex-back, at least to end things on my terms because I feel I didnt represent myself well enough. Now that I know how things are, I want to behave accordingly.

    I kinda want to send a text that cheekily says 'really enjoyed our chat last night!' to poke fun at the situation. Or maybe text her later on with a callback to a place we used to go a lot on dates (we made out a lot there so I was going to say 'the waitress is still giving me dirty looks')

    I know NC is the safer option but I feel like she has convinced herself it was bad and that she's over it way quicker than I expected.

  2. #2
    SevereRoo is offline Aspiring PUA
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    Default Re: 2 Weeks of NC - Ran Into Ex Last Night

    So I bit the bullet and sent her that message anyway.
    She replied when I was out with:

    Sorry, didn't wanna cockblock you
    friends don't cockblock each other ^^
    So I just left you to it

    I replied:
    how terribly considerate of you

    She replied:
    Well I do think it was.
    Sure my friend told me to go up while you're talking to a girl
    and make you feel awkward
    xD
    And I thought that was mean and so not like me
    I would never do that to a friend


    I didnt reply, but I made sure to 'read' it at approx 4-5am.
    Obviously she has (or is pretending to) convinced herself that she acted like a friend when it's clear we're not, and that she wants to hammer home that point.

    Thoughts? Like I said I just want the power back in this. I was going to write 'it wouldnt have worked anyway ' but I think it's too late to pick up that thread again.

  3. #3
    JT2012 is offline PUA in Training
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    Default Re: 2 Weeks of NC - Ran Into Ex Last Night

    Maybe you can use this situation as a way to ask her out on a mutual date. Something a long the lines of "I'm going to XXXX tonight, maybe we can brush past each other again. Just don't cockblock me "

    Idk if thats your style but something to consider. Use the awkward sitch as a pawn in your next move.


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