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  1. #1
    tylerd is offline Aspiring PUA
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    Question GF of 2 years left after I cheated. Moved out, no idea where she is

    My ex-girlfriend and I were together for 2 years and we had lived together for almost 6 months. We had a great relationship and had talked about the future and possibly getting married. Two weekends before our 2 year anniversary I had to go on a business trip. On the trip I had a One Night Stand with a girl who was working at the lounge I had gone to after my business meeting . It was a mistake and I know I am 100 percent to blame. She was a good girlfriend and I am man enough to admit it was pure selfishness on my part. Afterward I felt terrible and vowed to commit myself to my girlfriend and never do it again. However 10 days later on our actual anniversary when I got home from work she was gone. Everything was normal when I left and she even told me she loved me and kissed me goodbye. Her stuff was all gone and on the living room table was her cell phone (with the memory wiped) and a picture from the hotel surveillance camera of me and lounge girl in the lobby together. Fark. No idea how she found out, I was on the trip alone in a different city, lounge girl and I only gave first names, I didn't tell her where I worked and we never exchanged numbers or anything and the hotel was paid for by my work.

    Still I figure she would cool down and then we could talk about it, but I haven't seen her since the morning of that day. That was back on November 10. We were due to renew the lease on our townhouse at the end of November but I ended up having to move because I couldn't afford the rent on my own. She left her phone behind presumably because we were on a couples plan that I was paying for. So I don't know her new cell number to call her on. She has blocked me and all of our mutual friends that we made as a couple on Facebook and when I email her it gets bounced back as being undeliverable. If I message one of her friends or family on Facebook I immediately get blocked without reply. She took her name of the joint bank account even though she left all the money and her mail is being re-routed from our old town house, and the post office can't tell me where due to privacy reasons. In short I have no idea where she is living or how to contact her.

    The only 2 things I can think of is either going to see her at work or hiring a PI to find her. She works in a hospital emergency room, but because it's behind closed doors separate from the triage area I can't just walk in and go see her. I can't call her directly there, because the number is internal and there is a switchboard.When I call the switchboard I'm told she is not available and not given the option of leaving a message. I also sent a apology letter to her work and it was marked as return to sender unopened. She didn't have a car, we shard mine so I have no idea if she has a car or how she is getting to work and around, so it's not like I can wait by the employee parking garage and follow her out because I have no idea what she is driving. A PI is expensive but I think it would be worth it because I really want her back. When I got into PUA it wasn't so I could have a bunch of girls, although I did do that for a while, it was so I could get over and my anxiety around women and meet a women to have a future with, which I did. I know I'm the one to blame but I know if she would give me a second chance I could make it up to her. I also know she still loves me and I don't understand why she is throwing everything away over one stupid mistake. Please help, any advice on what to do in my situation is appreciated.

  2. #2
    saguviper is offline PUA in Training
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    Default Re: GF of 2 years left after I cheated. Moved out, no idea where she is

    Woah, crazy story man! First off, that's pretty creepy that she hunted down and possibly hired a PI to follow you on your business trip to make sure you were not cheating on her. If there were 5 stages of craziness like clinger stages, that would be a stage 5. It seems that she has closed the book into this relationship, because she has gone off the map. Why would you deeply want to chase after her? She didn't even want to talk about it. Sometimes it's best to move on and forget about her. Maybe she might pop back up in the future, but why live a miserable life chasing her when right now she wants nothing to do with you?

    It's hard to hear that, but I chased after an ex and it didn't end well. So I leanrned from my mistakes, put it down in my brain to never do that again, and lesson learned. Just be careful if you still choose to pursue her, because she could get the courts involved and file a restraining order. Ehh, that would be bad.

  3. #3
    harperc is offline Aspiring PUA
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    Default Re: GF of 2 years left after I cheated. Moved out, no idea where she is

    Wow that is rough man. Like saguviper said she must have been a total clinger to creep on you like that. It's like she didn't trust you at all. And PI's are not cheap, you are right about that. She must have spent a pretty penny on having one follow you.

    My advice would be to forget about her and move on. Go out and fark 10 other girls. Work on yourself, hit the gym and get some new clothes. Make it so that if she ever did see you again, you would be out having a fun with other girls. If she still loves you jealous will make her come back to you. If you really wanted to be bold you could bring some other girl who is hotter than her to the ER where she works. They would have to let you in if one you of was a patient. Show her what she is missing and get her jealous. But if I was you I would forget it. Why would you want a clingy, creepy girl like her who is too stubborn to give you the time of day anymore? You are way better than that man.

  4. #4
    harperc is offline Aspiring PUA
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    Default Re: GF of 2 years left after I cheated. Moved out, no idea where she is

    Thanks both of you for the replies.

    I did think it was kind of creepy with the whole picture thing because we didn't have any trust issues that I knew of. My ex is very level headed and she never acted crazy while we were together. Also I went on many business trips before and I don't think she could have afforded a PI to follow me for all of them. At this point I don't know what to think, if I could talk to her somehow I would just ask her.

    I was thinking of going there as a patient or bringing someone else as a patient so she would have to see me. But I'm not sure that is the best plan. I'm thinking a PI on the sly would be much better. Then I could conveniently "run into" her somewhere random, and talk to her then. This avoids me looking creepy and appears to be just random chance.

  5. #5
    crafty is offline Aspiring PUA
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    Default Re: GF of 2 years left after I cheated. Moved out, no idea where she is

    You cheated , she left... fair enough, deal with it. When you cheated you didnot have a conversation about it with her, why should she have a conversation with you when she's leaving.

    Now a different conversation: the lounge picture. Question what were you doing in the picture with lounge girl? were you talking? kissing? how did you get with that girl did you ask her did she ask you for sex? did you ever think if your girlfriend is the one who hired lounge girl to have sex with you? well you fell in the trap..also fair enough.

  6. #6
    Hutch is offline PUA in Training
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    Default Re: GF of 2 years left after I cheated. Moved out, no idea where she is

    If you cheated on her, you get what you deserved. Her spending that kind of money just to make sure you wouldn't means that she didn't trust you already, implying that you probably gave off the impression that you lacked integrity. In my eyes, if anyone is a cheater, they don't deserve to be in a relationship with the person they hurt. Don't you dare try to flip this on her and make her out to seem like a stalker/clinger, especially when you were caught red-handed. Seriously, take responsibility and man up to what you did, and forget about her. That ship has sailed.

    I think you should use this as an opportunity to reflect, and align your morals and ethics with what you truly want in a relationship. It's one thing if you want to party, go out and get laid a lot now that you're single, you have that right. But if you're going to commit to someone, that is what you do: You commit 100% to them and do not betray a person's trust like that. Ever. If you were planning on getting married to this girl, and you cheated on her when you're out of her sight, then you're not ready for a committed, monogamous relationship, let alone get married to someone.

  7. #7
    Greatmespellcaster is offline Aspiring PUA
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    Default Re: GF of 2 years left after I cheated. Moved out, no idea where she is

    Wow I sorry to hear all what happened between both of you but I would just blame you on your part coz what you did wasn't good enough, It was a cheating on her, well the only idea that I can give you is that it as happened to me before too that I am wanting my ex back the person that help me out if you do mind I can give you his mail address so you could try him, to tell you the truth I am living together now with my ex, just try to let me know if you are interested of mailing the spell magic man that helped me. Thanks

  8. #8
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    meteora is offline PUA All Star
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    Default Re: GF of 2 years left after I cheated. Moved out, no idea where she is

    A PI is expensive but I think it would be worth it because I really want her back.
    a pi isn't going to get her back. as a matter of fact, nothing you say or do is going to get her back. as a matter of fact, everything you are doing, is borderline stalking. stalking her is not going to make her feel better about things.

    my best guess is that she hired a private investigator herself to see if you were cheating. (its actually a growing trend for women getting ready for marriage)

    you rolled the dice, you lost. relationship roulette is a deadly game.


    now you must accept the consequences for your actions. you'll likely never even see her again, let alone have a pleasant conversation with her again. your only choice is to move on.


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