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Thread: GF of 3 Years: Broke up last week, but coming to see me on my Bday

  1. #11
    OldmemberOfPuA is offline Aspiring PUA
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    Default Re: GF of 3 Years: Broke up last week, but coming to see me on my Bday

    Great advice guys. And just to give this thread more hope: She sent me a present and a sweet bday card.

    Doesnt mean its solved everything. But I called her and shook her with how "happy" I was. I talked to her like I didnt care.

    I think if I just back up a bit and let me end the convos first, it can work.

    My main tactic will be keep being funny / attractive. And when shes here, show her how different and upgraded you are. Have a fun trip planned.

  2. #12
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    Default Re: GF of 3 Years: Broke up last week, but coming to see me on my Bday

    Seems like you're overthinking all this. I know it's hella important to you but you gotta prepare yourself to the possibility that you won't get back together and frankly even if you did, things might not be the same.

    I also know how you feel. Leaving someone that you pictured your entire life with... It's hard to leave that behind. But sometimes it's better to start fresh rather than trying to work with something damaged or broken.

    So my advice to you is, if you think it's worth it, don't give up. But be prepared for the negative outcome.
    It's not about who I was or who I'm going to become.

    It's about who I am. Do it right here, right now.

  3. #13
    OldmemberOfPuA is offline Aspiring PUA
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    Default Re: GF of 3 Years: Broke up last week, but coming to see me on my Bday

    Thats what a lot of friends and family are saying.

    - If she takes you back, do ou really want her back. Or

    - If it meant something, even if you guys date other people, youll eventually get back together.


    She has been hot and cold lately. Sounding like she really wants to see me, then going to short responses.

    Is there anyone here who managed to get the guide to work effectively?

  4. #14
    kylemc is offline PUA in Training
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    Default Re: GF of 3 Years: Broke up last week, but coming to see me on my Bday

    What im going to say you may choose to ignore it if you wish but I don't intend to offend or upset you in anyway,

    I think you should take a break from this girl instead of you being strung along. From what you've said on this thread looks as if your head over heels over her and she isn't the same about you.

    Another thing you should take into account is if she really wants to see you she'll make a effort to see you instead of all this hot/cold bs and getting your hopes thinking she wants to see you.

    Instead you should focus on your life and the current girls in it at the moment. When she realises she missed out she'll either come back to you or move on with her life regretting the decision that she made in the past. By then you probably wont want to get back with her.

    Just a thought...
    "A man who stands for nothing, will fall for anything" - Malcom X

  5. #15
    OldmemberOfPuA is offline Aspiring PUA
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    Default Re: GF of 3 Years: Broke up last week, but coming to see me on my Bday

    Yeah theres no way shes head over heels about me the same way.... Because theres huge power in being the dumper instead of the dumpee.

    She is coming this weekend for sure. Still hot / cold, probably having some regret.

    The issue is, from now til Friday, how do we build a good interaction leading up til then? For example if I went NC now things would be awkward in the meet up. Pretty much how do I set the stage for a comeback?

  6. #16
    Kvn07 is offline PUA Forums Respected Contributor
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    Default Re: GF of 3 Years: Broke up last week, but coming to see me on my Bday

    That's simple: Get out of your head and stop overthinking it!! Unfortunately, that's a lot easier said than done.

    I get that this is hard for you man, I've been there (it's the only reason I'm still offering advice) but don't be so quick to ignore the advice because it's not what you want to hear. Your situation isn't as unique as you think it is.

    With that being said, all I can do is advise on the weekend and hope it turns out well for you:
    It's only an issue because you're allowing it to be an issue. If she's really that adamant on coming this weekend then let her keep the interaction up. Plan your weekend around you and let her tag along for the ride. If she doesn't like it and wants to leave, that's not your problem anymore! Don't be a jerk about it though, you simply agree and say "that sucks you're not having fun, if you really want to leave/not come over then I'm not going to stop you".

    One final question, why did she break up with you in the first place? And have you done anything to rectify it?

  7. #17
    OldmemberOfPuA is offline Aspiring PUA
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    Default Re: GF of 3 Years: Broke up last week, but coming to see me on my Bday

    No its not bad advice. But I think a lot of others have said it already. Not ignoring that.

    She broke up with me after seeing girls texting me on my phone. Those were girls I never did anything with. I was also very controlling.

    I have made thise changes its just hard for that to show (unless i throw my phone at her and how do I show uncontrollingness?)

    And yeah I gotta make it fun and carefully escalate.

  8. #18
    Kvn07 is offline PUA Forums Respected Contributor
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    Default Re: GF of 3 Years: Broke up last week, but coming to see me on my Bday

    Ok, well unless they were explicit texts or ones you thought you had to hide from her then, again, that's not your problem! I personally wouldn't want to be with someone that got upset when I talked to other people, I'm a social guy and that's what I'm gonna do. However if you were being controlling then maybe it was a two way street.

    As for the controlling side of things; it's not something I have experience with, although I imagine it would stem from a lack of trust on your part.

    Maybe you need to address with her the fact that you both seem to have trust issues and it's something you both need to work on.

  9. #19
    OldmemberOfPuA is offline Aspiring PUA
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    Default Re: GF of 3 Years: Broke up last week, but coming to see me on my Bday

    For sure man. Im gunna leave my phone where she can play with it, at least for this trip, to let her see I dont even talk to those female friends at all.


    Yesterday was a huge breakthrough and we found each other calling each other by our "sweet names." Makes for a promising weekend right?

    Well damn. Today she shows me she has a letter for jury duty, cant get out if it because she pushed it off twice.

    The weekend was all reserved and set up perfectly. Now I have to keep everything up until next week. A lot can happen til then.

  10. #20
    OldmemberOfPuA is offline Aspiring PUA
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    Default Re: GF of 3 Years: Broke up last week, but coming to see me on my Bday

    Not sure whether to go no contact or whatever for the next week.


    Shes being cold again now. But what got us back in a good-mode was the opposite of no contact.


    Every case is special and it gets harder to determine which route to take knowing shes coming in a week.


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