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  1. #1
    Winmau is offline PUA in Training
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    Default If and how should I break no contact with this one???

    Hi everyone. I pulled this amazing girl from Okcupid about 5 months ago. Conversation went brilliantly and it felt like we knew each other straight away. I should however recognized all the signs of a textbook rebound. She left a 4 year relationship 2 months before we met. Please read though...

    She was head over heels for me quickly. We text everyday for the majority of our 5 month relationship. She was always keen.

    Towards the end of the relationship she called me out the blue for a 121. She said she almost had a panic attack at work and realized that this relationship was actually turning serious and she wasn't sure if she was ready etc. I brought it around brilliantly and said we don't have to move so quickly etc...things were back on track.

    Had sex twice since then, things seemed great. We then went out for food, laughed etc and left on a positive note. I then didn't hear from her for a week! The following texts then proceeded:

    Me: Well Miss XXX..... you have been awfully quiet for a change
    How has your week been? Have you set off on your mini travels yet? x

    Her: She then replied saying I'm a nice lad but she doesn't see us being together, all the best (Seemed like someone else typed it as was kind of blunt and 3rd person. Her next text showed truer emotion)

    Me: XXX I'm lost for words....I guess there's no reasoning or emotion with text. Thank you for your honesty. You are one of the most respectable people I've ever had the pleasure of dating, but you've got to do what makes you happy.

    It would be a lie to say that I haven't got feelings for you. You're great company XXX. The loss is all mine I'm sure.

    Her: I'm sorry XX, I really am.....I know I will regret this and I think it's my loss more than yours...but I really need to clear my head first and it's not fair that I keep leading you on....you deserve someone so much better than me.

    Me: I basically then replied that she is an intelligent girl and I hope that one day her emotions catch up with the strength of her intelligence, Goodbye.

    Now surprisingly I haven't gone over emotional regarding this one. So from an objective perspective, it's now been 3 weeks of no contact. Should I contact her? If so what should I say and at what point?

  2. #2
    T-Mal's Avatar
    T-Mal is offline PUA All Star
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    Default Re: If and how should I break no contact with this one???

    Nope. Just 3 weeks isn't gonna change anything.

    You need to put this on the back-burner for a while.


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  3. #3
    Cody's Avatar
    Cody is offline PUA All Star (RETIRED)
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    Default Re: If and how should I break no contact with this one???

    Kansas City, huh? Go Midwest!

    T-Mal's right. People don't change in three weeks. They don't change in three months. Three years? A small minority

    Most people never change.

    I've got a friend that's one of the highest value guys I know. He's extremely talented, good looking, and was blessed with smart parents that gave him a head start in life (socioeconomic advantages). That said, he's unfortunately a bit of a loser compared to his potential. He works a crappy job that he doesn't enjoy and lacks any true sense of direction. He doesn't know his value.

    This girl may or may not be worth your time. I couldn't tell you. She obviously sees that you're a great (valuable) guy who deserves better than a girl who's currently where she is in life. The fact that she knows she sucks at the moment highers her value slightly, but not to the level of yours.

    She needs time to heal. If it's going to work out it'll be later, when you've put her somewhere in the back of your mind while you focus on your purpose in life. By then you may or may not even care anymore.

    Unfortunately there isn't much advice to give here. If we were hanging out I'd shrug my shoulders and say, "That sucks, man", then tell you to focus on where you're headed.

    You seem like a high value guy, so I'm sure this is just a small bump in the road. Keep on keepin' on. It only gets better.


    (On the off-chance I cause a sensation with "Cody's back!", Winmau PMed me for advice on this thread. I usually browse the Member's Lounge every couple weeks and check my email, then respond if I feel like it)
    Wondering where I am now? Check out my latest project:


  4. #4
    Winmau is offline PUA in Training
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    Default Re: If and how should I break no contact with this one???

    Thanks so much for the feedback guys. I really appreciate it! I actually feel weird that im not bawling my eyes out. I guess ive matured.

    I get the impression she cannot handle being alone so will go back to her ex or find someone new so is potentially a lost cause. I think I probably dlv'd towards the end and showed too much interest so there was nothing for her to chase.

    I see rebounds as a bubble. Play your cards right and they will last forever. One wrong move and they will burst. Always use logic over emotion and they should be easier to game because their emotions are text book. Keep their value lower as you're always being compared to the ex.

    Anyhow I'll try and leave it another month ??before i send her a message. Im not hopeful though....which i guess is a good thing. I think i see that pain is just weakness leaving the body.....I've been here before....i know the drill Lol


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