First of all I would like to say I appreciate any aid I can receive. I have been hoping to get into contact with HardRock as I was looking into his posts and I like this ideas.
None the less, here is my story (which is still unfolding)
About a year ago I was in tip top shape, everything was going well, I had many opportunities in the university, i was confident, happy and I talked to alot of women. I was very focused on my career path.
I met this girl at the time, she was in a relationship for 7 years with another man. At first we was just friends, I was not interested in her, I was interested in like 7 other girls before her. However, I found out she didn't have a car and I felt bad because she had to take the bus everyday. So I decided to give her rides home whenever we had the same class together etc. We became really good friends, we studied the same thing and we like the same stuff.
Eventually I started to catch feelings for her and was confused on whether I should go for this or not because of her boyfriend. I found out her boyfriend at the time cheated on her, neglected her etc. This was her first relationship, well eventually we started to hangout more and more. Long story short we both told one another we liked each other (I did it first, bad move I know). She stated to me she likes me too but her boyfriend was going through some mental health issues and she is sorry she can't leave him and she hope we can be friends. I hurt like hell but I kept it cool.
However, one day I decided to just go in for the kill, I kissed her. She got pissed, and I left. She told me to never talk to her again. I apologize etc, well summer came along I did not see her, we reconciled but I decided to try to spark things up again, in which pissed her off more and she decided not to talk to me. We didn't speak the rest of the summer which was 3 months.
I went back to school, saw her and got her to talk to me. I apologized again and she decided we can still be friends but she needs her space. We ended up doing the same thing again, hanging out and stuff. I obviously didn't know what the heck I was doing at the time but one thing led to another I realize I was using alot of push/pull because in the back of my mind I did not want to screw this dude over. Well eventually her relationship got stale and we ended up hanging out more.
She eventually broke up with him, and dated me two weeks later. (Rebound). After we dated I realized she was moving things so fast, that I had to pause and tell her woah relax. She admitted that she expected the same things from her past relationship with me but she's sorry for doing and she is willing to slow things down. Things started to get better. However, one day she ended up talking to her ex boyfriend, he came over etc. I let it go because I realize if she wants him back then so be it. He cried etc.
A few weeks later she said she was gonna meet up with this one kid (REMEMBER this guy) whom he used to like years back but she didn't have the courage to break up with her boyfriend. This kid and her known each other for like 9 years or something. Once again i let it go, and decided if she cheats on me then I have no control over that. A few days later she started to say that she doesn't know if she's over her relationship and she's not sure if we are a good thing.
I panicked however didn't say anything, I told her to sleep on it and I will see her tomorrow. The next day I pulled her aside and told her "hey listen we just started, how do we know if it will workout or not if we don't go through this process, at the end of the day if you want to leave you can but atleast we can say we tried" She melted and told me that's the cutest thing ever, obviously her mood changed all of a sudden.
Nevertheless, a few months down the road we started to get closer and closer, however my life changed. I graduated and I started two new jobs that I hate. I started to get angry and annoyed about my life and took alot of stuff to her. I will yell and stuff and I let my body, mind, spirit and emotions go. Also I relizeed I was spending so much time with her, she was basically living in my place for like 5 months, I saw her more than i saw my roomate. At first I was not cool with this but I let it slide.
She started to flake and started to say things like we should not talk about marriage and kids and I was confused because she started all that. I agreed, however I found out her family did not like me. Her mother esepcially did not like how "closed off" I seem. I honestly just hate my life at the time being and didn't really want to talk to anyone, I did not want to hangout with them etc.
Eventually she broke up with me and actually stated all the reasons why after we fought. I walked away from her when she texted me, then she got upset over that so I decided to try to talk to her. I did the stupid, I went to meet with her, however I laughed at the situation (she didn't she was damn serious). I beg and pleaded and chased like an idiot, I realzied this was not going no where, so I walked away. She texted me a whole bunch of crap saying shes sorry we didnt workout. I ignored, then I decided im going to let go with grace. I apologized we didnt work out and told her i hope she finds someone that treats her well. It was actually a good goodbye.
Well the next day, my dumbass decided to purchase a ticket to go see her concert show. Her sister found out, told her and she blew the hell up. She called me like crazy and said we need to exchange our stuff NOW. she was so mad, I was confused, I tried to explain that I promised her I will go and she said no things are different why would you do that. Nevertheless we fought like crazy over texting and I just said I'm sorry and let it go.
A few weeks later I saw her at a dance, she didnt look at me. A few weeks later I saw her at graduation gave her a hug, once again she barely looked at me. She looks away when she sees me. Well I went NC for like 40 days after that, and then texted her something. She responded neutrally. Then 3 days later I texted her about fathers day, in which she replied "I dont know if you are trying to talk to me, but in the nicest way possible I want to tell you please dont talk to me" so i decided to say sorry but i ended getting emotional and text her alot, She got mad as hell and told me not contact her.
I found out one week after she dumped me she and her friend (9 years of friendship) hung out, well long story short 3 weeks after she dumped my ass she is with him. Posting all these facebook photos, and she deleted every single photo of me and her. She kept the ones with her 7 year old relationship. She deleted me off facebook etc. My friends didnt tell me shit so I got mad at them for not telling me as I made a fool of myself by contacting her.
A week ago i texted her "Hey i realized the break up was a good decision, good things are happening for me, things happens for a reason" she responed "exactly!, im glad good things are happening for you, me as well (new boyfriend) and I always said things happen for a reason". I said "awesome, well i have to go, later" she responded "bye".
So basically I don't really have a question, I just want to know how to deal with this situation moving forward. Our relationship was 7 months long, however if you include the time when we was flirting etc, it will be a year. I have to spend the next two years in the same classes with this chick. Half my heart tells me to move on, and the other half says "are you man enough to try again"?
Any advice will be helpful.
Thank you guys from the bottom of my heart.