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  • 1 Post By Alergy

Thread: Not contact for a month, talking again now what!?

  1. #1
    Tucker1908 is offline Aspiring PUA
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    Default Not contact for a month, talking again now what!?

    I was dating a girl for 2 and a half years and things were great for a long time but by the end of our relationship "the excitement fizzled away", in her words. I ended up leaving her and the break up wasn't too bad because we both knew it was coming. I went over a month without contacting her at all and last week sent her a text and we talked for a bit and she actually asked me over that night to have a coffee. During this time she mentioned a few times that she definitely didn't want a relationship but never mentioned anything about us just being friends.

    I'm wondering what you guys would think is my best way to get her back to wanting to be in a relationship.
    Should I tell her how I feel and just walk away if that's not what she wants?
    Or should I play the game and text her now and then and hang out occasionally working towards reigniting that spark?
    Any help would be awesome

  2. #2
    Alergy is offline PUA Forums Respected Contributor Achievements:
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    Default Re: Not contact for a month, talking again now what!?

    she said that the excitement "fizzled" away, use that to your advantage, show her how exciting your exciting side, no need to "sell" yourself by telling that you still have feelings for her but rather "trying to be friends". Be sure to make the interactions exciting, cause remember that's what she lacked in the relationship, if you see ioi's from her you can escalate, if not then there is no point to sell yourself so fast because it will most likely seem pathetic and will end with rejection. Analyze your game, try to build as much attraction as possible without putting pressure on her, there's no need to show that you don't give a $hit about her and playing hard to get, but just try to be cool with the idea of being friends while trying to work her completely-under the radar

  3. #3
    Tucker1908 is offline Aspiring PUA
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    Default Re: Not contact for a month, talking again now what!?

    Thanks Alergy for taking the time to respond.
    I totally agree that my best chance is taking the friend approach and working her under the radar.
    Shes very respondent with texts and everything and has told me she wants to hang out so I'll take those as a sign she's interested even though she has told me she doesn't want a relationship.

  4. #4
    flyingwhale is offline Aspiring PUA
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    Default Re: Not contact for a month, talking again now what!?

    Quote Originally Posted by Tucker1908 View Post
    Shes very respondent with texts and everything and has told me she wants to hang out so I'll take those as a sign she's interested even though she has told me she doesn't want a relationship.
    I'm just gonna say what I would do and have done in similar situations:

    - Although she is very respondent with texts still try to be in control, end the conversation first most of the time and don't ask (or even appear to ask) for stuff. Like for example I wouldn't ask questions that can only be answered with yes or no even if I'm SURE she would say yes, for example: instead of "you wanna hang out at bla bla bla?" I usually say something like: "let's hang out at .... we can do..../bring..." and in general I avoid to even ask her opinion on stuff in these situations, I make statements most of the time... in this way she can comment/ say something if she wants and you don't give a needy impression

    - Make yourself scarce for her and give a positive, vey good impression each time you meet/ text/ etc. She has to get a feeling like "I never knew this side of him" and "I want to spend more time with him"

    - At any cost never NEVER appear needy. From my experience it is way better to even appear aloof, arrogant or indifferent, it is better to give her a negative feeling rather than making her look at you and think "poor guy"

    What you should try to avoid is being slowly friendzoned like cooking a frog... and realize it later in a brutal way. That's why is important to be in control all the time, have the upper hand. - If this is what you refer to by "working her under the radar" then I think it's a very good strategy

    I had an ex who broke up with me twice, out of impulsivity, and each time she came back (I cut contact with her completely, and completely ignored her if I bumped into her), like after 2-3 days she contacted me telling me she wanna talk. Each time she began talking by saying how she doesn't want a relationship, but her whole body language and actions were saying the opposite.


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