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  1. #1
    Mgx11 is offline Aspiring PUA
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    Default She says she lost attraction

    Okay, let's start from the top, i met this amazing girl through mutual friends mid May of 2015, we are both muslim just throwing that out there...we hit it off right away and I could tell from her body language that she was attracted to me. We texted quite alot and it wasnt one sided. The chase was 50-50. About a month later, we admitted to each other that we had a crush on each other and started acting in a more romantic rather than platonic in our relationship. We talked about the future alot (again, we both brought it up and it wasnt one sided). We talked about kids/getting married/travelling.. Etc. Since she was muslim and her parents were very strict she felt weird about dating and she had never dated before. I'm also muslim but i'm not strict and I date a girl if I think there is a chance in a future with her. We hung out with mutual friends alot and they could tell we were into each other as we couldnt keep our eyes/hands off each other. Come July and she has clearly started being distant with me and being cold. I confronted her about it and she said she was losing feelings and that she needs the space/time to miss me. I did as she asked and at a mutual friends birthday about a week later, everyone thought we were a couple and it looked like we had been dating for years. Eventually she asked me for coffee/desert date and it was great. ( or so i thought). Her hot/cold behaviour was sporadic. One day she would flirt with me and the next she would be ice cold. I confronted her again through text and she said she wants to meet up. I agreed and deep down I KNEW we were going to break up. She said she lost attraction and that the chase wasnt there for her as she felt like she has me( yep, i fucked this one up), she asked if we can stay friends and I stupidly agreed, so we were "friends" for about a month from august to september but she went on vacation for the most part so i never saw her but we still texted. When she returned from vacation, we met up with a mutual friend and went out to our favourite hangout where again she was flirty with me and touching my arm and being close and I would have my arm around her. About a week after this we met up again but this time she pulled me aside from our friends and told me that friends don't put their arms like that around each other, and I said fine. My birthday came in early september and she showed up to dinner and bought me gifts that I appreciated and wrote a card with meaning that only me and her would really understand. Keep in mind we still text almost everyday but not like before. I thought about everything and decided I was going to try no contact. I told her i wasnt going to be around anymore and if she changes her mind about me to give me a call, NC lasted around 23 days and she did not contact me once ( she snap chatted something meaningful to make me miss her but i ignored it), i dont think that really counts. She knows i opened it and ignored it so she never bothered to contact me again. I'll also mention that during NC i went out to dinner with mutual friends and she was there. We just smiled politley but I never said a sigle word to her. So NC finished and she never really contacted me during it which kinda had me down. I was talking to other girls that were interested during NC and I went out alot to clubs but nothing developed of it. I did work on myself, i'm always at the gym( and always was), and i focused on school. I initiated contact to see how she was and she replied almost immediatley. I suggested we meet up to catch up in a friendly manner. She didnt seem excited to hear from me, she agreed to meet up saying: "yea, i don't mind". She was still acting cold and probably so that she doesnt lead me on or send mixed signals... So we met up for lunch, caught up with life/school/family/work and we were laughing and smiling the whole time (no mention of the breakup), at one point she was gonna ask me something but she said she probably shouldnt so I just let it go. I made the meeting short( 1 hour), so that she can want more later on. She never initiates anything anymore, and after the meet up we just hugged goodbye and i said lets do this again soon. I snap chatted her the next morning about something that will give her a laugh( we havent snapchatted each other for a month, but we still viewed each others stories), she snap chatted back a picture of her and a friendly comment regarding my snap. I feel as though im still chasing and she still isnt interested in me anymore. I hoped that NC would get her to miss me, but i feel like its the same as before. I'm considering going NC again and just giving up on her... I just need some advice..... - some side notes...- she was jealous that her friend was texting me alot( while we were broken up) and she said she doesnt know why...- we're the same age, 23... If you have read this far, you are a hero... If you have any questions, please let me know as I may have missed something.

  2. #2
    Sam981 is offline PUA Forums Respected Contributor
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    Default Re: She says she lost attraction

    1. Please use paragraphs. Your post is one long sea of words which nobody's going to read.

    2. Which country you are from ?? I am a Muslim too btw.

    3. Only read half of your post where you broke up and remained as freinds.

    Well here's my take on this and I announce that I am no expert. Just giving my opinion.

    1. Since dating is against the religious values, she's gonna feel the ASD (anti slut defence) on and off. And since girls are emotional, its likely that she couldn't bear the thought of going into a relationship.

    2. May be her hot/cold behaviour was not the ASD but manipulation. You acted needy in some way and she lost interest, which is likely if you are no longer a challenge for the girl.

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