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Thread: Have been needy, now what ?

  1. #1
    Ian198547 is offline Aspiring PUA
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    Default Have been needy, now what ?

    Hey guys.

    Looking for some advice on this one.

    I suffer from severe anxiety, especially around breakups. Was with this girl for 9 months, no oneitis, I've thought and thought and she's the one I want.

    We broke up about a month and a half ago and since I've been needy and AFC. I really struggle to control it sometimes. But we have been talking and whatever and I've asked to meet in 2 months and she's agreed and I'm going NC until then. What do you think ?

  2. #2
    Alergy is offline PUA Forums Respected Contributor Achievements:
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    Default Re: Have been needy, now what ?

    you didn't state a reason for your break up, but I assume it was because you were a needy AFC while you were still with her, stop being one, while you're not going to see her for the next 2 months, improve yourself and improve your game, not for her but for yourself, if she doesn't like you then, you know where you stand.

  3. #3
    Ian198547 is offline Aspiring PUA
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    Default Re: Have been needy, now what ?

    Quote Originally Posted by Alergy View Post
    you didn't state a reason for your break up, but I assume it was because you were a needy AFC while you were still with her, stop being one, while you're not going to see her for the next 2 months, improve yourself and improve your game, not for her but for yourself, if she doesn't like you then, you know where you stand.
    The reason for the breakup as given by her was that she just can't do relationships and wants to try open relationships. But I'm starting to believe it was because I was AFC. She started hanging out with this dude a lot while I was at work (I work away) and I told her I wasn't comfortable with it and that's where it all started.

  4. #4
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    Tyrone1991 is offline PUA All Star
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    Default Re: Have been needy, now what ?

    You are better then her. period.

    Understand this.

    You do not want to be in a relationship with a girl that needs other males attention. In the next two months you will be far better then you were.

    I know break ups are scary when you are the one who is attached, Find something that occupies your time, do a martial art, lift weights or do absolutely anything. Try the things you always wanted to try and have fun.

    Then find other women to talk to. She will realize what she lost when you have proven you don't need her anymore, girls don't want what they already have, show her that you do not need her and she will most likely start to have all the feels.

    Do not give a woman the power of owning you if she is willing to break your heart. Make her want you by showing disinterest.

    Also realise you have the potential of greatness and understand that statistics show that there are more women on earth then men and even more available women then men on earth with gay to lesbian rations and prison populations mostly being male aswell as military, police etc.

    Statistically you have the advantage.

    Her loss. Not yours.
    Men, we need to value our time more then we value women. This isn't to say women are not valuable. But who are we to believe in something so illogical, as men we should realize that without our time(life), we would not even be able to pursue women, but only our mother who gave us life. Why do we think we should prioritize them over our time(life) unless she is the one who gives me/my children life. Man is Sovereignty.

  5. #5
    Ian198547 is offline Aspiring PUA
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    Default Re: Have been needy, now what ?

    Thanks Tyrone. You got your head screwed on by the sounds of it.

    Today it's got to the point of her blocking me and saying don't talk to me until we meet in two months. What do I do when she contacts me to see if we're still on in a couple months ?

  6. #6
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    Tyrone1991 is offline PUA All Star
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    Default Re: Have been needy, now what ?

    Ok, you are looking at this wrong,

    you should be planning your next two months, you went out with her for quite some time. you would have mutual friends on social media.

    Its time to have some cheeky fun.

    Post photos of you out clubbing having a great time, post things like going skydiving or just having fun with Gym or what ever activity you are doing, write comments like "this was the best decision of my life"& " love this activity so much"

    Then Her friends/ your friends/ mutual friends will start talking about you. she will realize that you are having fun without her, then she will start to feel like she has lost you and will contact you.

    But the activity your doing has to be something new, to represent a new you. something that will get her curious.

    When she does contact you, say something like "hey a catch up would be great, be nice to see an old friend"

    That will devalue her as relationship worthy and just friends causing her to be more interested because you are better then her, then you will make her earn you back. no running back to her.

    The more she tries to earn it, the more she will want you, after a while it will be so ingrained in her head she will never want to loose her.

    Look Up negs, dhv, and look at some of my threads i have created, see if they will come in handy.

    Let me know what your plan is, activities, if you add me on Facebook, i can help you seem more attractive.
    Men, we need to value our time more then we value women. This isn't to say women are not valuable. But who are we to believe in something so illogical, as men we should realize that without our time(life), we would not even be able to pursue women, but only our mother who gave us life. Why do we think we should prioritize them over our time(life) unless she is the one who gives me/my children life. Man is Sovereignty.

  7. #7
    Sam981 is offline PUA Forums Respected Contributor
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    Default Re: Have been needy, now what ?

    Quote Originally Posted by Ian198547 View Post
    Thanks Tyrone. You got your head screwed on by the sounds of it.

    Today it's got to the point of her blocking me and saying don't talk to me until we meet in two months. What do I do when she contacts me to see if we're still on in a couple months ?
    Get over her and move on. She's clearly not interested and with this kind of behaviour you wouldn't want to be with her anyways. Can't you see she's treating you like shit? Have some self respect. Find other girls not to make her jelous but because you value yourself and will not put up with a girl who doesn't offer you any value.

  8. #8
    Tyrone1991's Avatar
    Tyrone1991 is offline PUA All Star
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    Default Re: Have been needy, now what ?

    also, do not trust a single person about this, your best friend can be your worst enemy, if you tell him you are trying to win her back, he can tell another and another until it gets to her.

    Just say to everyone you "just having fun now that you can, and trying all the things you ever wanted too"
    Men, we need to value our time more then we value women. This isn't to say women are not valuable. But who are we to believe in something so illogical, as men we should realize that without our time(life), we would not even be able to pursue women, but only our mother who gave us life. Why do we think we should prioritize them over our time(life) unless she is the one who gives me/my children life. Man is Sovereignty.

  9. #9
    Tyrone1991's Avatar
    Tyrone1991 is offline PUA All Star
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    Default Re: Have been needy, now what ?

    Sam981 is right! you should get over her, which you probably will in the two months, but for the sake of what you posted for help on this forum, I choose to answer it rather then give my own personal opinion only.

    But I meant what I said "you are better then her. Period!"
    Men, we need to value our time more then we value women. This isn't to say women are not valuable. But who are we to believe in something so illogical, as men we should realize that without our time(life), we would not even be able to pursue women, but only our mother who gave us life. Why do we think we should prioritize them over our time(life) unless she is the one who gives me/my children life. Man is Sovereignty.

  10. #10
    Ian198547 is offline Aspiring PUA
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    Default Re: Have been needy, now what ?

    Thanks guys. What's your Facebook name Tyrone I'll add ya.

    For me it's more about the power. I don't necessarily want her back, I just want the power back. I want her to want me and to be aware of what she lost so I can be the one who says no. I'll Suss out those threads today.

    Anyone offer any advice on anxiety ? I'm doing everything I can to help myself but sometimes it's too much and takes over, when she contacts me it's just too hard to stop the convo and then I end up being an AFC and hassling and then she runs the opposite direction like a scared cat.


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