Hello PUA Nation,
Hope everyone is doing well. About two weeks ago everything was fine and dandy leading up to Christmas. The GF of 10 years was coming home in 2 weeks after being gone for 1.5 years, work was going well, I'm fit, got money, everything's good..... Boom out of nowhere as I planned on speaking with my gf on Watsaap she ends it with me. Now before I go into why she was in England and what had happened il give you a quick break down of our past.
Past: I met this girl when i was 13 years old (high school), Were now 26. I liked her best friend at the time and we ended up clicking right then and there. We dated for a year in grade 9 and I ended up cheating on her with her best friend. We had a small break and she had her fun with random guys to get back at me(including my best friends lol) but eventually we decided hey we love each other, lets stop this. After that we were good until grade 12. I went away for soccer for two years where I was about an hour drive from her but we would see each other on weekends and talk on the phone every night. For two years we were perfect and we were both faithful and felt like we could take on anything. We made it through cheating in high school and then a 2 year long distance relationship. I came home in 2010 and then finished school while being with her for another 5 years. Everything was perfect and we both felt like we were best friends and did everything together. She graduated college about 1.5 years ago and wanted to travel, this was always the plan. She finished her education in teaching and thought it would be cool if she found a place where she could get paid room and board while gaining teaching experience, well guess what she found one. She was so sared to go but got offered a gig with teaching experience in England for 1.5 years. I obviousley didnt want her to go but it didnt feel right to not let her have this amazing experience because of me. I also didnt think anything of it because I knew nothing could change what we had. Well that 1.5 years was coming to an end in 4 days from now and last week she called me and broke up with me....
Her reasons for wanting it to end and my responses:
- I never wanted to hang out with her family as they wanted me to come over every single day. I had stayed at their cabin for weeks on end, even babysat their dog so they new me well enough. I admit I wasn't adamant on coming over everyday. The thing was back in the day when we broke up in high school this was a major issue so i worked on it to make her feel better and it got better. Overtime it went back to normal but she never brought it to my attention, not even once or I would have reached out to the family more. So this excuse felt like B.S to me as I would have worked on it.
- She said I never even came out to see her in Europe....I honestly had financially been drained here for family reasons and couldn't get away. She had never once mentioned she even wanted me too though. We have always been good with communication so for her not too say anything doesnt make any sense. I admit because we had an 8 hour time difference it was tough to skype and always be on top of things but I made sure to say I love you and goodnight everytime I went to bed. I even said Ill come out right now on December 27th, I was ready to go. She said it wouldnt have changed anything and is too late.
- I asked did you meet anyone, and she said no. I think she would be honest with me as all the cards were on the table and I didnt feel like she would lie to me like that.
- She said she has changed so much and doesn't think she will make me happy, whatever the fuck that means. Did she gain 40 lb?
Our ending of the conversation was her saying how much she still loves me and Im her best friend and she still thinks we should talk. Of course because I fucking love her I was like yah thats a great idea blah blah blah, I'm dumb I know. So the next couple days ago by and im trying to be the bubbly guy and happy/jokey person she always loved hoping she will fall back with me when she gets home which will be 3 days from now. Then one night I'm like fuck this are u kidding me, I waited this long being faithful when I had pussy thrown at me every weekend....so I wrote an email to her addressing all her statements. She responded the next day with a long one back saying at the end, I didn't want to say this because it seems harsh but I just don't love you anymore. Well truthfully its what I needed to hear to stop talking to her. So I pretty much say okay well i hope you have a great rest of your trip and happy new year/xmas and if you want to be friend when u get home the ball is in your court and you can contact me..i know gave her all the power lol, dumb again. So we don't talk up until new years i'm out with the boys shit faced when she send me a message saying happy new year and i hope your having a good day. My phone dies which is actually good or I probably would have called her and did something stupid. So I make out with a couple chicks that night and feel a bit better. Join tinder and am feeling a bit better but i'm obviously still crushed. I read the : How to text your ex back" and was thinking of doing this but not too sure yet.
She gets home on January 8th and I have two sides telling me what to do. The first one says this dumb bitch, I waited for 1.5 years and she had the selfishness to end things two weeks before she comes home. Doesn't she realize she has been in a different world for 1.5 years and things will change drastically when she gets home.....And I want to fuck girls and go so Hard as a motherfucker chasing pussy that I will never think of this girl again. Than the other side of me says you need to chill, your hurt and emotional. Give it time and then come back as friends as i don't want to throw away 10 years of life with someone. Should I start texting her some across the bow text to start winning her back because I'm sure she will feel different when we actually see each other. Or do I say fuck you i'm taking my time away from you and not even saying have a safe flight home or welcome home like I already said I would before. I still feel hurt but I also do missing just talking to her as my friend.............. ......we were best friends for ten fucking years. Any advise that's actually helpful is appreciated. From one man to another I thank you.