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  1. #1
    adamhun is offline Aspiring PUA
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    Default Would need advice for breakup after 4yrs

    Dear fellow aspiring and fully-grown PUAs!

    As one of the newest members of the forums, I'd like to know your input on my situation.

    I'm a 24 yrs old guy from Budapest, Hungary, never thought of myself as a prime alpha, but had my fun years of picking up girls in the first few years in uni, nothing too serious though. It all changed when I met a girl when I was 20 and spent the next 4 years with her.

    After the last few months of struggling in the relationship (she didn't seem happy with me, passive towards me, etc.), it was put on 'hold' last December, and the final break up was a few days ago, on 2 Jan. She confessed that she lacked some sparkle, and truth is it really became a bit dull for the last few months (mainly my fault, but not entirely), I took her for granted which was a big mistake. Random guy from work was hitting on her since September, but she resisted, yet she became uncertain about her intentions with me at the end of the process (herself feeling bad for not being able to make me happy, him trying so hard with her while our situation became dull and a bit boring).

    So we broke up on the phone on 2 Jan, I went really AFC because during the break I realised how much I wanted her back. Still we managed to have a decent conversation, saying nice things to each other, I was glad that the uncertainty of the break period was over, but I still felt that I don't want to lose her. 2 days after we met in Uni, 2 exams together and a face-2-face conversation about the closure, was painful, lot of emotions, and I somehow made her feel uncertain about her intentions yet again, but she didn't want to lose credibility for reversing the whole breakup. I still don't believe that she broke up with me wholeheartedly, and I know that she still has strong feelings for me. I felt that when we had this conversation it was like back in the old days with lot of jokes, laughing, even if the topic was serious...

    Now we're on NC after I told her we shouldn't speak for a while, even if she wanted to remain in contact, it wouldn't be beneficial for neither of us. But still, all I can think of what the other guy is doing to her, even if she told me that she's not sure about all of it. The reason why I'm so annoyed about this that I was her first in everything and I was always tormented by the thought that someone will have sex with her if we eventually break up.

    I know I'll have to man up, change a few things, find new hobbies, keep myself busy and after the NC I'll probably have some chance with her, but the other guy causes big problems in my head and it's really hard to let go.

    So what do you think? What more can I do? I need to get in full controll of things, but how do I do it?

    Great forum btw, helped me a lot <3

  2. #2
    Kvn07 is offline PUA Forums Respected Contributor
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    Default Re: Would need advice for breakup after 4yrs

    I've said this more than once before, but go and read Cody's post "How To Get Your Ex Back By Cody". Read it, read all the links and repeat, repeat and repeat at least one more time!!

    Break-ups suck! I feel for you, mate, I do! I can't really add anything that isn't covered in the above link, but you're on the right track. You know you need to keep yourself busy, so do it. I would recommend (from personal experience) joining a gym and getting your health right. Even better if you can join a small fitness class/bootcamp. For me, exercising helps fight the anxiety and if it's group exercise it forces you to be social.

    Also, don't let yourself believe that she may be second guessing the break-up. It's done! Accept it and start moving on. You're only torturing yourself for longer if you continue thinking about how you're going to get her back.

    Go check out those links and start progressing with your life. I know it's hard to believe right now but there are so so, SO many girls out there that will make you forget about this one

  3. The Following User Says Thank You to Kvn07 For This Useful Post:

    adamhun (01-09-2016)

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