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  1. #1
    Tomex is offline Aspiring PUA
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    Default Confused on how to deal with this EX stuff?

    Whatup guys, long story short, Ive been in LTR with this girl for 2 years, we kinda broke up about a month ago (month and a week or so). She was the one who left me. Relationship was pretty great in general BUT we both at times acted immaturely and I take responsibility for some stupid/not nice things that I have done to her. She is really great girl in general and we both ,,match'' so to say, but we had an argument which, because of her being a girl and me not being a man enough, developed into some shit and she decided that I have hurt her too much and there we go. Keep in mind that we still loved and felt attraction to each other at the time. After breakup I really tried to apologize and fix shit, but she was kinda aloof and it seemed that she doesnt want to get into serious relationship, so I said fuck it to myself, its either serious or nothing at all, and I stopped doing whatever I was doing. Did no contact for a month (tho she wrote me couple of times at the end of that NC month, some emotional stuff). I have def gone through some shit, I mean I really loved the chick, but at the same time I managed to get out, meet some new people, have fun, experience new stuff and basically become my not so chodish self again. However, she started writing me couple of days ago, dropping shit like ,,did u kiss anyone?" and ,,do you have new girls in your life?" and ,,I didnt really want to leave you" you get the idea. But at the same time she she says she wants to be my bestfriend (lol fuck that, tho of course this might be just her trying not to give out that she want to get back blabla, dunno). Yesterday we had this a bit overly emotional talk, she was like ,,I cant forget you, block me please'', ,,Im trying to delete all the pics with u" and I got involved emotionally too much, said ,,Sorry I cant do this anymore" and blocked her for half an our or smth (ye dramatic and stupid as fuck, I know). Since then silence. SO guys, as you notice, I want to give it another chance and get back together, and yes, I know that this shit is risky and I might get hurt again and all, but well, at least I will have tried and will have some new life experience lol. How do approach this situation? Do I just mind my own business and respond only if she writes, or should I show some initiative, try to schedule a meet up, talk and see where it goes? Im confused about how to handle all this getting back your ex shit, so any help would be appreciated ) P.S. Again, I know this sounds chodish to most of you, maybe because it is, but well, we were together for 2 years and had tons of fun, grew as persons together and broke up because of some stupid shit, so I at least want to give it a shot - if I screw up and it all goes to shit, well, Ill know it myself next time, Thanks for understanding, peace

  2. #2
    Kyl3's Avatar
    Kyl3 is offline PUA Forums Respected Contributor
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    Default Re: Confused on how to deal with this EX stuff?

    I would stop being so emotional with her. The main thing is you need to be a better man than when she left you. Also, stop texting her so much and don't always reply.

    i'd call her, set-up a fun easy hangout to catch up as old friends. It's important that you disqualify her like this by telling it's just as old friends.

    go for a walk in the park, coffee and a walk, idk. Something easy and active where you're both moving and can have fun. I say moving to get the blood pumping and if the conversation dies down you're still doing something.

    make it last 30mins to an hour then cut it short. Tell her you had fun, and nothing else. Don't talk to her for a week and then call her again, and repeat.

    by the third "hangout" she'll be chasing and wanting you back like crazy.

  3. #3
    Tomex is offline Aspiring PUA
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    Default Re: Confused on how to deal with this EX stuff?

    Quote Originally Posted by Kyl3 View Post
    I would stop being so emotional with her. The main thing is you need to be a better man than when she left you. Also, stop texting her so much and don't always reply.

    i'd call her, set-up a fun easy hangout to catch up as old friends. It's important that you disqualify her like this by telling it's just as old friends.

    go for a walk in the park, coffee and a walk, idk. Something easy and active where you're both moving and can have fun. I say moving to get the blood pumping and if the conversation dies down you're still doing something.

    make it last 30mins to an hour then cut it short. Tell her you had fun, and nothing else. Don't talk to her for a week and then call her again, and repeat.

    by the third "hangout" she'll be chasing and wanting you back like crazy.
    Thanks for reply, mate!

    Thing is I have written her once only, and that happened yesterday xd And I was emotional only once, learned from the mistake. Met her at school today, she sat near me when I was eating, started talkin, asked why I wrote her and was receptive and warm. I was chill about, handled it in a friendly way. From this point, should I show some initiative or just let her write me and wait till she invites me somewhere?

  4. #4
    Kyl3's Avatar
    Kyl3 is offline PUA Forums Respected Contributor
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    Default Re: Confused on how to deal with this EX stuff?

    Sounds like she was showing interest. You have to remember, things weren't working because you weren't being enough of a man for her before right? Show her you've became a better man.

    is this high school?? Makes a big difference. Lol

    I would take iniative, and leave all the Fluff and small talk for the birds. You already know each other there's no need for the small talk. Text her "hey, what's your schedule look like this week?"

    When she replies say "I'm busy (blah blah whatever days she's also busy) but I'm free (pick a night she's also free) and I want to hangout and catch-up like old friends. Let's go (wherever you're going to take her)"

    if she's hesitant or apprehensive say "Oh come on! It's just coffee as old friends it'll be fun" (replace coffee with whatever you're planning on doing with her.)

    go from there.

  5. #5
    Tomex is offline Aspiring PUA
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    Default Re: Confused on how to deal with this EX stuff?

    Quote Originally Posted by Kyl3 View Post
    Sounds like she was showing interest. You have to remember, things weren't working because you weren't being enough of a man for her before right? Show her you've became a better man.

    is this high school?? Makes a big difference. Lol

    I would take iniative, and leave all the Fluff and small talk for the birds. You already know each other there's no need for the small talk. Text her "hey, what's your schedule look like this week?"

    When she replies say "I'm busy (blah blah whatever days she's also busy) but I'm free (pick a night she's also free) and I want to hangout and catch-up like old friends. Let's go (wherever you're going to take her)"

    if she's hesitant or apprehensive say "Oh come on! It's just coffee as old friends it'll be fun" (replace coffee with whatever you're planning on doing with her.)

    go from there.
    Yuup its highschool, its our last year. And I guess that sounds like a plan, Im just kind of afraid of showing too much interest myself but Im also tired of this shit, I want to either get back or cut shit loose for real


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