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Thread: My first GF.

  1. #1
    gab
    gab is offline Aspiring PUA
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    Default My first GF and getting back together (after damage is done)

    Hey guys im Gabor (28) not native english so i'll try my best to express myself here since the one and only reliable pua forum in my country is gone for good. Im pretty much late in the game and i dont concider myself as a pua, i would say i have my moments and people around me like me from the first sight.
    I started my sexual life 4 yrs ago and ive been with 4 girls only since then and with only one i had relationship(only sex rs doesnt count for me).
    So here is the deal, it will be a pretty long read but i try to wrap things up....

    ...i hooked up with my girlfriend, lets call her M(22) last summer, on august 1st. She is sort of a co-worker altough we only have contact trough phone. I added her on facebook and started to game her, she was single and after 2-3 weeks i arranged a drinking night for the two of us wich ended up in sex, wich she clearly knew about where this will go. For one month we just had a blast, a sex only month. Okay occasionally i took her out for a few beer mainly because i wanted to and she also liked that program aswell. ONCE i did something romantic wich included rooftop+pizza+wine+c andle+stargazing. After a month she brought food for me and also gifts, also she stated we are not fuckbuddies but we are dating and she insisted to take me to her place to introduce to her parents at last after 2 months. Until then i was in charge so she was happy aswell and she was chasing me or...lets say it was a healthy back and forth.

    On that night i was a little bit of a duchebag and made her a bit jealous so she left me at a party me without noticing her. I called her right away and she came back without any word asap....aaand we had a fight and i was a little bitch mostly because of the booze+weed but i couldnt help myself and i teared up in front of her. She even wanted to break up with me on the next day but one of our common girlfriend convinced her not to ...and because probably my behaviour of apologizing only about throwing up all night in her mothers toilette not about whining.

    But ever since it all become rugher week by week...she started to test me how much an alpha am i, is she made the right choice to pick me. And for the most part i didnt even noticed it, that was my best move. She did these stupid "i break up with you" and in the next morning "sorry im in love with you i dont want this to end" messages wich ignored or wich i replied with a smiley face.
    But we had other fights too...serious stuffs where i rather said fuck this and ignored her and ofcourse after a while it didnt worked anymore. It ended up where she said stuffs...."i dont want to go over if you are sad because you have problems at college" and she even dumped me officially and she told that to others too...but even after that she said she misses and to get back together, but she didnt act like that we are together in public on a party and i pulled her away to ask her whats up and she was bullshitting something ofcourse. So i left her at that party...she called me right away and came after me. BUT even after that at home she couldnt be reason with.


    THEN I broke up with her...after 2 weeks of being friends she came over 3 more times and ofcourse we had sex and stuff but it was miserable. She even got up in the middle of the sex bitching about any word, any touch and dressed up and rather went to sleep. That happened two times. After our last meeting she wrote on facebook that she is done with me. I was like "okay" (shes done that few times so who cares). Then she tried to adjust her working schedule not get in touch with me on phone but she still was the one who wrote on me on messenger, i wasnt needy at all or duchebag with her...just saying "stop bitching its not our relationship anymore i dont care" and stuffs like that.


    We havent talked much...and well it wouldnt be all lost if i hadnt lost it durnig X-mas. I texted her some needy shit that i miss her, she should block me on FB so i stop seeing her at least. Then after xmas came the jealousy, i literally asked her on FB if she hooked up with one of my cooworkers or not? Since there was a rumor and i just...couldnt handle it. I needed to know and she told me yes shes got someone but i dont know him. (This dude is gone by now for weeks btw, i know..there was one cool guy she added on FB since we broke up and she deleted him on the first week of January)

    On january 1st i wrote some crazy shit to her when i was drunk as i felt really offended...ofcourse she replied the same way. She said she doesnt love me anymore, that im a child, that i havent stepped up for myself when she was bitching, she was seeing someone right on that day when she broke up with me, she is with the One now shes been wanted for so long, i should forget her and get a new girl and she doesnt wanna be a friend of mine since the way i acted in the past weeks. (i dont blame her ) So i wrote some duche stuff back that she is right, i wasnt a real man in the last month and i couldnt even be one right now but i could get her back if i want to but wouldnt make any sense because exactly of that and that she probably wants to be back together later one day but by then it wont be so sure that i still will want it.

    After that 2 weeks complete silence on all channels. I hooked up with a girl from the internet on the 4th of january meanwhile(this broken heart guy stuff works out well ), had sex with her on the first night so i still got the game and i have sex with here ever since...but the more time i spend with her the more i realize how much i miss my girlfriend. So for two weeks i was brainstorming wtf to do now...i told pretty much everything about my feelings and about the new girl to our common girlfriend(i forgot to told you that i fuck*d this common friend of M and mine a year ago too, M knew about it), probably she told M everything, so M basicly knows that im seeing someone yet i still love her pretty badly. In the meantime two weeks ago she blocked me on FB but only on chat, funny since we havent talked in 3 weeks tho...in response a few days later i deleted her, yeah i know im a little girl.
    Oh the icing on the cake, after that, last saturday i sent her a text message (:/) something about "no matter how much an ass you are sometimes and that you ran away with that dude who probably dumped u already and no matter if i woke up today next to the 2nd or the 20th girl in the future after you, ill always miss your smell" This needy stuff reminding her all the wrong between us.

    But...this thursday and friday she popped up in a part time position at my department in work. So we saw eachother in the past days and we will see in the next two. I havent done anything other than saying hi to her.
    BUT she sticks around 1,5 hours after her shift ends to wait for a lift to get her home where she could go home in appr 40 minutes by herself....and ofcourse my work time is still on meanwhile and im there for her to see me.




    BTW During our relationship i wasnt needy, or jealous at all...i just havent stepped up enough times, havent tried to meet her more when she was available, havent tried to make our dates more intresting, i also havent tried to be special in bed after a while. I took her for granted. Too much. But shes got a lot of heart and i never been bored next to her, she is strong and independent, so i want her back. Also i want that guy for her she screwed her on our first date, the guy she "begged" to be her boyfriend.



    Ummm okay it ended up as a pretty fuck*ng long read so i dont blame you if you dont read. it. At least i practiced my english.

  2. #2
    gab
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    Default Re: My first GF.

    found this relationship rewind stuff for free on the web, looks pretty okay, it has its good advices...but to be honest if only i were in the friend zone i'd be more than happy. since at the moment im completely ignored by her, so it feels like im watching the game from the sidelines because i burned up too many bridges


    even tho its not completely true and it shows strong emotions from her part aswell...maybe im just impatient

  3. #3
    gab
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    Default Re: My first GF.

    after ( and first ofcourse ) went for the manipulative magic pills like relationship rewind and all this magic tricks because of this social butterfly...i listened to some real inner game stuffs.

    what i've learned:

    - no contact rule(wich i broke about 4-3 times already in the past 6 weeks) is for both of us. she feels the same way as i do at least, no matter what caused the break up or how it went down or who started it or who we sleep together in the meantime. we both need time to grief this to get trough all the stages in our minds
    - getting back together right away or until the grief is over will just end up being in the same relationship with the same problems. we both need to evolve in personality meanwhile
    - its very rare that both person will evolve and the new relationship will work
    - every wrong that happened in our relationship wasnt my or her fault, we cant blame eachother BUT everything was our responsibility. take that sour pill and try to learn from it


    (just to give this pua sh*t credit meanwhile i had refreshed my wardrobe and got a new haircut weeks ago btw, yeah and i feel much better from that i give credit, probably this got me the new girl, since it boosted my confidence back to a certain level again)

  4. #4
    gab
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    Default Re: My first GF.

    As much as i dont want to and will push her further, i should text her again before the real NC period. Take into account what kind of conversations we had in the past weeks...they were rare, filled with jealousy, neediness, anger.
    I should wash my name clear before i do this whole stuff with a short text about:

    "Hey, sorry i was really emotional in the past weeks. All the shit came together for me and i acted a real creep with you too. No excuses. All the best."

    Then NC. what do you think?



    /meanwhile i realized that the guy she hooked up with right after me is a good sign, she tried to get over me with him, and ofcourse it was not the same, only sexual stuffs nothing else. it ended aswell. so she is only just tarted to go trough the real stages after a break up by herself/

  5. #5
    Slickwilly is offline PUA in Training
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    Default Re: My first GF.

    Move on and man up! Go date other chicks and try to forget about this one, you two are trouble together

  6. #6
    gab
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    Default Re: My first GF.

    Okay first thanks for the great Push-Pull sentence, i'll will use it later
    And had a date with another girl, and now i am with another girl...but just realized im starting to get to be bored with this "nice girl", a social butterfly is what i need, i felt the most productive when we were in our first two month honeymoon with M before the attraction started to fade. One thing i have to care about next time.

    But it will be a similar girl, either i get another girl like her later or her again. The next 30 days will tell if she reaches out or not. Because i dont think i will, thats not something someone would do who moved on and probably i'll see differently her after the next 30 days and i will indeed move on.

    And im not even worried about other guys not even at the moment, most of the guys dont have balls and they are like me 24/7 after my break up and even so she is an SB. Hell she didnt have anyone serious for 2 years after her first BF but me.

  7. #7
    Alergy is offline PUA Forums Respected Contributor Achievements:
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    Default Re: My first GF.

    don't drink alcohol if you can't control yourself afterwards, she honestly seems like a decent girl, you waiting a month or so to talk to her will do you no well. You could get back with her, but what's the point if everything will be the same and will go downhill. I suggest that you stay ONLY friends with her, or cut her out of your life completely. Devote at least half a year for self-improvement, after that period of time if you still want her - great, you'll have more chances to get back with her due to your improved personality and experience in the art of PU.

  8. #8
    gab
    gab is offline Aspiring PUA
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    Default Re: My first GF.

    what do you mean by not cut her out and by being friends? basicly she cut me out of her life, so i dont see the point chasing her to be a friend and i dont really want to spend my time and energy on that to be honest

  9. #9
    gab
    gab is offline Aspiring PUA
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    Default Re: My first GF.

    News:

    - it was known that M's girlfriend who is my coworker will leave next week
    - M spent already a few days lately at my department in a part time job the same time when i was there
    - just was about to fill my shift schedule for next week online, guess who will replace the girl next week?

    I know its great that i can already show off how cool i am again and how happy i am but still f*ck it. Hate when things not going according to plan, now i have to rethink this, also would have been easier to move one more if i cant engage her but now... and ofcourse not try to analyze her obvious behaviour that she gravitates towards me.


    Wish me luck so i can be a man again for my sake and for your sake (no more whiny girly post 4u).

  10. #10
    gab
    gab is offline Aspiring PUA
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    Default Re: My first GF.

    umm okay and she was there yesterday aswell even if she was not scheduled to be there and probably we will work together today aswell and will come to the drinking social gathering later.

    damn so it was already sort of a no contact since january 1st when we were arguing in texts and didnt matter that i sent her one needy yet confusingly pushy message and also didnt matter much if i was whining to a common friend about her how hard to actually fuck other girls when i have feelings for her.

    i think she is fucking confused right now. her logical side of her brain probably says "this is a looser, you dumped him" but her instincts tell "look he refreshed his wardrobe, got a new haircut, having a great time even when he is ill, also he fucks with another cute girl for weeks who will be doctor soon"

    she popped up in my life again to find out herself the truth is what it looks like to me. again im not ready yet ...but for sex only, anytime . i'll try to continue to be cool around her and friendly with her, yet not pursue her at all. treat her like all the other women, and if she does anything ill escalate...like with all the other women


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