Sorry if this is a bit long.
My ex broke up with me 4 months ago. She said she no longer loved me and didnt want to waste my time. We had a brilliant 2 year relationship and were madly in love. I think college was the start of the problem. I was absolutely delighted when she got into college with me and I thought we'd be together forever. For the first few months it was still perfect and the same. We then had a pregnancy scare which I feel may have changed her thinking. We got through that and after a few weeks I noticed that she stopped replying to my messages as much as I was used to and only really replied to answer any questions I asked and was generally distant. She said she wasn't feeling up to seeing me. I let it sllide for a week or two as we had been through a lot and I knew she needed space . After a few weeks I confronted her ...asked her if u did something wrong. She replied with the old 'its not you its me'. I suggested we should meet up and talk but she refused as she said it would be too hard. I knew that in person she wouldn't be able to say it to me so I guess its good we didn't meet up as I would be in an unhappy relationship . She said that she'd probably let me back into her life again but she needed a few months to try and work on herself. Obviously then I did the whole begging and pleading thing which didn't do me any good. I then decided to do no contact for a month And last week I reached out to her again. I got positive responses the first few times but last night I tried to bring up an old memory and just got a very neutral response. The conversation was quite awkward and I ended up apologising for the awkwardness. She replied saying that its fine and she likes hearing from me. I know that doesn't sound that bad but I still feel like it was full of guilt. I know she feels bad for leaving me and now I think she is afraid to let me in and feel the same way again because she is afraid of hurting me. I know I looked weak by being so awkward. I also have noticed that she has made lots of new friends since she left me and seemed to have even forgotten her friends from home ( guess that includes me). Is this a sign of her moving on? How can I get her to let me in again? I know we can be what we were again and she even said she would try again at some stage but I feel like she won't. I care about her so much and just want her to be happy.