Hi everyone, I recently signed up because I need advice on how to get my ex back.
So recently (3 weeks ago) my ex and I broke up, she became paranoid that I had been sleeping with someone else. So one night she was at my house and she went to roll herself a smoke whilst I was upstairs but couldn't find papers and so she went into my underwear drawer thinking that some might be there. She ran upstairs instantly, with a pair of my old underwear and was hounding me that they were someone else's, we got into a pretty heated argument and so she had her brother pick her up and take her home.
The next day, I noticed she left her key at my house so I rang her up and told her that her key was there and took it too her. We had a bit of conversation about the night before in which she told me that she only wants to be friends and we will see where it goes from there. I of course, didn't want that so I refused and said it's either we're together or nothing, she had me drop her home and we didn't speak for a week.
I rang her the following week, and we met up again. I picked her up from her Mothers supply shop and we got to speaking, she told me that she has been diagnosed by her doctor with Borderline Personality Disorder and that is the cause of such extreme highs and lows in her emotions. (She has led quite a difficult and emotionally abused life, which she had been in and out of a ward from the age of 15-16 due to severe depression) After our conversation had ended on that topic we began to speak about us, in which she told me that it's either we are friends or nothing and that I need to accept that we are never getting back together. I told her I couldn't be friends, and she told me to give it some time to think and that she will always respond once I know the answer.
A week passed, and I rang her to ask if I could get my jackets back as it's coming to winter soon and she had taken them all from the winter before. She accepted and so I went over hers and we hung out for the afternoon, just to catch up on what each other have been up too. I discovered she made a couple of new friends through a game she plays and that some of them lived locally. I brushed it off as nothing and thought nothing more of it, and so I went home early because she had to be home for a skype call with the new friends she made. So off I went, I went home and later that night she was feeling ill and so she rang me to keep her company whilst she was sick.
The following day came around and she messaged me saying that she had to go to her grandmothers but she was still feeling ill, and she didn't want to be there. So I went and picked her up from her grandmothers and was supposed to take her home, but instead spent all afternoon with her and went sight seeing but was cut short again because she had to take the skype call. I noticed this time around she was speaking a lot about one of her new friends she made on this game and told me that her, him and another person she plays the game with have all met.
The following day, I got a call from her while I was at work we got too chatting she seemed rather distant and so I asked what was wrong and she told me that she was feeling a little moody because she doesn't have smokes. I offered but she turned me down, then she asked what I was having for dinner and I responded that I don't know and she told me that her mum wasn't making anything. I felt bad for her, so she insisted I come over (It used to be her way of letting me know she wanted to see me without her asking). So I finish work at about 6:00pm and head off to hers. I gave her smokes and then she told me she had to be at home by 8:30pm to take the skype call, it takes me an hour after work to even drive to her house. So I snapped a little, and abruptly said to her that isn't it kind of funny that you used to say I took up all your time in your life but now your life is devoted around a fucking skype call. (Excuse my language I am trying to be accurate) She didn't like how I handled the situation but yet she hung out with me for a further hour.
The following day I heard nothing from her, until the night. We spoke through text and I told her about an issue I am having at home and so she offered that I live with her. I told her that it would be horrible idea but she insisted that she would tell her parents we are back together and that she would just set a mattress up in her bedroom and I could live there. I told her I would need time to think about it.
The following day, she messaged me saying that she was meeting up with her new friends from the game and was wondering if I could pick her up after work. I agreed and so we hung out for most of the night, in which she told me that her new friend the one she speaks to all the time said that it would be a bad idea for me to move in with her and so she decided that her and I should get a place of our own together. Once again I said I needed time to think, and that I was unsure and that it would be quite awkward considering her and I aren't together anymore.
The following day, I got a call from her once again at work. We were speaking a little through text because she wasn't feeling well before hand and said she was watching a movie. But rang me afterwards, at the end of the conversation she said that I sucked and that I should see her. I agreed again, and so off I went. We hung out most of the night and at some point during the night she got upset because the next day was the day something terrible happened to her. She began to cry and so I held her and comforted her until she stopped. I took her home, at about 12:00am and began heading home, once I was almost home I realized she had left her fathers only gate control in my car. So I rang her to let her know, she told me she needed it urgently and offered that I stayed at hers that night because it would be too long of a drive back home. I got there and gave her the gate control and so we went upstairs and watched a movie together, well really I watched the movie to myself because she was too busy on skype playing guess my house number with her new friend. Later on in the night, she told me that she had introduced him to her best friend and that she told him a secret which it wasn't a secret at all. But it was along the lines of she told him to keep my ex safe or she will cut his pickle off because she was leaving the state the next day. I got a bit jealous but didn't try to say anything about it, but I could just feel that something is going on between them two. So as we were about to go to bed, in the same bed mind you I told her that I felt uncomfortable and that I think I should go. She hesitated and insisted that I stayed she then wrapped my arms around her and we fell asleep together. The next morning I rolled over and she wrapped her arms around me, we got up half an hour later and I took her to see her best friend before she left the state.
That was this morning, tonight she rang me up and asked what I was doing tomorrow and that I should see her tomorrow and have a look at a few places together. She also ordered that I stay for dinner, because she is cooking tomorrow night and she wants to cook for me. Obviously I agreed.
SERIOUSLY WHAT THE FUCK IS GOING ON!?
I feel so damn low, and I have no idea where she is going with this. I feel as if though I am just her damned security blanket because I was there for her through it all, and I have always supported her and she has always depended on me for anything.
I need a damn good perspective because I am at a loss here, and I do want her back but I feel that this guy is just sweeping right under the rug.
If you read this far thanks for reading, it's really appreciated.