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Thread: Escaping the friendzone!

  1. #1
    Hands is offline PUA in Training
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    Default Escaping the friendzone!

    So I've been friends with this girl for a while, and she has been having issues with her ex-the whole time. At the beginning of this year she and he finally separated, and I was there to catch her on the rebound. Unfortunately my inner AFC took over, and I caught the feels for her, then effectively chased her off since she didn't want a relationship, and I totally devalued myself. We stopped talking for about a month, and just started up again, I'm definitely in the friendzone. We don't have much face time which is the real problem, and any game I run on her will have to be through text.

    I know the main consensus is to not get into these situations in the first place and just walk away, but she'll be in my life for the foreseeable future and I'm not expecting immediate result, I just need tips to set myself up for better opportunities down the road should they arise. This will be a long term side project, I just need to know that I can get out of the friendzone. Like allways any tips or input is appreciated.

  2. #2
    Jironasaurus is offline PUA Forums Respected Contributor
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    Default Re: Escaping the friendzone!

    Of course you can.

    But you need to minimize contact with her in the meantime.

    Then, go focus on your lifestyle. Start doing things that you've always wanted to do. Engage in activities that you've never tried before. Is she on your Facebook? If she is, that is a good thing for you. You can take loads of photos and upload them all onto your FB wall. She will see it.

    That's the first thing you gotta do.

    Next, you wanna "fix your game".

    Maybe you wanna consider hitting the gym. You will look and feel better.

    Find out what are the things you are doing wrong with women. Fix those issues. It can be anything from conversation, to body language, to your vibe, or even your mindsets towards them.

    Give the process 3 to 6 months. Although... by the time you're done, you might not be interested in her anymore.

  3. The Following User Says Thank You to Jironasaurus For This Useful Post:

    Hands (04-28-2016)

  4. #3
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    Default Re: Escaping the friendzone!

    Cool man, since discovering the game, and PUA Forums I've experienced a major renaissance of my masculinity. I've been working out again, and taking swing dancing classes, and getting deeper into martial arts. So those bases are covered, I'm on my way to becoming the best version of myself.
    I've left FB for about 6 months now, and loath to go back, but it is another mode of interaction, I'll think on it.

    Knowing myself I probably won't be interested, but this is a challenge that I've ran away from for too long, like I said I need to know that I can do it, on a grander scale its part of my self improvement package.

    Thanks for advice man.

  5. #4
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    Default Re: Escaping the friendzone!

    Welcome!

    That sounds awesome. Take things a bit further. Get out there and get to know loads of new people. You mentioned you're in swing dancing classes. Push the limits. Get to know people from there, expand your social network. In no time, you'll be invited to more events. It's a snowballing effect.

    For the dating aspect, ideally if you can help it... find a good mentor. Having someone who can see your blind-spots, and guide you well, will accelerate your progress a lot faster than you think.

  6. #5
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    Default Re: Escaping the friendzone!

    I'm a pretty extreme guy when it comes to hobbies, it doesn't take much for me to lose myself in them, and before long I'm part of the sub culture. I'm also very social when I'm out, so it'll be easy for me do what you suggest.

    Concerning finding a mentor: I've been trying, unfortunately, I seem to be the authority on women in all of my social groups(mainly gamers, and nerds), so you can imagine how socially awkward my guy friends are.

    You know what they say if you're the smartest person in the room, you're in the wrong room. As far as women are concerned I'm still looking for that room where I get to be the idiot. But this forum is filling that space very well. I actually have a female friend who seem pretty experienced with this stuff so maybe I'll get in touch with her.

  7. #6
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    Default Re: Escaping the friendzone!

    Show sexual interest in her and flirt with her. I believe you didn't do any of it, that's why you got yourself in the friendzone.
    About having a relationship, no way, because she just got herself out of one. But about fucking that's other thing.
    When you want to fuck a woman, always show your intentions, either through body language, either verbally.

  8. #7
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    Default Re: Escaping the friendzone!

    I did all that, that's why we hooked up in the first place, the thing was that I've had a crush on her for quite a while, and we spent a lot of time getting to know each other alot more, that's when I stumbled and started nurturing real feelings for her, and ended up chasing her away. You're right she didn't want a relationship, but I did, chump move I know but shit happens.

    She has a voracious sexual appetite, so I know she wants to fuck, but because we're friends, I can't access that side of her. I can't show body language because emotionally shes in protective mode, so she'll only text, and hide behind it like her life depends on it. I'm not trying to make this sound impossible, I just want to lay the ground work. I know her well enough to say that I can't just charge in and tell her what I want because she wants to be played with, but she won't give me the opportunity to do so.


  9. #8
    Jironasaurus is offline PUA Forums Respected Contributor
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    Default Re: Escaping the friendzone!

    Quote Originally Posted by Hands View Post
    I'm a pretty extreme guy when it comes to hobbies, it doesn't take much for me to lose myself in them, and before long I'm part of the sub culture. I'm also very social when I'm out, so it'll be easy for me do what you suggest.

    Concerning finding a mentor: I've been trying, unfortunately, I seem to be the authority on women in all of my social groups(mainly gamers, and nerds), so you can imagine how socially awkward my guy friends are.

    You know what they say if you're the smartest person in the room, you're in the wrong room. As far as women are concerned I'm still looking for that room where I get to be the idiot. But this forum is filling that space very well. I actually have a female friend who seem pretty experienced with this stuff so maybe I'll get in touch with her.
    Where are you based at? I might be able to recommend people, but that depends on your location.

  10. #9
    Hands is offline PUA in Training
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    Default Re: Escaping the friendzone!

    So where I'm at right now is I'm going to start up my facebook, go out do alot of stuff, take lots of pictures with hot women, and bait her in that way, like Jironasauraus suggested. If this chick was any one else I would just walk away, but this is a challenge, so unless things get out of hand, I'm not gonna walk away.

  11. #10
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    Default Re: Escaping the friendzone!

    Quote Originally Posted by Jironasaurus View Post
    Where are you based at? I might be able to recommend people, but that depends on your location.
    I'm in Central PA, but I can travel if necessary, I like road trips.


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