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  1. #1
    Scotty415 is offline Aspiring PUA
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    Default A very confusing situation

    Girlfriend and I were having some problems. Frequent fights. She would get drunk often and pass out, or do some outrageous/embarrassing thing while intoxicated. I was frustrated, and one night, after having a few too many myself, I reached out to an ex. Big mistake.

    The girlfriend finds out a few weeks later and kicks me out of the apartment. I do the usual chump thing of calling/texting too many times, sending flowers, going by her house and trying to talk to her etc. Finally, she calls me and says that she is going to the police and will ask for a restraining order. This freaked me out, but I kind of had the feeling that she was bluffing. I tried calling her back and found that my number had been blocked. At this point, I basically gave up. No woman (or man) is worth going to jail, losing one's job, etc.

    Late that same night (Sunday), she calls me. Says "I left the door unlocked for you. I need you to come over." So I go over there. She's in bed. I get into the bed and put my arms around her. She starts calling me names, telling me that I am the biggest ******* she has ever met, she can't stand me, etc. I put my hands down the front of her panties while she was insulting me and she was VERY aroused. I turned her over on to her stomach and entered her. We had sex twice -- once that night, once the next morning.

    In the morning, she is still insulting me. "I hate you." "It was just sex. It didn't feel the same." "I don't love you any more." But every time that I would turn away from her or move to the other side of the bed, she would scoot up next to me and put her head on my chest.

    She ended up giving me a ride home. I asked her what she wanted to do. She said "I don't know yet" and "do you think you can leave me alone for awhile?" She also asked me not to tell anyone what had happened the night before.

    I go about my day....that night I get a text from a friend who says that he just saw my girfriend and my ex talking to each other about me at a local bar.

    So.....if the girlfriend is done with me and hates me as much as she claims to, why the hell would she meet with my ex to talk about me?

    My plan right now is to leave her alone until maybe Friday, then email and ask if she would like to go to dinner or meet up for a drink.

  2. #2
    Alergy is offline PUA Forums Respected Contributor Achievements:
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    Default Re: A very confusing situation

    if she would have stopped at blocking your number and the restraining order it would have meant game over. As long as she is not indifferent - there is still hope, so yes you f..ked up but I think you will be able to work it through, things won't be the same definitely but I think this will honestly solve her drinking problem, obviously you're going to have a talk about this, mention the reasons why you did it and stuff so I highly recommend mentioning her drinking, but DON'T BLAME HER! again DON'T BLAME HER! Admit that it's not an excuse, and that such behavior is beyond an excuse. Don't call her, don't text her, don't email her, don't arrange any dates, don't ask if she is ready - tell her to inform you when she is ready to talk, that is all I would personally do in such a situation.

    P.S. I assume you had sex with the ex? or is she just that pissed for simply calling your ex

  3. #3
    Scotty415 is offline Aspiring PUA
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    Default Re: A very confusing situation

    No, I did not have sex with the ex. I only texted her.

    We've discussed the reasons why I talked to the ex. I told gf that she really disappointed me several times by drinking too much and passing out before I got home or shortly thereafter. She was really offended and basically told me to go eff myself.

    This girl is very emotional. Throws temper tantrums like a spoiled kid when she is angry. So I take what she says with a huge grain of salt.

    I knew when I went over there last night that if I didn't have sex with her, it would most definitely be over. And she talked all of this crap about how she wasn't attracted to me anymore yet she was soaking wet, and she jumped on top of me and went to town the second time.

    Yeah, I think best option is to ignore for now.

  4. #4
    Alergy is offline PUA Forums Respected Contributor Achievements:
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    Default Re: A very confusing situation

    if it's like that I think the best thing would be to set strict boundries for her AND most importantly for yourself, what type of behavior you accept ant what type you don't. Yes - you did text your ex, but now I assume that she thinks that some of her actions can be excused because of that and that she can play the blame game for as long as she wants - but that really shouldn't be the case. If you feel that you are not happy with the relationship, do not stay with her just because you have been for a long time (pot-committed). Try to fix the problem, but do yourself a favor and if you see that things are going way too south, don't waste your time sailing a sinking ship. Best of luck 2 ya regardless


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