I must admit I never thought I'd be writing one of these, but I feel now is the time to have a vent and get this off my chest.
Was in a LTR for around 3 years back in my AFC days, we didn't live together but we had a good relationship with each other, loved to go for days out together just to spend more time with each other, great sex; everything I could ask for more in a woman, until it came to a point where a large amount of alcohol was involved and temptation always seemed to get the better of me.
In my opinion back then I'd say I'd have come across as a flirtatious kind of guy, even without the influence of alcohol; but needless to say alcohol would amplify and this is what would always work against me with my LTR, even though this exact same mindset would likely get me exactly what I wanted with her.
During the last few month of the relationship, I had a bit of a bad turn, lost my job, bills piling up and couldn't afford the nice days out we used to enjoy, so I'd stay at home playing computer games etc. Its at this point I can openly say I went full beta bitch.
Even though I was broke, I'd always try to make an effort with her friends (mainly female), we would go for an occasional meal but but typically the setting would be a house party, or a night clubbing... you guessed it alcohol.
Anyway on the last night out with my ex we went out as a group to a club and we managed to secure a booth. Eventually most of the guys/girls went to the bathroom and I was left to 'save' the booth with one of her female friends who didn't want to go. The club was pretty loud so I moved closer to her so we could chat.
Upon my ex's return she is furious with me 'hitting' on her friend. I explained I was just being friendly, but was having none of it and we argued a little. Around 5-10 minutes later we all hit the dancefloor and fairly quickly my ex goes to chat with a guy, which quickly escalated to a kclose in the space of 20 seconds. (jealousy plot).
Her friends were all in shock and I was kinda rabbit in the headlights not sure what to do next. Basically I didn't do anything I'd regret as it wasn't really the guys fault. I just told one of her other friends that I was leaving and went to a fast food place nearby.
I ordered some food and took a seat in the window and a few minutes later this cute girl came and sat next to me. There wasn't anything this, the place was pretty busy and the window was just a place to sit down. Anyway we did get talking, told her what happened and basically took my side since I was the one presenting my side of the events. But guess who happened to walk by... the ex.
Still angry about the club, she now sees me chatting to another woman and this fuels the fire further and she completely freaks out with me. We continued a very heated argument outside and after being on the receiving end of a physical assault (slaps and punches) we both make our separate ways home.
During the next few weeks we go through the usual breakup phases. Drunk dials and 'I miss you' shit (both of us) meeting up and being a needy (me) which pretty much set this up to fail.
The Reform (and another breakup):
After the breakup I go searching for 'How to get my ex back' and stumbled across a few PUA sites, stopped the heavy drinking and took a lot of advice from a lot of sources to work on my inner game. I accepted the fact it was me who needed to change and I found what I needed to refine my flirtatious nature; or to use my own words, to stop being reckless and 'Save me from myself'.
So 4 years go by and I've been on countless dates, 9 fcloses, eventually settled into another LTR, moved in together and a few month later got some fantastic news, which I'm proud to say that have a beautiful daughter who is now a year old.
For reasons I'll not explain in detail, I decided for the best I would move out; This wasn't a bitter breakup but we both agree that our relationship has run it course and we want different things in life. I'll always strive to be a good dad to to my daughter and I'll always want to be involved in her life.
A few months have passed and I'm now living in my new home, I've been working on my inner game and even been on a few dates and a couple of fcloses. Even though I'm trying to move on with my life, I've seriously considered re-initiating contact with my ex (Flashback 2011).
She is currently in a relationship with a guy who is the polar opposite of me (outer game/large build etc) and through limited sources, shes been with this guy for around a year and a half and is engaged.
I've been reading Cody's post and the sub-posts within and I'll no doubt be reading them again and again, but saying that I've still decided to take the time to write this post.
I haven't made any contact with her as of yet as, I know she engaged which presents its own obstacle, but she will be invested in him over Christmas, as it is now just a few days away. During this time I'm using this time to keep working on myself and spend time with my family, daughter and friends, but I know deep down I'll be reflecting on if this is really something I want to do.
Thank for taking the time to read and I'd welcome any constructive feedback you have to offer.