Logic Says No, Emotion Says Yes (Please help)
The human psyche never ceases to amaze.
Me and my girlfriend broke up after 2 and a half years. We were best friends as well as boyfriend and girlfriend. We broke up because she always wanted to leave this city when she finished college. When the time came she told me the news. She asked if I wanted to go, but I didn't. I was sad and after she left I joined Tinder and a few dating sites, trying to distract myself and avoid pain, and for the most part it worked. A couple of months pass and we keep in touch, but after the first few weeks she started becoming more and more distant. Now, 3 months later, to the point where we barely talk anymore and it sucks, she's a completely different person. She came down for the graduation ceremony for a couple of days a while ago, and when I asked if she wanted to hang out she blew me off. I didn't like it, but I didn't feel too bad because I knew we said we would see each other over Christmas.
A few days ago she came back again and invited me to her Christmas party. I wanted to hangout a day or two before it, catch up and all as friends, but she said she had family stuff and was busy and that's why she was getting all the friends together at the party. The moment I saw her as she opened the door to the party, all my feelings came rushing back to me. I was being social at the party, having fun, avoiding trying to be needy or whatever and she barely spoke to me for the whole thing, about 4 minutes in 6 hours. I tried going over to her once, but after a minute or two she said she needed to go to the bathroom and when she came back she just started talking to another group of people at the other side of the room. What the hell?
The way she was acting towards me, it wasn't the side of the girl I knew and it felt horrible. After everyone left, I ask her if she is ok and told her its so weird she's being so distant.
Her: "What, I invited you to the party?"
"Yeah, that just felt like you were doing it just to be polite."
"........Its just that its too soon for us to be hanging out together alone."
This was my first ever long term relationship. I'm not used to post breakup stuff. I'm guessing she meant she still has feelings for me and she's trying to get over them and till that happens we shouldn't hang out?
I know logically I should probably move on, but I'm torn. She became one of the closest friends I've had in my life. I'm feeling sharp physical pain in my chest at the thought of not being close with her and her being so distant.
I just want to know, please, if anyone can share a similar experience or advice or just anything?
"To live is the rarest thing in the world. Most people exist, that is all." - Oscar Wilde