I am the original poster of this thread but i forgot my f**king password or something so i had to make a new account lol
I may as well update you all on my situation.
I was moving on & getting over her, but she came back a few months later with the bombshell that she is pregnant.
She really is pregnant & this is whats happening now:
She is 7 months pregnant to me, she told me 2 months ago, she only found out herself 2 weeks before that as she didnt have regular periods so therefore didnt know it herself.
Since she told me she about it she has been being all crazy telling me i wont be involved unless i change & get a job & new place etc (which i am working on), which i understood & bit my tounge whenever she gave me sh1t cos i know about hormones etc.
I have been really nice to her, sent flowers to work to apologize for asking her was she seeing anyone whilst carrying our son, to which she replied "i can f*** who i want when i want", & i have been so reasonable & patient with her.
She refuses to meet with me to talk & is hiding behind her mobile & told me countless times to stop calling & texting, i havnt been giving her a hard time, but she is having our son in two months & i think we should be communicating!!!!
We have had one conversation on the phone for an hour over a month ago, she told me she would meet me the next night, but didnt, then started telling me to leave her alone again.
I promised i wouldnt drink till i found a job etc, & i didnt for a month, but one night i did & got in a fight which she found out about (which whoever told her exaggerated that i was on drugs,i havnt took drugs in over a year cos im clean,she knows this) but she told me that i wont be involved in his life cos i lied to her.....its almost funny cos she was drinking flat out before she discovered the pregnancy.
I called her last week & she told me that when he is born she will let me see him once a week, to which i said "good but are we just supposed to not talk to each other for 2 months now?" she said yes & we had a fall out again on the phone, she said "i hope he is not even yours", i told her to f**k off & she hung up.
The dates add up, he is mine.
I text her the other day & asked her to reconsider meeting with me, cos when he is born we will not have seen each other for around 6 months, & then when we do she will have a baby with her, i said it doesnt have to be all serious we will just have a coffee & a laugh & it will remove a bit of pressure of anticipation off us....she replied "what part of stop txtn me dont u get dan?"
I have 6 nephews & nieces so im ready for a kid no problem, but she is making ot REALLY hard for me to get exited about it
Meanwhile she is going about her business, obviously talking to her friends & family & planning stuff & whatever, painting me to be some kind of bastard when im not
Another thing is, if she would meet with me, NONE of this would be going on cos when we are together we get on so good
I just want whats best for her & my son, but surely she should be at least talking to me?
Will things change when he is born?
Does a mother see the father in a different way when the child is born?
Will she come to her senses & realise she was being a bitch & finally reason with me?
Should i just leave her alone & wait?
I would really appreciate some input on what to do, as well as anything else you wanna say to me.
Ps.i am no longer asking for ways to get her back, if it happens it happens, if not i dont care, i just wanna know what you would do in my situation.
Last edited by dannydee300; 08-31-2011 at 08:05 AM. Reason: spelling mistake
I would see a lawyer and get a DNA test before doing anything else.
Ive already spoken to my lawyer, he told me to wait till he is born & see if she gives me access without going to court etc.
As for DNA, i cant mention this to her right now it will give her more reasons to keep being crazy towards me.
I will wait till we have a serious conversation, & even then i wont just bring it up, i need to think about it.
Im sure i will know if he is mine without DNA, ive got good instinct & there couldnt be nothing more instictive than holding a child & knowing if he is yours.
Plus, even though she is a bitch right now she is from a decent family & i couldnt see her telling someone they are going to be a father if she knew they werent....her family would be pissed off with her.
I really hope he is mine though.
No offence to your instincts but I have witnessed this happen one to many times. Your instincts did not seem to be spot on when you choose this crazy chick so don't go assuming that she wouldn't lie to you. Speak to your lawyer about making she a DNA test is performed when the child is born before paternity is decided, this will save you 18 years of child support just to find out that he/she isn't yours. Remember, your best judgment has gotten you right exactly where you are right now.
It may seem that way, but she is only being crazy cos she hasnt spoke to me face to face, she was never like this when we were together, if she would meet me there would be none of this s***
I want to believe 100% that he is mine, but if she carries on the way she is then i will ask for DNA, i probably should ask anyway, although i wont ask just yet
Wow... let us know how it goes.
I actually have started relaxing & chilling & taking things as they happen, cos i have no control over her or what she says or does anyway, so why bother being messed up over it.
Im even considering relocating to a bigger, better & more buzzing town/city, & once things have settled with the baby, im moving away but not away from the baby, away from this shitty town.