For anyone with good, solid advice, I have many PUA resources that I am willing to share for free. This post is for sake of helping create a strategy on how to win back my first ex-girlfriend. I know that any strategy depends previous circumstances to either avoid or utilize certain aspects, so I shall briefly divulge my past as to allow others to help me develop the best possible strategy. Remember, I am somewhat new to PUA, so please be as descriptive as possible in your guidance.
Before I learned PUA…
The two of us were the valedictorians of two different schools. Both of us were socially awkward and so my best friend’s girlfriend set us up, since she knew both of us and thought we would go well together. We went very well together; despite how inexperienced we both were at dating. The biggest problems were communication and finding the time for a relationship. We rarely even texted one another, and when we did it was simply to schedule the next date. Our dates were also generally two weeks apart because of how involved we were in school. So around Valentine’s day we broke up for reasons based on time management.
Around June of 2010, I asked her to come to a movie with my best friend and his girlfriend as just friends. She agreed. And that WAS my intention. However, apparently I was unintentionally exhibiting alpha behavior or something because halfway through the second movie (we went to see two movies in a row that night) we started making out. Ka-ching. Things improved from the last time since school was over, but we still didn’t talk much and she had a job so time was still limited.
College was about to start up and I was afraid that she would leave me because of the 2.5-hour distance. So I did something really stupid in the hopes that she would want to stay with me: I pulled over to a quiet area by the river and I told her that I loved her. It was a stupid idea because she then became very distant and broke up with me over text two weeks later. That sucked. Her friends all assumed that I only wanted to hang out with them because I was trying to get her back. So I ended up having to cut off contact from half the tiny network that I had.
Then I learned PUA…
I became very successful with women. I transformed from the biggest nerd in the school to the guy who hung out with the jocks, dated the cheerleaders, and still had time to lead the Tech team, qualify to nationals in quiz bowl, and graduate top of my class.
Here’s the current situation…
I am still a nerd at heart. No matter how much I have tried, the gap that she left has not been able to be filled. Although, at best, she is only a HB7 in looks, she is so intelligent and geeky that she is a HB11 in my eyes. I want her back.
Conveniently, I am now going to the same college that she is. After not talking for 9 months, we began texting one another. It began as an Innocent "Happy Birthday", but now, especially the past week, we've been texting more regularly. (Which is more communication than we EVER had in the relationship). After informing her that I decided to go to WSU (her college, but the decision wasn't made for her sake), she suggested that we could study together. Um...fantastic! But I feel we are still far away from getting back together.
Since we last saw one another: I have become more mature, grown a nice-looking goatee, become more fashionable, built muscle, live in a new house, etc, so I have certainly changed. This will hopefully enable me to use the "we were only kids back when we dated..." route.
This is where you guys come in…
I want to meet with her next week. I'm getting a routine teeth whitening on Monday, so I figured it would be perfect timing.
I was thinking that I could invite her to shop with me at a book store which is closing near where we live. Either that, or I could invite her to coffee, since she just returned from South Africa and I am sincerely interested in how her vacation went. There's also an ice cream place down the street from my house that would make it convenient to go into the house (which is new, so she would never be suspicious that its nearby). Ultimately, I would like to end up in the house.
Once in the house, I don't know if I should have dinner with her, or do something else to build comfort in the living room. I don't know what to say or do to make her want me again. Keep in mind, she is my two-time ex, so I don't know how that influences the chemistry.
Anyway, after a while in the living room, I will mention Iron Man. She revealed in a text message two days ago that she had never seen it, but wants to. So I can invite her into the bedroom to watch it, since there is not a DVD player in the living room. Without any chairs, we will be forced to share the bed. From there, I hope things escalate into...you know
Here is a list of advice I need, please feel free to answer as many as you like. Please don't tell me to go fark 10 other women or anything along those lines. I admit, openly, that I have one-itis. But instead of trying to eliminate it, I would rather embrace it.
1. Is sleeping with her a realistic option? Will she be more guarded, less guarded, etc? Does it even seem as though it might be possible she still likes me?
2. Where should we go before taking her to the ice cream shop, and then my house? I want it to seem as casual as possible.
3. Should I be more direct and just invite her over my house, or would that convey too much interest?
4. What should I do once in the living room? I have cable and a coffee table, but that's it.
5. Once in the living room, should I tell her I want to be back together? Or would it be best to just Kino until I get to my room?
6. Once in my room, how do I escalate? I truthfully have not had much experience under the covers, and she is a virgin (as far as she knows, I am, too, since I was when we first met, and I had might as well be with what little experience I have). I want it to be as perfect as possible to encourage her to continue and get back together with me.
7. At any time of the plan, what do I do if she says that she just wants to be friends? Should I suggest "One night of no restrictions, and then we can decide on how we work together tomorrow..." or should I be more pragmatic and go for friends with benefits?
8. Bear in mind, we are college students now. What implications does that have? Is it more likely she will be receptive to having sex? I don't know how her freshman year may have changed her interests...
9. What should I do about the whole "I love you" incident? I don't know what to do if she brings it up, or what implications it might have in making this more or less complicated.
10. Any other essential details I might not be thinking of?
Thank you for those who reply, I am immensely appreciative.