Just broke up with GF and feel a whole inside

Hi. Ill try to make it as short as possible. I've been with this pretty girl that everybody finds gorgeous (needless to say she has arrshls stalking her all the time). However, though I find her interesting, good looking (she's a gym nut) and intelligent...I always thought she was not my type. I am 34 and she just turned 30. I like younger women for a fact.

Apart from that, she's into rave parties and that shht which I got over many years ago. The thing is she just dumped me. My sister's wedding was this saturday and she was supposed to go...but her birthday was a day before. So I went to her BD and met some of her friends whom I never met before. I got drunk and acted like an idiot. The next day she said she was not going to the wedding which made me mad cause I shouldn't have gone to her celebration in the first place.

Thing is I call her next day and she tells me she's hungover and needs some sleep. I told her ok,don't go to the church, just go to the party and even offered one of my friends to take her. She never answered the phone again.I was pissed of the following day and so wasted I left her a voice massage saying "it was nice while it lasted". This was after I noticed she had put me on her "restricted" list on FB. So these days I've been pissed off and feel a hole in my soul and am not sure what to do. I don't know if her friends brainwashed her or she was waiting for something like this to happen to blow me off. She often complained about my drinking habits and had warned me that anytime it would be over.

However, shes been faulty too attending raves and clubs sometimes, knowing that I wouldn't go. So I tried to blow her a couple times and she was all over me, asking for another opportunity and so on, saying that its for a reason that we met the way we met and BS like that. I did pardon her after a day or 2. But now she won't give me another chance. In fact she doesn't even respond my calls or FB messages. And also she has been very rude to me by not having the decency to even answer the phone.

Now I'm all messed up in the head. Since this is recent I was thinking about going to her house ant ask for her to come down and talk (I had the excuse of handing her an invitation for another wedding this saturday pluss giving her back some shht she left at my house). But she lives with her mother and I don't want to drive all the way to there to have her mother tell me she's not in or she's sleeping or she just doesn't want to see me and end up like an idiot.

I know most of you guys recommend to keep a distance....but this is my first real break up, and a very nasty one. I'm feeling maybe I should act soon since all this is fresh but then again I don't want to look needy. And I've told her in the past if she ever dumps mi I'm not the begging kingd of guy.

Another thing, She has put me on her "restricted" list on Fb but has not eliminated me as a friend. Also, I know her fb password (I know, not an ethical way to go) but I find myself checking it out all the time seeing what she´s up to and who she's talking with. As far as I know theyre some sharks circuling around and stuff but she doesn't give them much rope and barely answers them.

I know what most of you would say avbout this and am aware its sick to stay wallowing looking at her fb.

Since this is our first breakup, and taking into account that she has beenj much rude to me too by leaving me stranded at my sis's wedding....What would you guys recommend?

Please take into account that this is our first "real" breakup and it has been on her terms.

She just answered me my first fb messages with some bs along the lines that "I think it's better for us to not see each other anymore. I don't want to hurt you nor want tu be hurt by you. I love you and always will. Peace... XXX".

After that I sent a couple more messages mostly because I was depressed and drunk and wanted to know what happened. No explanation at all.

Should I try to fix it while it is recent or just make myself scarce? Note she could be a 9 or 10 to many, but I find her a bit old for my taste. When I tried to end it p with her she was all over me and I didn't feel as bad...but the way she has terminated me has keep me all week depressed and anxious (and I have those 2 handicaps naturally so I'm really down now).

Please guys help me....Thank you for reading and sorry for the long post.

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I'm also afraid if I let things cool down she might find somebody else or get back with her old boy friend...If she hasn't yet.
Thanks.

Another thing, I'm not a stalker but she left her password on my computer and I'd rather not delete it in order to see what's up or when/where could I meet her again. I'm not planning on checking every single thing she does and know that would also be unhealthy.

You did the one thing she told you she didn't like. I feel like in this case the only way to Get Her Back is to show her you've changed. Don't take offense but you reposted four times which shows you probably have a bit of a needy tendency. And it doesn't matter if she did things you didn't like, you let her come back so she knows you'll put up with it. She's showing you she won't put up with you doing things she doesn't like. Doesn't seem to be a good GF. Make a change or its on to the next one.

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