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  1. #1
    TheVibe is offline Aspiring PUA
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    Default Re-connecting with the ex through massage

    What's up guys. New here, this is my first post. I'll sum up my break up as quickly as possible, then go into my plan to re-connect. Any feedback is welcome.

    My ex and I broke up about six months ago. I won't go into too much detail but I will say that when things started going down hill, I started showing a lot of beta and low value traits, which is what I believe ultimately contributed to us not working it out. I have learned from my mistakes and lately have really been wanting another shot at it.

    A few months after the break-up I started seeing someone else, but it's pretty casual and I don't see any long term potential in it. I do know that my ex is still single as well, but I think she may also be seeing someone causally. Over the past couple of months though, she has texted me a couple of times, not to meet up or anything, but just to "check-in". Since then I have also texted her in the same manner, and we joked, kept it casual and just caught up a little. A couple of weeks ago she also "re-friended" me on FB.

    Now I know that most guys on here are going to tell me to continue to play it cool, no contact, and let her "take the lead". Here's the problem: she is EXTREMELY stubborn. And I am pretty sure she feels guilty about the break up and hurting me. I am fairly certain that regardless of how much she misses me or may want to see me, she will bury those feelings down, eventually just meet someone else, and all will be lost. I believe that I have taken no contact as far as it will go at this point and I need to initiate a meet eventually.

    Here's the plan: I don't want to contact her and just ask if she wants to get together. I need a reason. She is a massage therapist so I was thinking about texting her to schedule a rub down. I train in jiu-jitsu, so being sore is nothing new or unusual. The massage will accomplish several things:
    1. Set up a meeting with us that will allow for an hour of nothing but one-on-one time.
    2. In that hour, there will be nothing but touching and rubbing, regardless of how "professional" it may be. (Plus I'm in better shape right now so it will give me a chance to show that off.)
    3. It will allow me to work some game that I have been preparing. I plan on treating it not like someone I am trying to get back together with, but rather a new girl that I have just meet. Though I have a couple of sneaky plays up my sleeve as well. For instance, I was thinking about having a cute girl call me up in the middle of it, her pic pops up on my phone and the ex see's it. A little jeliousy never hurt anyone

    So what are your guys thoughts? Do you think this is a good plan? And if anyone has any good routines or lines I could use that might be good conversation, I would be open to hearing them.

    Thanks!

  2. #2
    The Red Baron's Avatar
    The Red Baron is offline PUA All Star
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    Default Re: Re-connecting with the ex through massage

    I think it's a decent plan if she wouldn't be weirded out on the massage

    jealousy plot line is good but I would tone it down from a call just have them send you two texts or something, enough to spark her curiosity

    Your approach on her as tho she was someone new is spot on, tease her, etc

    Good luck
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  3. #3
    TheVibe is offline Aspiring PUA
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    Default Re: Re-connecting with the ex through massage

    I've thought about the chance of her being weirded out, but I don't think it's an issue. If she's not comfortable she'll probably just not take the massage in the first place and say something like, "I don't think it's a good idea". If that's the case, I'll just say that's cool and ask her to recommend someone else and at the same time get a better idea of where she stands.

  4. #4
    TheVibe is offline Aspiring PUA
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    Default Re: Re-connecting with the ex through massage

    I need help guys! Please read op first and then the update below. If anyone has advice, please get back to me. Thanks.

    Ok so I went ahead and met up with the ex for the massage. It went well. I decided to leave the jealousy plot behind, the more I thought about it the more I felt it might hurt rather then help in this particular situation. She did ask if I have been seeing someone, and I replied honestly with 'yes but it's pretty causal', and then she brought it up again about 20 min later, so any jealousy that was to be felt happened there, in a more organic way.

    During the massage it was relaxed and casual, went very well. Her friend showed up towards the end, and afterwards the three of us hung out for about an hour, just chilling out and catching up. I got the impression that they were having a 'girls night' so I excused myself eventually, not wanting to 'intrude'. As I was leaving, I told my ex that I had to write her a check for the rub down and she declined, saying not to worry about and I could just throw her a tip. I thanked her for the 'free' massage but added that I did not have any cash on me and I would still have to write a check. She then came back with, "don't worry about it then, you can get it to me later". I suppose this implies that she wants to see me again.

    I should also add that I just found out she joined match.com last week (she didn't tell me this and I didn't' ask about her love life, I found this out through a FB post). This tells me that she is lonely and wants someone in her life again, this is both a good and a bad thing.

    How should I proceed from here? I'm a little lost as to what my best option is at this point.

  5. #5
    The Red Baron's Avatar
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    Default Re: Re-connecting with the ex through massage

    She's already implied seeing you again so use the lead

    invite her out, "how bout I buy ya a few drinks Saturday? I still owe ya for that massage :-)"
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  6. #6
    TheVibe is offline Aspiring PUA
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    Default Re: Re-connecting with the ex through massage

    Yes, and that is most definitively my 'in' at this point. I guess I am just in the dark about how long to wait here. One, the whole match.com thing makes me feel somewhat of a greater sense of urgency, though I know I still must be patient and cool to a certain extent.

    I was thinking about doing a preliminary follow up text today or tomorrow, just thanking her for the massage and saying it was good to see her, then another one, three to five days later that attempts to meet up. Good? Or do you think I should just drop the first text, wait a few more days and try for the meeting?

  7. #7
    The Red Baron's Avatar
    The Red Baron is offline PUA All Star
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    Default Re: Re-connecting with the ex through massage

    I think it's fine to send a thank you text for the massage, then yea, wait like 3-4 days of no contact and invite her out

    The thank you will make her think you're thinking about her, then a few days of silence should make her miss you and wonder what you're thinking

    I wouldn't worry about match, meeting people online takes forever anyway
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  8. #8
    TheVibe is offline Aspiring PUA
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    Default Re: Re-connecting with the ex through massage

    Thanks Baron. I appreciate the advice and will let you know how things turn out.


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