Need to get ex back from rebound relationship...

Hi all,

I will try and keep this as brief as possible

So my ex broke up with me two weeks before Christmas saying that she had lost attraction for me. We didn’t speak for the rest of the week but then she called me the following weekend. I couldn’t really make out what she was saying cos she was crying so much. I asked if she wanted me to come and get her (rookie mistake I know) and at first she said yes but then backtracked saying I couldn’t cos we had broken up. We didn’t speak again after that til Christmas Day when I text her as I had seen that she had written a flirty comment on her work colleagues photo which she had deleted straight after but another colleague had started mocking. This guy had been texting my ex before we split. I told her that I thought I had seen something I shouldn’t have but she denied anything was going on, that he had a girlfriend and that she was offended that I thought she would move on so quickly. She said that she was nowhere near over me. I told her I didn’t mean to offend her, just wanted to hear it from her if something was going on and wish her the best.


A few days later, she text me about 3am saying how much she missed me and was sad all the time. She also put on her Facebook that she was feeling really lonely. The next day she apologised for texting, saying that it was unfair on me. I told her not to worry.
The whole thing with this work colleague was still bugging me the next day and I made the mistake of logging on to her Facebook. I saw some flirty messages between them the night the photo commenting had taken place and also that she was moving in with him the weekend just gone (although that would be more down to her not having anywhere else to go). Unfortunately, I let my emotions get the better of me and pretended to send her an accidental text to someone I had bumped into that night followed by another saying ‘sorry, that wasn’t meant for you’.
I know looking back on all of this what massive errors I made and I also know the exact reason she broke up with me. The past week I have hit the gym, bought new clothes, stayed away from her Facebook and am feeling a lot better about myself but where do I go from here? Obviously this is a rebound relationship which surely won’t last as long as others if they’re living together (she can be quite high maintenance). I haven’t spoken to her for a week but at some point we need to meet up for me to give her her stuff back.


Any ideas where I should go from here? Do you think there’s any chance I can pull this back after my rookie mistakes? In a way, I’m kinda glad this happened as it’s made me see things clearer and do things to better myself and even after this, I still want her back in my life.


Any ideas?

Keep focusing on improving your life... that way either her or your next girl will be VERY attracted to you. And once you have a girl - again KEEP FOCUSING on improving yourself (gym, clothes, etc).

Thanks for your reply Bill! I will definitely carry on doing what I am now as I feel so much better for it. Was just concerned that I may have made too many mistakes before going down this route which may have hurt my chances of a possible reunion?

I doubt it... once you start changing - she will notice and wonder even more about the 'new' you.

Awesome, thanks Bill.

Will let you know how it goes. Hopefully it won't take too long!

so she's just txt me the following...

'i'm thinking we shouldn't be friends on facebook anymore?'

how should i reply?

I agree exactly with Bill dude!! Focus on the new you; whether you want her back or not, the only road is to improve yourself constantly!!!

With regards to this new development, i'd play it one of two ways

a) delete her without msg her back...show her you're prepared to move on and theres no point in looking back

b) msg her and say something like "you're right, thats probably the best idea"...dont make it too final sounding, and dont delete her!! wait for her to do it....force her to go through with it and let her see that her deleting you, doesnt matter in the slightest to you.....I think she wont delete you, coz whatever she says, she sounds confused and def aint over you...go out, have fun, let your fbook show her how great your lifes going..stay away from hers and focus only on yourself....

i say go with the second choice as this will def work!!!

Hey Prep,

So I text her back saying that it's probably not a bad idea, she replied asking why that was and I said that I thought it would be good for both of us.

She pretty much deleted me straight away haha

Dont worry dude....her loss!! Keep your profile open so she can still see it, and just go out and practice ya sarging with other girls!! if she gets bk in touch, you got her interested!! If not, dont matter coz you got other options!!

Ive had personal experience with this. Losing a girlfriend you didnt want to always sucks and can be hard - especially if trying to "win" her back.

Basically what you have to do is do everything to the OPPOSITE of how your feeling. Sounds messed up but its the truth.

So if you feel like calling her - DONT
If you feel like begging - DONT

What you need to do is learn to be yourself and who you are and let her go. The sooner you realise she is her own person and you dont own her you can move on. Thats really the key - MOVE ON.

Go out, enjoy yourself.... start talking to other girls... have an awesome time. Post pics on your FB so she can see etc...

You need to establish yourself as the attractive guy she first met. Youve lost that attraction overtime by becoming needy (AFC basically). You need to be yourself and stand on your own two feet.

Good luck... its a hard road but I reckon so far youve done pretty well, keep at it.