So I have been with my girl for 2 years (Friends with benefits for one year) then went exclusive after that, we met at university and still live in the same town. We have such a laugh together, dropped the L word, met each others parents the whole lot. I did my PUA days in uni and the day I realized she was different it hit me like a thunderbolt, so we went exclusive. Going excusive didn't change anything and we were great for 9 months, going at it any chance we got, loved each others company, bounced off each other like we always did.
However, for about the last month or so she has been distant. The sex died down and she wasn't her usual self, so a few weeks ago we had a chat and she said she wasn't sure if she saw me as a boyfriend anymore, she said all I did was complain about my housemates and wasn't myselF. I realized I had been a total AFC for a month or so and killed the attraction and sexual Tension dead.I'd been moping around the house instead of manning up and doing something about it, I got a job in November so i have been pre-occupied with that. Was hard to judge the situation since she liked the atention but also felt smothered. So i backed off a bit, she'd end up texting me saying "not talking to me today?" and then double texting when I didn't reply. Good signs i thought, pulling her in instead of pushing her away.
So last night we had a talk as I was fed up of not knowing, we 'broke up'. I applied Matt Hustons Get your ex back techniques, so telling her to follow her heart, thats the way it is etc not AFC-ing and crying or getting angry which seemed to really throw her, she really wanted to be friends but i was hesitant to promise we would be. She ended up crying saying she needed me in her life, can't bear to loose me, loves me, and apologized none stop about breaking up with me. I kept my cool, as with Matt Hustons guide and agreed with the break up....
Obviously I don't want it to end with this girl, but having AFC'd and killed attraction it doesn't look good right?
I know I was a total AFC, didn't give her the attention she wanted and was all needy. I'm back to me now, training for a half marathon, moving out my current house and plans to start my own busness with some friends from uni are taking shape so I've manned up and taking charge now.
Well she text me good night using my pet name and being affectionate, low and behold I woke up to a text from her saying she think she didn't think she made the right decision (Cheers Matt for the words!) and thinks maybe a break would be best. Now i'm not a fan of breaks and think they're just prolonged breaks and i thought I was dead in the water. So i asked about the break and what she would want, she now says she doesn't want to break up then regret it a week later and if she made a decision in the heat of the moment or if whether it was the right decision.
So the break up game seems to be working, just wondering how you guys would play this? I'm tempted to continually agree with the break up and act like I am ok with it as it only took her a day to regret her decision. I think no contact and agreeing with the break up with some push/pull would do it, and a social network jealously scheme. She's already openly questioning if she did the right thing,and snapped at me tonight saying "if you want to play games then I can't be bothered" - little did she know I was on the late shift at work and incredibly busy
Also, no contact is an obvious rule but what if she texts lots? I sense danger of being 'her friend' (or emotional tampon in the words of Matt Huston).
All advice is welcome!