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  1. #1
    chickenwing91 is offline Aspiring PUA
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    Default Break up last night, regretting it today. Is there a chance of recovery?

    First post here, feel kind of bad about it being a request for help, but not sure where else to go.

    I have been with a girl for the past 9 months. Great personality, awesome girl, things went really really well (with occasional problems, of course). About 6 months in we took a break for 1 month, but we got back together and things were even better than before.

    Around new years, I began to get depressed. Seriously, probably clinically depressed. I retracted and stopped paying her lots of attention. She was angry that I wouldn't tell her anything.

    Two weeks ago, we talked about the depression since I was finally coming out of it. Here's where I seriously screwed up: I tried for the past two weeks to show her how much I love her, and became a full-on needy doormat in the process. Something I strictly avoided up until then.

    So, last night, she told me "I still love you, but now it's just as a friend. I'm really really going to miss you, and I love spending time with you and have a lot of fun. I just have no more desire to kiss you. I don't want to hurt you... but I tried really hard, and I don't foresee it changing in the near future."

    I handled it well. I asked how she felt, tried to understand her. Asked if she saw a future (she didn't). She was in tears the entire time, and was full on crying at points (I kept a straight face). I hugged her and said goodbye and good night.

    Since we both go to school together (college juniors), I see her at meals (we have mutual friends). Today we didn't really speak, but both acted happy during lunch and dinner, and spoke to other people at the table.

    I miss her. Today was hell. I know I can be the man she needs (not a doormat, and not needy), but I don't know how to show it to her. I know I can't convince her, and have barely resisted to urge to call or text her today.

    Is there a potential to fix things? What is my next step? I'm under the impression I should ignore her for a while, flirt with other girls, and basically show her what she's missing and let her make the first move. Is that accurate? I know she genuinely cares about me... she just lost her attraction to me.

    Thanks for any advice.

  2. #2
    Mr.Bojangles is offline Aspiring PUA
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    Default Re: Break up last night, regretting it today. Is there a chance of recovery

    Your situation sounds very similar to mine, it's a tad spooky.

    So, here's my advice from someone currently in your situation - fast-forward 10 days.

    The main thing to do is not go AFC - call her 10 times a day and text her hourly, ask her what you did wrong, cry, beg her to come back (I'm sure you get the picture) The best thing to do is actually agree with the break up as it'll throw her.

    Your pretty much right with your instincts, I wouldn't say flat out ignore her. Always let her initiate contact and when she does just be high energy, confident and fun to talk to. Ignoring shows immaturity and you need to radiate confidence. It'll be tough to not text/call but resist, but of you see her around always smile and say Hey.

    It's good to flirt with other girls and make her a bit jealous, bit if you're obviously trying to intentionally make her jealous it will back fire. But definitely let her find out your going out and having fun.

    But your gut instinct is right so go for it

  3. #3
    chickenwing91 is offline Aspiring PUA
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    Default Re: Break up last night, regretting it today. Is there a chance of recovery

    Thanks! Exactly what I did.

    Even though it's only been a couple days, apparently she texted one of my friends saying she was wrong and asking if he thought I would be willing to consider getting back together. He said he didn't know. So fickle. Things are looking up, though.

  4. #4
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    Brantonio is offline Aspiring PUA
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    Default Re: Break up last night, regretting it today. Is there a chance of recovery

    Your last paragraph is right on. You have to stick with that. Don't contact her at all for a while. Let her see that you're living your life and try to look happy about it. This will draw her back into you.

  5. #5
    LiOnHeArT is offline PUA in Training
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    Default Re: Break up last night, regretting it today. Is there a chance of recovery

    Dude, this is scary, I had this same thing essentially happen to me too the depression, not telling her what was going on, everything. Even the breakup was the same. And I'm gonna tell you I had that same mentality too. You seem to have a pretty good head on your shoulders, and its gonna be tough at some points. Critical error I had was another girl came along looking for a relationship and I unwittingly jumped back into the saddle. Terrible idea in retrospect. Give yourself some time before you do anything with the opposite sex.

  6. #6
    kingdork is offline Banned PUA
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    Default Re: Break up last night, regretting it today. Is there a chance of recovery

    I am a stupid spammer so I got banned from this site:

    This is me:



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