It doesn't matter if your break up could have gone in the Guinness Book of World records for nastiness or if you just drifted away from each other out of laziness, there is always a chance that you can get back together with your ex. After talking to hundreds of couples who have got back together, I’ve narrowed down some of the key steps necessary to make it work.

If you really want to learn how to get your ex back, then you need to do some honest self-analysis. Some people really rebel against this first, but all important step, because it seems like you are treading water. You’re not. What you are doing is getting ready to blow your ex-girlfriend’s mind with how awesome you are.

The reason this introspective look at yourself is so important is because you need to look at what you want from a relationship and how you are contributing that. The path to how to get your ex back involves figuring out what went wrong between the two of you in the first place. You can’t possibly consider giving it another go until that is determined.


One you figure out what went wrong, and then you need to take a good hard look at yourself and what part you played in the break up. Did you cheat? Did you ignore her? Did you take her for granted? Did you erupt in jealous rages? Conversely, did you let her have the upper hand always? Did you become a yes man and a pushover? Did you lose your personality and opinions in order to please her?

At this stage in learning how to get your ex back, I recommend writing all of these thoughts and ideas down in a journal. You can even use the journal to brainstorm some possible problems that led to the breakup. Then, when you have a good grip on what your role was, then you need to look at steps to change that. Do you need to work on your self-esteem? Do you need to take an anger management course? Do you need to take some time alone?

See, the next step in how to get your ex back is to make a list in that journal of all the traits you want in a woman. Then make a list of all the deal breakers in a partner. For instance, one deal breaker could be someone who is untrustworthy. So maybe your role in the breakup was engaging in jealous tirades, but then again, maybe you were dating someone who was a flirt. So make sure that your values and wants are at the top of the list when you are looking for a girl.

So then, what if this little exercise shows that you shouldn’t be dating your ex in the first place? That is definitely a sad detour, but this realization will be golden in the long run. You won’t waste time on a relationship that will repeatedly end in disaster. For more on how to have a relationship replay, be sure to check out this site to see if a relationship rewind can help you and your partner.

On the other hand, what if you do have a trustworthy girl and now you realize it and realize how wrong you were to be jealous? Wow, that also is a huge breakthrough. Just recognizing this and apologizing for your behavior could be all that is needed in your journey in how to get your ex back. So no matter what the outcome, the surefire way to find happiness, is to look at your breakup as an opportunity at self-analysis.

Read how David Arquette wants to get his ex back at People.